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Sunday, September 23, 2007

Entry for September 24, 2007- Icky, Yucky, Phlemy. Fever.

What a yucky weekend.

It wasn't the weather, that was beautiful. Not that I felt any of it.

I was sick.

Icky, yucky, phlemy, fever sick.

I laid on my couch for 48 hours. I think the worst is over. No fever in 12 hours. So that's a good thing.

I might have been able to go to work today, but I didn't, just to be sure it's past me. I would hate to give it to someone else. The dag-gum children gave it to me...

School hasn't been in a month yet and I have had 2 boughts of impetigo and this yuck. What a way to start the year.

My boss from my part-time job called me. How did he know I was home? Dunno, one of the mysteries in life I suppose. He wants me to come to work. NOW. Maybe I will. I am feeling better. But then there is the couch over there...

love me later~tj

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Black and White

Black and White
In the blink of an eye, white can turn to black...
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My next door neighbors home in March '07 taken with my Sony Cyber-shot.

What I found THE MOST INTERESTING about this burned home it that they lost EVERYTHING except themselves and .... the family bible. It was her great great grandmother's bible handed down to her through the family. It recorded everyone and everything in it. It was stored in a box that was nothing but ashes when they went into look for savable items. She bent over it, tears makeing muddy puddles in the ashes and she swept away the dust to find that the bible was not even singed. Not a burnt or darkened spot on her most precious of items. The bible didn't burn. Gives me chills ... and hope.

love me later~tj

Monday, September 10, 2007

Entry for September 11, 2007- On Tuesday we were Americans.


On Monday we e-mailed jokes.

On Tuesday we did not.

On Monday we thought that we were secure.

On Tuesday we learned better.

On Monday we were talking about heroes as being athletes.

On Tuesday we relearned who our heroes are.

On Monday we were irritated that our rebate checks had not arrived.

On Tuesday we gave money away to people we had never met.

On Monday there were people fighting against praying in school.

On Tuesday you would have been hard pressed to find a school where someone was not praying.

On Monday people argued with their kids about picking up their room.

On Tuesday the same people could not get home fast enough to hug their kids.

On Monday people were upset that they had to wait 6 minutes in a fast food drive through line.

On Tuesday people didn't care about waiting up to 6 hours to give blood for the dying.

On Monday we waved our flags signifying our cultural diversity.

On Tuesday we waved only the American flag.

On Monday there were people trying to separate each other by race, sex, color and creed.

On Tuesday they were all holding hands.

On Monday we were men or women, black or white, old or young, rich or poor, gay or straight, Christian or non-Christian.

On Tuesday we were Americans.

On Monday politicians argued about budget surpluses.

On Tuesday grief stricken they sang 'God Bless America'.

On Monday the President was going to Florida to read to children.

On Tuesday he returned to Washington to protect our children.

On Monday we had families.

On Tuesday we had orphans.

On Monday people went to work as usual.

On Tuesday they died.

On Monday people were fighting the 10 commandments on government property.

On Tuesday the same people all said 'God help us all' while thinking 'thou shall not kill'.

It is sadly ironic how it takes horrific events to place things into perspective, but it has. The lessons learned, the things we have taken for granted, the things that have been forgotten or overlooked, hopefully will never be forgotten again.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Were you left unscathed?

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Grandma with my morning class' flag of American Pride '01

The day the towers fell.

I was on the playground with my charges. I had 18 three and four year olds on the playground with my assistant and myself. My Building Coordinator came out with tears in her eyes. I thought she was going to tell me something disturbing about one of 'my families'. She didn't. What she told me was confusing to me. She was using words like, attacked, fell, casualties. I didn't understand, but I remember the fear. I needed to be with those I love, and hold dear to me. I gathered up my tiny charges and we went inside. I sat on the carpet and had them sit with me. I remember how I felt more secure with them in my lap, on my arms, touching them and loving them. They knew how upset we adults were. They didn't know why, but they soaked up the love we all had to share with them. In the days passed, we talked about the things they had to view on the televisions. We brought in psychologists to teach us how to talk to our babies about what they were witnessing, what they were hearing and how it effected them. We did the best we could. How do you explain to a four year old what has happened in a city so far away and what was happening to our nation? It's a natural reply from a child - "Why?"

"Why?"

This was a question I asked my own son a few weeks later when he called me from college.

"I have to do something Momma."

"Please, dear God son, please think about what you are saying. The Marines son?"

"You raised me Momma, do you think I can continue to go to school knowing that there is something I can do, and not doing it?"

It was several months later when I put my son on a plane headed for Kuwait. I remember falling to my knees. I remember screaming at God to hear me, "BRING HIM HOME SAFELY!"

Were you left unscathed?

9/11/01 changed us all in some way. It grew my young adult son up. He did come home safely. He came home cynical and full of contempt for a leader who lead on his own agenda. He came home with a knowledge of things he has never shared with me. It took a couple of years for him to find his way back into school. He will graduate next year as a physical therapist. He has been able to internalize 9/11/01 and move forward. He has never lost sight of a nation coming together and strives to be a good American. A proud American.

That one day in history skewed our perspective of a way of life. It shook us up, it made us all feel vulnerable. We lost so much in a span of one day yet we have gained as well. We have gained an awareness of our freedoms. We have gained a sense of pride unknown to many of us prior to that day. As a family, as a community, as a nation the pride we have is unmistakably American.

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Kuwait '02

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Homecoming '03

love me later ~ tj

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Autumn Sights ~ A Pictorial

I went outside today and it was the most mavelous of end-of-summer-almost-autumn days. I took my camera with me. I thought I'd share what I saw. Of all the seasons I love autumn the best. Imagine the fresh pressed apple cider and warm cinnamon-sugar doughnuts I enjoyed while I strolled the orchard.
(By the way Rick, you were right, sometimes you just get lucky.)

