Covid-19 The Novel Corona Virus Quarantine Journal	March 13 2020
What follows is a daily journal throughout the quarantine of 2020. It walks through my thoughts, fears, elations, depression, and anxiety during this time in our history. It shows a real face to the everyday struggles of being quarantined alone.		How I stayed sane inside insanity

 

  March 30, 2020 I left work Thursday, March 12, 2020 not knowing that I would never go back. I had enough flex to take Friday the 13th off, so I did. I heard on the news that Friday that school would be out until the 13th of April; taking three weeks off work and another for Spring Break. At least I'm getting paid for my time off, others are not so lucky. 

Corona Virus or Covid-19 as some call it has spread across the nation. It's a respiratory illness that attacks the lungs. It comes with a fever and severe aches and pains and a horrid cough. People who catch the virus typically end up on ventilators. President Trump called a National State of Emergency, freeing up some 3 trillion dollars to serve through the pandemic. There were two cases in Michigan on Thursday, twelve on Friday March 13th. Governor Whitmer closed the schools and all unessential businesses on Friday the 13th of March. I knew that there was an epidemic, but now it was a pandemic, hitting close to home. I started to flounder mentally. I'm nervous. Gas cost is $2.49 a gallon

I went and got my grandchildren on March 20th even though I shouldn't, I needed them near me. They bring me a sense of peace like none other. 

Someone left three bags of groceries on my porch on Monday 23rd. I never figured out who did that for me. Gas cost is $1.79 a gallon

April 1, 2020 there were more cases. The governor decided that schools needed to be closed for the rest of the year to "flatten the curve" of the virus. I'm one of the very lucky workers in Michigan, still getting paid while school is out of session. There is a stay at home order called "Stay Home, Stay Safe" until April 16th. I had a doctor visit by telephone, another doctor cancelled my appointment.  My job at Dr. Brown's Recreation Center closed through April.  I'm struggling mentally, I haven't showered in 5 days, I haven't turned off the news. I sit in my chair or lay on the couch. I stopped eating. I'm more anxious than I have been since mom passed away. Gas cost is $1.59 a gallon. 

I went and got my grandchildren on April 2nd, even though I shouldn't, I need to find normal and it's easier with them here. I needed to cook for someone, and clean for them, and hear their chatter and laughter. Becky went grocery shopping for me so I wouldn't have to go into a store. She wouldn't take any money for the groceries. Gas Cost is $1.39 a gallon.

April 6, 2020 I turned the 24 hour news off. I watch it once a day now and change the channel. I'm taking regular showers and eating now.  There is now a mask order in place. Anywhere you go you need to wear a mask out of your home. There are fines for being out of the home unnecessarily. $1500 fines for if you are caught on the road. One can only be out to seek medical care, or get food. My sister in law Oleta calls me every few days, or I call her, Scott texts me regularly, I talk to Becky daily, my friend Susan contacts me daily to make sure I'm ok. 

April 8, 2020 Today Passover begins. In Michigan there are 20,246 cases of Corona Virus, and 959 deaths. 6.6 million people applied for unemployment in the nation, 817,000 in Michigan as the past three weeks have seen restaurants, barbers, beauty salons, tattoo shops, small businesses, and bookshops, close. It's easier to list what's open; food stores, gas stations, restaurants to-go only, hospitals, and doctors, some factories (but only if they manufacture essential items). Hospitals are running out of Personal Protection gear. They are running out of ventilators for the critical ill people. In Sinai Hospital in Detroit, there were only 7 nurses available on one shift to take care of 100 Covid-19 vent patients. They were exhausted, emotionally broken, and in need of help. There was no help in sight, they sat down for 4 hours while their superiors scuttled for help, none came. Those nurses walked out of the hospital that night. It was far too dangerous, they claimed, for both the patients and the staff to have to work like that. The medical field is overwhelmed, exhausted, torn apart from their families, working far too many hours for far too long. The big three, Ford, Chevrolet and Chrysler are now making ventilators instead of cars. Gas Price is $1.29 a gallon.

My sister in law Sarah made me a few masks and is sending them to me. 

