... and I start to take things for granted.

I was worried when she told me she was pregnant again. She had Brody and 19 months later, she had Cloey. Now 14 months after Cloey we will be blessed by another baby in the family. Three babies in less that three years. She does pregnant really well. With the first two she slid into motherhood without so much as a twinge of morning sickness. I was with her during her labors, both of them, so I saw with my own eyes. She doesn’t feel the contractions. None of them. Hard labor for her is saying, "Oh, I felt that one a little." Brody was born in four hours, Cloey in two. So I start to take things for granted. I have two beautiful, robust, healthy grandchildren and I start to take things for granted. She’s flown through two pregnancies, and I start to take things for granted. Until last Wednesday.

Last Wednesday the Nurse called. She asked for Becca. I watched as my daughter’s face turned white. "Today!" I heard her say to the Nurse. A test that screens the baby for a few horribly upsetting diseases; spina bifida, Trisomy 13, Trisomy 18, Trisomy 21, anencephaly and encephalocele came back positive. The Nurse called Becca to make an appointment to come in to talk to the Doctor. Becca wanted it right then. After she hung up the phone she sat with me and told me what the Nurse had told her. Since the Nurse was not a Doctor she couldn’t say anything about the results, just that the screener came back positive. The soonest she could get Becca in was Friday morning at 9 o’clock. I started praying.

Becca couldn’t take the wait. She insisted I drive her to the Doctor’s Office on Thursday. The Doctor was out of the office and Becca, with tears across her cheeks begged the Nurse to tell her which disease her baby had screened positive for. After about 10 minutes of ‘ethics’ talk, the Nurse finally gave it up and shared that the positive markers were for Trisomy. Down’s Syndrome. Becca left the office somber, her face blanched white. "Mommy, I love it already. I’m glad the disease isn’t something that will kill it." I had to pull the truck over. She sort of fell into my arms and sobbed. I tried my best just to soothe her and reassure her, but I have to admit, I cried right along with her.

Friday morning came and we heard the Doctor tell us about the screener. It shows it’s results based on odds. There is a normal range, and Becca’s screener came back with her odds increased for the Trisomys. It doesn’t mean her baby has it, it just elevates the chance

that her baby may have it. Normal for Becca’s stats is 1 in 2000. Becca’s is 1 in 1148. So the Doctor scheduled an amniocentesis.

The amniocentesis was this afternoon. The procedure has it’s risks, but all went very well. When we left the hospital this evening she felt a little better. Becca won’t know anything for three weeks. They send the fluids to the University of Michigan and grow cultures to see all the chromosomes. They study the chromosomes to see if there are any triplets instead of the normal pairs. (That’s what causes Down’s Syndrome; that one extra 13^th, 18^th or 21^st chromosome.)

We were able to see the baby. They did an ultrasound prior to the procedure that showed us the most beautiful sight. I will never tire from the awe that I feel when I have an opportunity to peek inside my daughter’s womb and see my grandchild growing there. To not just hear, but see it’s heart beating, knowing that for the moment, all is well and good.

Becca is upstairs sleeping soundly tonight. I went to check on her a little while ago. She pulled her little ones out of their beds and cuddled up with her babies. Brody is on one side of her and Cloey is on the other ... and my tiny little precious granddaughter is safe in her mommy’s tummy tonight.

Please take a moment and say a prayer for my Becca’s baby, and while you are at it please say a little prayer that Becca finds the strength she needs to get through the unknowing next three weeks. It’s a very frightening time for her, for us, for our family. She has suffered so much emotional pain already at the hands of her husband. She is just starting to take her first tentative steps toward a brighter future. I know that when the results are in, all will prove to be just the way it was meant to be, but until then she could use a little extra prayer to see her through.

love me later~tj

Pass the Duct Tape and Kiss the Bride; A Week in the Life of Me...

Bridesmaid Dresses and Baby Bottles (Two days before the wedding.)

She called me on Thursday. Through her tears she said, "Mommy come and get Brody and Cloey and me." She never cries. Always stoic she told me over and over that everything was ‘fine’, but a mommy knows her children. Now she adds, "And hurry mommy!" I threw aside her bridesmaid dress that I was hemming for the third time. It was defeating me. I grabbed up my truck keys and headed out the door. Visions of her husband in the hospital or in jail circled my head. I knew it was bad, she never cries. When I got to the trailer, she stood there, with tears streaming down her face she told me, "We are getting a divorce." And the air was sucked out of my lungs.