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"Tired Sunflower"

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"Rusted Wheel "

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"Apples on a Tree"

Friday, September 7, 2007

Sister Cousins - Together

Picture Perfect Friday is a photo challenge issued by 'Picture Perfect' on 360. This week's theme is "Together". Your challenge/option/privilege is to post a picture of your own taking that goes along with the theme. It's thought provoking and fun...so why not?

These are photos of me and my 'sister cousins' over the span of 5 years. You see in the last one that Angie is not in it. She passed and that photo was a hard one to pose for at the end without her. But we are together.

You can link to Picture Perfect here to see all the rules, I failed to follow them. Only one photo to show your interpretation of 'Together', taken by you. Leave a comment on her page to link to others who want to see the creativness of 'Together'.

Have fun, I did!

http://360.yahoo.com/profile-kGeHQtI5fqdl_eYjG5xrx0WrIO9d

love me later ~tj

This is 'Together' following her rules. I took this photo of my grandson on my lap with my Sony digital. I loved this photo the second I took it.

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"Wrapped Around My Finger"

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Entry for September 05, 2007 ~I Wrote Your Name~

 
I Wrote Your Name


I wrote your name on a piece of paper, but by accident I threw it away.

I wrote your name on my hand, but it washed away.

I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves whispered it away.

I wrote your name in my heart, and forever it will stay.


I believe in angels,
The kind that heaven sends.
I'm surrounded by angels,
But I call them my friends.
 
love me later~tj

silent scream by tjs 9/5/07


silent scream

is this the sound oF my essence careening?

waiting

the wondering

the pondering

scheming

tick-tock time is the healer oF all wounds so the saying goes

upon waking From my FitFul dreams

perplexing

when time that healer oF all would Find it's way to healing my hurts?

not proFound thoughts just a moment alone with my blind mind

like waking up aFter a long sleep and perceiving that

this is your liFe

it is

all that you know

and all that you have been given

and you scream

a

silent scream

as

you listen to everyone's striFes and everyone's wishes and everyone's dreams and everyone's wonderments and everyone's sorrows and everyone's discontentments and everyone's joys

spend a liFetime seeking that inaccessible goal that one dream of a liFetime

where is it?

what is it?

simply a diversion oF what we hoped and wished

people are reproductions oF our assumptions

liFe is a Figment oF my creativeness

i exist you exist we exist until we reach the completion

or

until destiny arrives

i am today

will i be tomorrow?

people Formidable people placed helter skelter throughout my years

placing inscriptions leaving marks creating mars embedding wounds causing grieF

writing my liFe's experiences in indelible ink

this moment i sit

and see

that what i thought was wasn't

a prelude perhaps

to

what will be

waiting For tomorrow to begin again

tjs 9/5/07

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Does It Look Like A Vagina To You?

We'd overcome some very hard times together, she and I.

My daughter ran away at 16. "It's not you momma." she tried to assure me. "It's me. I wanna know more, see things, be free." I begged her to stay in school - graduate - become something. "I will momma, I will become me." So she left. To another state with a particular "boytoy" that I did not approve of. He was 21, out of prison, but on parole. He had just blown his parole, and my daughter had a car. Interesting timing for finding herself, I thought. It took 5 months before she faced the reality that she needed to come home. She had put herself in harms way and found the courage to tell me she was defeated, and she needed me. The police had found out about boytoys blown parole and she found herself alone early on, with a group of not so nice people. (Hmmm now just how in the world did they find that out I wonder? ) Her car was broke down. She had no money, and didn't want to "earn" any the way her new friends were "earning" thier money. I thank God often for her homecoming.

Time jumping.

Jump 2-1/2 years forward, and my daughter is married and pregnant. She decides she wants that diploma and goes to school everyday. I didn't push or prod. I just made the statement one day that she and hubby could live with me if she finished High School. I helped her when I was asked, and to my credit, never nagged her. I supported her, quietly. Well that child of mine walked across the stage that evening in June and took that diploma, held it over her head and screamed out, "I DID IT!" Her cheering section could have been heard in the next town for the noise we made for her. Her husband and son waited at the edge of the stage for her. There has never been a day in her life that she made me more proud to be her mother as she did that day, at that moment. I was the only one who knew what it took for her to get to that moment. I knew where she had been, and what she had lived through to be holding that diploma.

If you could have anything you wanted, what would you choose?

So I offered her a gift of accomplishment. She could have whatever it was that she alone desired. Not for the baby, not for her husband, not for her family, but something she alone desired. She took a week to decide that she wanted a tattoo. Not one but two. She came to me and said, "Momma, we have been through hell and back together, and I want something to commemorate that we are back - together - and we are good - together."

"Through hell and back" - the design.

I told her design them, make them tasteful and not to large. Remember I told her I am a teacher. Tasteful. And she did. Mine is a heart with wings and a halo. Her's is a heart with flames. She calls the two of them as a set "Through Hell And Back" I wear my permanent reminder of the love we share on my left hand. I will carry it there through eternity - proudly.

The meat of the question I posed.

So I have had this tattoo for over 2 school seasons. This year before I get children in my classroom, a parent calls my Education Supervisor. Tells her that she doesn't want her child in my class because I have this "inappropriate" tattoo on my hand. ED Super asks parent what it about this tattoo that is so inappropriate.

Parent responds with - "It's a female vagina!" (Duh! Is there any other kind?)

I drove to parents home to show her my tattoo up close and personal.

So the question I pose to you, to everyone out in this blogisphere, is quite simple -

Does it look like a vagina to you?

love me later ~ tj