April 9, 2020 the governor extended the "Stay Home, Stay Safe" order for Michigan. I'm here homebound alone until at least April 30th 2020.  As of today, 21,504 Michigan residents have Covid-19, of that number 1076 Michiganders have succumbed to the virus. In 28 days we went from 2 people to 21,504. The sad thing in Michigan, is the high concentration of African Americans contracting the virus. In Michigan, 14% of the population is of color, yet, 44% of the Michiganders who have been infected by the virus are African Americans. That goes to show how much Michigan needs health care reform. There is no gathering of any amount of people now. First it was no more than 10, then no more than 5 now no gathering whatsoever. The larger stores like Wal-Mart are ordered to be  limiting the number of people allowed inside to shop at one time, governor said only 4 people for every 1000 foot of floor space, small stores like Dollar General can only have 1/4 of their top occupancy shopping at a time now.  Michigan is building ad-hoc hospitals to house all the Corona Virus victims. 

On a good note a man called me today to ask me about my food shopping. I had filled out a form for the elderly on line, even though I'm 10 months shy of being considered elderly. I have a couple mild issues with my lungs COPD and a mild onset of emphysema, which panics me into staying home and away from any stores. He said my age, at 59, qualifies me to get food delivered to me each week instead of me going shopping. What a huge relief that would be! And it's a part of the Presidents trillions of dollar relief care package so it's also free. 

My washer is on the fritz. It's leaking and I need a part, maybe I can tape it till this shittin' thing is over with. I talked to Scott and Becky today. I called Susan before she could call me, and I talked to Jimmy twice today. Much love surrounding me. 

It took awhile but I don't feel as anxious. I have a feeling though, that I live on the precipice of a meltdown mentally. I just have to keep the good thoughts and keep the television off the news shows. Having depression and anxiety at a time like we've never seen before creates games in your mind. So I breath, I watch uplifting shows and do what I can to stay busy.  Gas price is $1.19 a gallon. 

April 10, 2020 I awoke at 3:30 and couldn't get back to sleep. Anxiety perhaps. I dyed eggs for Easter and took a shower waiting for the stores to open. I had to go to the drug store to pick up some of my prescriptions, I used the drive through there. I went to Wal-Mart and got some sugar-free sweet tea, and a few other essentials like pickled bologna and cheese hehehe. It was weird in there. Everyone was in masks and there were spots on the floor showing where to stand to be 6 feet apart from one another. I sorta freaked out on the inside when someone came too close to me. Then I had to go to Home Depot to get the part for my washer machine. I had to wait outside in a queue standing 6 feet away from the person in front of me. They would only allow 30 people in the store at a time, so I had to wait until 7 people left the store before I could go in. They had sanitized all the carts and had one waiting for me. The garden area, paint area and flooring area were all closed off as you can't buy those things in large stores like Sam's Club, Wal-Mart or Home Depot per the governor's orders. I used my pen out of my purse on the touchpad for my card, I didn't want to use my hands or fingers on it. I left there and went to the UPS to drop off a return to Amazon, they sent me two left corner angels instead of a left and a right, so I had to send one back. They too had squares on the floor telling me where to stand and only allowed 4 inside the store at one time. After that I went to my Post Office. I needed to post a box, another return, this time to Party City. I ordered all the dishware and decorations for a pizza party for the children and their families at school. With school closed down I no longer needed it and it was $50 worth of party supplies so they had to go back. The whole front counter is sheathed in plastic at the post office. The machine for the card to pay had popsicle sticks to punch in the cards code, I had to slip the box under plastic and step back, then the postal worker stepped up to get the box. Life is surreal right now. I came home and took a well deserved nap. It's Good Friday, the day Jesus was hung on the cross to die. People are claiming that there is not going to be an Easter this year. I say rubbish, there is a Good Friday and then an Easter Sunday. Jesus was hung on the cross, a day of mourning and sacrifice for Christians, He rose from the dead on Easter. The resurrection of Christ. A celebration that can be celebrated alone as I am this year or in families as Becky and Scott are doing with their families. Just because churches are closed, doesn't mean these days don't occur.  People are such naysayers with their contrary opinions. I spent some time drawing in my sketchbook today.  22,783 cases of Corona Virus in Michigan and 1,281 deaths as of today. Over 200 people died since yesterday. It's still growing.  Gas cost was $1.13   