Backing up to ‘The Last Straw’ (Four days before the wedding)

All her life she suffered from head lice. I used to say if she walked through a crowd the little lice bug would gather and their bugles would sound as they charged straight to her head. She’s 22 years old and she’s had lice about 22 times. I had her children at my house on Tuesday and I found some nits in my grandson’s hair. I bought the paraphernalia and took care of the issue. Anyone who ever deloused knows what it entails, so I will spare the details here. I called at the trailer she lives in and told her to check everyone there. When she told me that her boy hadn’t been anywhere, I told her to make sure that her husband checks her. When I returned her children to her on Wednesday, she told me it was indeed she that had the mother-lode in her hair and assured me that her hubby was taking care of it later in the day. I told her I would stay and help her. After all, I was a pro at nit picking... I’ve done it all her life to her. She was especially quiet, but she told me no he’d help her. As always she held a stoic face and everything was ‘fine’. I drove away wondering when her no good husband of hers would find them a home - They have been married only 3 short years and in that time they have moved 14 times. She is pregnant with my third grandchild. During part of her last pregnancy her husband thought living in a tent was a good idea, and my sweet naive Becca just said to me when I protested, "It’s fun mommy. Besides, he’s my husband." She always made excuses for him. I always looked for bruises on her, but I knew the bruises her caused her were hidden on her heart, because they were not showing on her body.

A Mommy’s Interjection

Now don’t you go wondering why she wasn’t living here with me before this. I tried.... Always I was told no. Always I was told that she would stick by him because he was her husband. They lived here with me for about a year and a half, until Brody was 3 months old. I about strangled her good for nothing husband 64,975 times. When they left here, I told her she and the babies could come home, but he would never live in my house again. I meant it. Of course I did what I could, but it fell so very short of what they needed. I kept praying that one day she would see the light, before it was too late for her.

So back to Thursday (Two days before the wedding)

I was shocked when it registered in my head that Becca has no hair. Seems hubby’s way of ‘taking care’ of the lousy situation was to hold her down and shave her head. Bastard. She cried again as she told me about the last straw. I assured her it was cute, but my heart was breaking for her. So I helped her pack up what she needed for her and the kids and moved her back to my house. After we got here and put her things away, I had to run a wedding errand. I left her alone for 15 minutes. When I got home she told me she was scared her husband would come and kill her or the babies while I was gone. That one sentence said it all to me. My shotgun is out from the closet now. It’s standing in the corner of my bedroom with the shells near enough by load it quickly. It’s silently waiting to protect her and the babies if need be. It’s all so sad. But I found my smile hidden somewhere, dusted it off and super glued it on my face. She was temporarily settled. The doorbell started ringing and I opened it. Next thing I knew I was hugging my cousins from West Virginia who came to stay with me during the wedding. Ahhhh, thank God for super glue!

Duct Tape and Potato Salad (One Day Before the Wedding)

I got up early. So much to do before 6 PM. The rehearsal dinner was at 6. The rehearsal at 7 and decorating the hall at 8. I told Becca that were putting her issues on the back burner. Not that it wasn’t important to me, but this weekend was ALL ABOUT THE WEDDING. I got out the super glue and she found her smile and dusted it off. I had to help her glue the edges but she went through the day with a smile. I started my day out this particular Friday boiling potatoes at 5:30 AM. My portion of the dinner was potato salad, noodle salad, beverages, peel and eat shrimp with dipping sauces, baked beans, a bridesmaid with a hemmed dress, a ring bearer with a fitted tux, someone to watch over Tink (Baby Granddaughter) while the wedding was taking place and me. HA! So by 10 AM all the food was ready. My cousin and my daughter and my ex-husband all pitched in and we got it done, packed it all away and hit the ‘easy’ button! The bridesmaid dress was serving up another can whoop ass on me Friday, so I went to Wal-Mart for some help. Did you know that they sell red duct tape? With a ruler and some tape the dress was FINALLY hemmed. Booger’s tux was finished, my outfit ironed and we had time left to hit a couple of Garage Sale. (My cousin Mary’s idea). I made it to the rehearsal dinner 10 minutes early. I made it through the rehearsal without tears and the hall was decorated by 11:45 that night. My head hit the pillow at 2:30 in the morning wondering what the weather would be like tomorrow. The wedding was outdoors ...

Pssst ... That's me there in the teal dress

Wedding Day

We all - all 9 of us got up dressed in wedding clothes and got to the wedding early. The photographer wanted us there early to take a few shots. I had packed a picnic lunch and after the photographer was done with us we changed into play clothes. We had three hours to kill and a two year old in a white outfit - well enough said. We played in the park, ate lunch and napped under a tree until it was time to get dressed again. The weather was in the 90's but there was a really nice breeze coming off the lake that kept us cool in our ceremony clothes.

I present to you Mr. & Mrs...

