Paying attention to my dreams, and other things.

5.29.08 Horoscope:

"Pay closer attention to your dreams -- they may help you identify patterns that could shed a lot of light on your life. Your subconscious mind is working while you sleep, playing out different potential scenarios and showing you alternate ways of looking at the world. Sure, most of the images are weird or downright disturbing, but sometimes being disturbed is the best way to wake up from the monotony of routine. Your brain is hungry for a change in your life, and your heart should be, too."

I’ve been MIA for about a month or so now. It’s not that I was ignoring my online friends and family. I haven’t been really inspired to write about anything. I’m still not – but paying attention to my dreams – I thought I’d start and see where I end up at.

On Pain.

I have been in chronic pain since November of 2007. In January I took time off work to do a medical work-up, an MRI, and to get my back better. The doctor limited me to 10 pounds, with no repetitive bending, twisting or stooping. That took me out of work for the duration. In pain with nothing to do except dwell on my pathetic situation. I became rueful and depressed. The routine was so repetitious, every day being the same as the one before it. The days became months and hazed over in my mind. November, December, January, February, March, April, May. Almost 7 months of pain, pills, physical therapy, pills, doctors, test, pills. Pain is a curious thing. It made me begin to doubt myself. In this difficult, painful near year of my life, I began to wonder if I was psychoneurotic. My mind making me ill, my mind making the pain burn in my back. Then May 22 came.

I had an appointment at the Pain Clinic. I waited six weeks to see this doctor. I wanted to ask him to help me. I wanted to tell him what the pain was making me think. I was surprised that he took my pain seriously. No one else in my life was. My friends and family began doubting my claims of pain, my declines of invitations, my lack of enthusiasm to join in on outings.

The doctor spent almost two hours pouring over my history. He had me move my body as he watched. He pressed and prodded, he made grunting noises and clucking sounds as I grimaced and moaned my way through the appointment. He made purple marker x’s on my back. He looked at a diagram and pressed my back here, and there. I hurt. That’s all. I just hurt. He wanted me to describe the pain. Shooting, burning, throbbing, achy. He listened and then he said to me the most amazing thing.

"I know what’s wrong with you."

I must have just stared at him, because he said it again. "I know what’s wrong with you, and I can help." "Okay, what’s wrong with me?" I played along.

Myofascial Pain Syndrome with Gluteal Trigger Points

"Whew",  I thought, "that’s a mouthful". After a series of shots, I did indeed walk out of the office without pain for the first time in 7 months. I came home and looked up the syndrome he diagnosed me with. It seems as mysterious as the pain.

In the week since I left that clinic I have gone on bike rides with my grandson. Take walks pushing my granddaughter’s stroller. Walked with my daughter. Drove to my friends home. I haven’t dwelled on the can’t. It’s amazing really. The pain may come back, but the treatment for the syndrome is available to me with a phone call.

On Mobile Telephone Contracts.

I use T-Mobile. I have for three and a half years. Near the end of April I got a letter in the mail that said they will no longer service me after May 28. Seems I use a roaming tower that T-Mobile rents space from to service me. I have known that I bounce my T-Mobile service off the Centennial tower, it says so on my phone, but I never paid extra for it and I got good service in my house, so I didn’t think too much about it. That is until I got the letter. I called them up. They were losing their contract to rent tower space from Centennial. Now it was going to cost way too much for T-Mobile to continue to service me as a customer. There would be no termination fees they assured me. Well, after all the dust settled, I switched to Centennial Wireless. I paid my final bill to T-Mobil on May 8^th, and haven’t looked back. Until today that is. I got yet another final bill from T-Mobile with a $200.00 early termination fee attached to it! I called T-Mobile. After MUCH explanation from me, and several ‘I need to speak to your supervisors’, I was put on hold. I was finally given a phone number to call. It’s the office of the representatives who dumped me from T-Mobil and will help me settle my bill. I’ll call that number tomorrow. I bet you can guess how that conversation is going to go huh? I can guarantee one thing... I won’t be paying a second final bill.

On Grandchildren.

I’ll love ‘em all. My daughter is expecting Number Three. She’s hoping for another girl. I’m hoping for a healthy baby. Cloey Jo is 7 months old now. She’s got two teeth and fine red hair. I took her to the shop and had her ears pierced before she could reach her ear lobes. She has the biggest smile for me. She’s giving out open mouth drooly kisses. (Yucky!) But, I accept them all gladly, and wipe away the slobber when she’s not looking. And of course, she’s beautiful.