April 11, 2020, I woke up at 3:45 again this morning, only today I was coughing and have a slight sore throat and runny nose, I'm overreacting, convinced that I might have the coronavirus. I laid back down about 5:45 and slept till 1:00. It was nice. I woke and still have a mild cough. I'll just keep a close check on it. I have no temperature or fever so there is that. Today is unremarkable, I'm listening to a audibook by James Patterson, Cross Justice. I'm planning on taking care of clothing today - go through what I don't wear, hang up the rest. I spend my days in my pajamas these days. There is nothing like being home in warm flannel pajamas. When I worked the first thing I would do when coming home was always the same, kick off my shoes and change into pajamas. People say I should get dressed and find a normalcy in these days. Those nickel psychiatrists don't understand that pajamas are my normal. I talked to my sweet Becky and Mike James on the phone today, I texted with my sis-in-law Sarah and Scotts gal, my darlin' Lulu, Jaisa. It's a little boring here today. I'm going to make a bacon and cheese omelet for dinner. It's 5:30 in the afternoon and I haven't gotten to the clothes yet, maybe they'll wait till tomorrow. Becky sent me pictures of the grandbabies dying eggs and opening their Easter Baskets from me, a day early, but they liked the books and candy and toys I chose for them. Daisy loved the way Becky had her dye eggs, She put rice in a bag and drops of food coloring, then put the egg in the bag. Daisy squished the bag until the egg was dyed. She enjoyed the squishing part of it. 

I looked at FaceBook and saw what my cousin Missy had to say about the state of things. She said, "Went to 4 stores today and parking lots full but no lines waiting to get in! Chose the one with less cars to get 2 things and a stupid woman got in my space in that store!! I work in a nursing home but come out of the store feeling like I need to burn all my clothes and bath in rubbing alcohol! Now that's sad!!"

My cousin LeAnne's opinion on the matter, "Just went out for groceries for the first time in a while. What a sad world we are in right now. Everyone wearing masks and fear in people's eyes with body's turned away from you if we happen to get to close to each other. This was including myself. Being counted as you walk in and counted as you walk out. Caution tape and metal bars directing which way to go in and out. Found myself getting emotional when I finally got back in my car. Never thought I would ever live through something like this, ever."

I'm sort of lonely today. I haven't had the TV or radio on all day, it's just been me and my thoughts once the audiobook was done. I just took my temperature its 98, up from 97.6 this morning. Hmm. 7:40 pm my temperature is 99.4, might be because I just ate. So I just looked up the symptoms of the coronavirus. 

Signs and symptoms of COVID-19 may appear two to 14 days after exposure and can include: Fever, Cough, Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing, 

Other symptoms can include: Tiredness, Aches, Runny nose, Sore throat. Some people have experienced the loss of smell or taste.

I have a couple of these symptoms - I'm freaking myself out here today, Going to watch the rest of Jeopardy. 10:00 and my temp is down to 98.7. I'm fine. Watching the Twilight Movies Marathon. I love these movies. I think the music is the best part of the movies. I'm going to bed soon. 

23, 993 cases of Corona Virus in Michigan up 1,210 and 1,392 deaths as of today. Over 111 more people dead since yesterday. It's still growing.  Gas cost was holding at $1.13  Farmers are dumping milk in the fields as they are producing it too fast for the needs of America since the schools closed down, or so 'they' say.

Later on April 11, 2020 - So I stumbled across an article entitled "When the Isolation of COVID-19 Gets Depressing". It lists five reasons that I could fall into the depression I was in a few weeks back. What I found relevant about me was three specifics of the article. 

Social deprivation - It probably goes without saying, but this was a huge struggle for me. I was used to seeing all my peeps plus all my littles everyday, I was and am still dealing with loneliness. Even as an homebody, I'm getting antsy as I plod through yet another week of isolation.

Information overload - I have noticed that the same stories and statistics tend to get hashed and rehashed in the media ad nauseum. Watching 10 minutes of any national news network, and I've pretty much seen their cycle for the entire day, and possibly the week. They tend to pick a hot button issue, and they smash that button obsessively. In addition, not all news is reliable. The COVID-19 symptoms I was told to watch for last month are not the same today. Depending on who I'm listening to, what I'm supposed to be afraid of changes week to week. As the number of confirmed cases rises, the percentage of deaths decreases. Symptoms range from pneumonia to the occasional sneeze. The economy is doomed and the economy is booming. It’s hard to sort through the chaos. It’s hard to filter what’s important from what’s not, fact from opinion, and truth from political spin.

Fear of the unknown - For all the presidential addresses and media reporting on COVID-19, the number of things I don’t know is overwhelming. There are people who are sick, but still can’t get tested. There are people out of work, and struggling to find a job. How many will get sick? How many will die? How will this affect the economy? What will be expected of me at work next week? I just don’t know, and that’s terrifying. 