They were married in Polkagon State Park in Indiana overlooking the lake. It was absolutely beautiful. She will make him so happy. She made a stunning bride. But it was my son who took my breath away. He was so handsome as he stood there ready to except her hand in marriage. Through my tears I saw a boy, a gangly teen, but as I wiped away the tears, he was indeed a man. My only son. My pride and joy. He is her husband now. She is so lucky to have him. I am so blessed. My daughter walked up the isle in her duct taped bridesmaid dress. In spite of the haircut, she was beautiful. She hugged her brother. I cried. Then all eyes turned toward Chelsea. My eyes were riveted on my Scott. The beautiful look that overtook his face said it all to me. All was right and good. The preacher was Scott’s youth minister from his childhood. It was a more than wonderful ceremony.

                        

Everything went off without a hitch. The reception was filled with fun and laughter, good food and great people. We left at 9 PM. I brought the grandbabies home with me and the young adults went to the bar. There was a party waiting for them there. They danced and drank till closing time. My daughter and her one cousin were both pregnant so they were the obvious choices for designated drivers. I heard happy funny stories the next day. My Becca needed to have a release and she danced with her brother and new sister-in-law and had a great time with her cousins. I called my son and told him all the momma things I needed to, and then I wished him a safe trip on his honeymoon. They were on their way to Paris. He told me the Eiffel Tower was waiting. I could hear that he had a smile on his face, and his needed no super glue.

>

Today... (11 days after the Wedding)

Scott called me at 8:30 this morning. He and his wife are home from Paris. We talked for over an hour about the trip. I could hear Chelsea in the background laughing and saying, "Tell her about the ..." . They were in the car driving to their apartment in Michigan City. Their life starts back up tomorrow. Back to work, and college starts again for both of then in a couple weeks. We scheduled a date to have a pictorial view of Paris, but only if I would make him his favorite meal. Of course I will.

This morning my daughter is at the local college applying for school. The babies are at daycare and my ex-husband is at work. It’s very quiet here in my house. Life moves forward, it’s rearranged, but it moves forward. There has been no upset from my grandchildren’s daddy ... yet. I will stay cautious and leery on that respect. Scott and Chelsea are starting a journey building a life together that they both are working hard to achieve. Becca has taken her first timid footstep of achieving more for herself and her children. Life goes on.... and I am smiling without the help of glue.

love me later~tj

10 Questions - Luxy's Challenge

Luxy challenged us to answer these 10 questions ... and well here are my answers!

1) What do you like about your job? The children (I teach Inclusion Head Start) oh and I get a paycheck.

2) Favorite song/group/music type? Harry Chapin, and so many others. Josh White Jr. Has a line in one of his songs that says, "Music is the way, the music of the day, the total of the awe that I encounter." It's kinda like that with me too, I am in awe of most any kinda music.

3) What nicknames have you had and why? Why TJ because my name is Tammy Jo, and my daddy has called me princess all my life, does that count?

4) Favorite car and why? 1974 Green Voltswagon Beatle. Want one bad. Still.

5) Last lie you told, to whom, and why? I can't remember, so one of two thing may be happening here ... 1.) I don't lie. 2.) I've told so many that I can't recall the last one.

6) Dream vacation spot? Bathroom. Clawfoot bathtub. Millions of bubbles. A butler to refill my drink. A book.

7) Dream date? March 11, 2006 - I dreamt of that date for years. My first grandchild was born on that date.

8) Best friend and why? Jo - she and me we been together since 1979. I met her when she was dating my friend Jimmy. We have been there and back and still manage to love each other unconditionally.

9) What was the best job you ever had and why? Being a momma. If this is meant to be a paid job, it would have to be teaching. Or being a truck dispatcher for Coca-Cola when I was 19. I used to wait for the truckers to come in and I would ride with one. It was a lot of fun. One night I drove a double clutch 13 gear semi up I-75 by the Silverdome. I was scared but I had a good teacher - Lawdy the troubles I could have gotten into!

10) If you could pick any one super power what would it be? I guess I would want to be Band-Aid Chick. I'd make those who weren't - well. Or, I remember a dog cartoon from when I was a kid. This dog carried a satchel. Anything the dog needed - anything was in the satchel. From houses to boats to money to food hed would reach his paw into the bag and pull out whatever was needed. I'd like that power.

Leave your answers in the comments or in your own blog, you choose.

The Teacher Applicant

THE TEACHER APPLICANT

 

After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching prospect said, 'Let me see if I've got this right!

You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning. You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride! You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job. You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the state exams. You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English and Spanish by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card. You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps!? You want me to do all this and then you tell me........

 

I CAN'T PRAY!!!!!!