Cloey Jo "Tink" 5.29.08

Brody is 2 years 2 months old. He’s riding his bike, with training wheels, like a champ. We ride bikes together. I ride slow and he rides fast and we both go the same speed. He adores visiting his ‘Yaya’ so he’s here everyday. Sometimes he stays for a half hour, sometimes he stays for two days. His antics keeps me stitches. He’s precocious, and fun, and of course he’s beautiful.

Brody "Booger" & Cloey "Tink" 5.1.08

Okay, enough for today. Maybe more tomorrow. I missed all y’all.

love me later~tj

Like Father Like Son

Cloey & YaYa

My grandchildren came to visit this weekend. I had bought my grandson a new hat on an end of the season sale for next year. After I took this photo of my grandson, it looked eeriely familair to me.

In October I took one of his daddy after work, the day he got a new hat.

 

and I am smiling...

love me later~tj

June 10, 2007 "FREE Fish Saturday"

 

I am getting engaged!

I had gotten some gear at the local Wal-Mart a few days ago. I had asked a really cute grampa looking guy who I "bumped into" in the main fishing pole isle if he knew what I needed, and he being kind, (Did I mention he was cute?) took me all over the sporting goods department, pulling things off the hooks. I was watching how his hands grasped the things I would eventually buy. I watched his mouth moving, talking about hooks with a release capability but hearing him tell me about how he wanted to take me away from my drudgery, he was going to make me his date to the grandest gala we have seen in these parts, as his white horse high steps up to my house his carriage would hold gifts befitting a Queen, that I would be his girlfriend but only until he could find the ring befitting me, that the babies we would never have would be fun to try to make.... He found a baby pole that would fit my grandson. I wondered if My New Prince In Shining Armor had any grandchildren, when around the corner came a voice. "Honey, are you here?" A woman who wore a matching shirt as my new boyfriends walked into view. "There you are! I have been looking everywhere for you!" Smoochy kissy . Reckless, impetuous two timer! I thanked my ex-boyfriend for all the help and headed off to the check out counters with a shopping cart full of stuff I was certain I didn't need. A backpack with pole and tackle box and sunglasses? A life vest, hooks that magically released the fish unharmed once you caught them??? Lines, bobbers, weights??? All to take a one year old fishing on a free fish Saturday? FREE???

I was sentenced to 45 days.

I arrived at 9:30, only a half hour late today. Not bad! I was taking him to a kiddy fishing competition. His daddy cut his hair in a grossly unconventional way, and today his mommy had spiked it up. I saw my sweet Boog with this wild hair, and I laughed at his parents. Why they think they need to do this to him is way beyond me. To stand out? He already does. People come from far and near to see the most beautiful child ever born, and of course he is my grandson. They comment on how cute, sweet, adorable.... he is when we go out. People part ways to let this child walk through their midst... They don't need the mohawk. I wonder if I can go to jail for a visit to the barber shop? Hmmm "You malicious grandmother, you are hereby sentenced to do 45 days behind bars." I think I could handle 3 days worth and then I'd cry my way out.

She complained that he's the only one in a life vest, then the goose showed up.

Stuff was gathered and stowed in the truck. His Nana came out of the house to tell me that he ate first breakfast, and second breakfast, but 11'zies were fast approaching as she handed me a bag of snacks. Okay, so I took her snacks and didn't mention that I had not forgotten about feeding the kiddo. Hot dog lunched at the lodge were reserved for us. I just laughed and took the bag. We arrived at the rearing ponds, registered amongst the ooos and aaaahs as the Little Prince smiled and waved to everyone. Our lunch tickets stowed we were off to catch the biggest fish in the ponds! His daddy said he found the spot. He'd meet us there. His mommy was walking a stroller filled with the essentials becoming a Little Prince. I was holding his hand as he learned to walk in his life vest. He was top heavy-er and needed to find a new center of balance. Then my daughter spoke to me.

Daughter: "He is the only kid in a life vest".

Me: "They don't care if their kids fall into the ponds and drown. Remember we have the Little Prince here, we need to protect him".

Daughter: "But everyone is looking at him!"

Me: "They are looking at the goofy hair on the imperial child."

Daughter: "I'm going to walk ahead and catch up to his daddy".

Me: "Cya!"

That's when Boog spotted the Canadian geese with their broods. I hunkered down, (That doesn't present a pretty image. Let me try again ... I squatted next to him...I hovered around him....I gently placed my arm around him as I brought myself to his level ...okay you get it) next to him and held him close so he could see. The goose hissed, Brody laughed. The goose stepped closer, we stepped back. I averted Brody's attention and we walked on. I glanced, and I mean glanced away, and when I look back at The Little Guy, his arms were outstretched and he was toddle-running toward the geese! I snatched him up by the handle on his life vest so fast and swung him away from that mother goose. The life vest not only saved him from harm, but also saved the horrid scarring of a childhood. Imagine being attacked by Mother Goose. Intense therapy for years to overcome something like that!

I learn sportsman lingo.

His daddy had everything ready for us. I was grateful for the tryst in the sporting goods department at Wal-Mart with my two timing boyfriend. Looked like we did indeed need all that stuff. I sat down with Brody on the bank, he was thrilled with this new toy in his hands. He yanked at the string...line in fishy lingo. He didn't like the worms, er ... bait. I tossed out...cast the line. I gave the pole ...rod and reel to Brody. He held on like a pro. Until the fish took the bait. The pole flew out of his hands. I stepped on it, and held on. The fish didn't want to come out and play. It struggled. I shouted to his daddy, "We got a whopper here!" I put Brody's hand on the turner thing ... umm reel. It took both of us to reel that fish in. His mommy got the net. We did it! Brody caught the winning fish! We were certain that this fishing expedition would bring a shower of praise and prize. Brody was repulsed by the fish. He tentatively touched it. It hung on the line languorously. Then with it's will to survive, it started flopping. One jerk at first, then the momentum gained. It thrashed about. Brody cried. Then the momentum gained. He was screeching. We unleashed to fish from the hook. It floundered in the net. Brody held onto the net watching the fish as we walked to the measurement stand. The official measurement of the Little Prince's first catch? 3 and 3/4 inches long. We walked back to the pond and Brody waved bye-bye to the fish as we were glad that I listened to my ex-boyfriend's advice on catch-and-release hooks. Free to grow some more in the deep blue sea, that first fish is but a memory. A sweet, funny memory.

Section 25B paragraph 14 of the Grandmother's Manual

We fished around awhile longer and then the 11:30'zies came. Lunch. NOW. We walked up to the lodge and stood in line. "4 lunches please". We gathered the food, condiments, chips, and drink and sat at a huge round table. No highchairs in site. Brody sat between his mommy and me in a regular chair, one highly unbecoming to the bearing of The Little Prince. He didn't care. FOOD! NOW! His mommy ketchuped the hot dog. Then she handed it to him. Whole. Now I know a few things about hot dogs and kids. They love 'em. They choke to death on 'em. I let Brody get ketchupy and while he was busy with his tasty fingers, I ripped up the hot dog. Small bites. One at a time. His mommy spoke to me.

Daughter: "I know how to feed him MOM".

Me: "It's a wonder he'a survived it".

Daughter: "He does fine feeding himself".

Me: "You just said you know how to feed him".

Daughter: "He manages a hot dog fine. He has all his teeth, he can chew it up".

Me: "That;s fine with oatmeal and spaghetti, but not with hot dogs".

Daughter: "What's the big deal about hot dogs? He loves 'em".

Me: "Here, look at this". I passed my American Red Cross Grandmother's Training Manual to her.

Daughter: Rolls her eyes.

Me: "Read that passage" Pointing to Section 25B paragraph 14.

Daughter: "MOTHER!"

Me: "Fine, I'll read it to you, It states and I quote, "Daughter's should listen to their mother's sage advice when it comes to feeding a toddler hot dogs. Grandmother's know the dangers of this innocent food stuff that toddlers love to consume. Choking hazard of a hot dog on the choking scale - EXTREME - Take appropriate caution."

Daughter: "UGH!"

We looked at Brody, all happy with red sweet ketchup on every exposed piece of him, his hot dog eaten and starting on his chips. I started to open my American Red Cross Grandmother's Training Manual to the Chip section when my daughter walked away.

Ed McMahon Says $1,000,000.00 Could Be Yours!

I wouldn't trade this FREE fishing Saturday for a million bucks. Brody was so funny. My daughter and my son-in-law loving each other and loving their son. Brody riding high on his daddy's shoulders. Watching my daughter watch them with love and pride. The giggles and the laughter. The quirky banter that belongs to my daughter and me. I dropped them off at 2:30. I left them at Nana's house where they live. I kissed the sleeping Prince on his forehead and got in the truck. It's no wonder people come from far and near to catch a glimpse of him. He radiates a light that shines on my heart.

and I smile ...

love me later ... tj