I suppose these are three good reasons I fell into the funk that I did. I pray that the depressions and anxiety stays at bay. I have taken proactive steps to walk away from it. I make sure I take my meds every day. I talk to people every single day. I leave the house and go to the post office Monday through Friday. I interact with people there. I turned off the news, I started a journal. I try to complete a task every day in the house. I turn on the TV to hear and see other people, I laugh at that, but it truly helps. 

April 12, 2020 Happy Easter. Christ has Risen!! I slept through the night last night! Still have a cough this morning and a slight sore throat. My temperature is normal today 96.5 normal for me anyway so there is that to be thankful for! I talked to Becky and texted with Scott and my darlin' Lulu, Jaisa, I've been on Facebook "Happy Easter"ing everyone. I talked with Michael, and texted with Tim. What I haven't done is my clothing. Yet. I took a nap. My feet are swollen, I've been getting up and walking around the house ever half hour. I wanted to watch Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Jesus Christ Superstar" on the computer today, but it is not there. It was only up for 48 hours. I missed it, but it is being shown in its entirety on the television tonight, so I'll catch it there. I'll hafta catch "Buddy vs. Duff" on a rerun. 

I see that my cousin's are fighting and bickering over politics on FaceBook. the nation is saying the Governor Whitmer has gone too far. Michigan has the strictest policies in place in the nation right now.  I copy and pasted an article here from the Daily Wire, it explains it all. 

 

Michigan Gov. Whitmer Bans Residents From Buying Seeds Or Plants — And Gatherings ‘Of Any Size’

By  Joseph Curl/DailyWire.com

Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer is coming under fire for an expansive new order to lock down state residents during the coronavirus, forbidding anyone from buying seeds or plants and banning gatherings “of any size.”

The Democratic governor’s extension of Michigan’s stay-at-home order also outlaws residents from traveling “between residences” — although out-of-state people can still head to cabins and cottages they own in the state.

Whitmer signed the order, one of the most aggressive of any U.S. state issued since the pandemic began, on Friday evening.

“All public and private gatherings of any size are prohibited,” Whitmer said at a news conference Friday, noting that the stay-at-home order will run until at least May 1.

One part of Whitmer’s order bans the sale of seeds and plants, which is drawing fire from greenhouse and nursery owners. Retail garden centers have been ordered to close.

Callie Gafner told Michigan Radio that “banning fruit and vegetable plants does not help limit the spread of COVID-19.”

“If you’re growing them yourself, you’re reducing the contact between people because you’re not going anywhere. You’re going out in your own garden and picking them up rather than going into the store and coming into contact with how many people?” Gafner said to the National Public Radio 

outlet.

“[I] Just want us to be able to do curbside pickup and help our local customers to be able to do their own gardening and put the money back in the local economy,” Gafner said.

Michigan’s Republican Speaker of the House Lee Chatfield blasted Whitmer for making the “wrong call” and “bad for Michigan families.”

“Instead of essential vs. non-essential, we should think safe vs. unsafe,” Chatfield wrote on Twitter on Friday. “In Michigan, these are currently not allowed: — Lawn care — Construction — Buying home improvement materials — Buying seeds & plants — Fishing if a motor is used (Just to name a few. All these are safe. But the Governor says no. We can ensure safety & be reasonable. Let’s do both,” he wrote.

The Speaker also mocked what Whitmer deems “essential” and “non-essential.”

“Essential in Michigan: -Marijuana, lottery & alcohol,” he said. “Let’s be safe & reasonable. Right now, we’re not!”

Michigan is a hot spot for the virus. As of Sunday, there were more than 24,000 confirmed cases of COVID-19 with nearly 1,400 deaths. More than  78% of the confirmed cases are in the three-county Metro Detroit region.

U.S. Rep. Justin Amash, an independent, also ripped Whitmer for the order.

“Sensible instructions to practice social distancing, wear masks, and stay at home already do most of the work to reduce the virus’s spread. By pushing too far, the governor undermines her own authority and increases the likelihood people will not follow reasonable guidelines,” the congressman 

wrote on Twitter.

“At the very least, government officials need to trust people with matters that are extremely low risk. There’s no compelling case for banning bicycle repair shops or landscaping services, or for prohibiting open retailers from selling items related to home and garden maintenance” Amash wrote.

Others go on to say that Gretchen Whitmer is vying for the Vice President seat on Joe Biden's ticket. The cynics are touting that it's all about control, while those defending her are flaunting that it is all about safety. 

A cousin in Texas thinks Michigan has gone too far, a cousin in Michigan is defending the governor, and the post they are writing on is long and bickering back and forth,  craziness. Whatever is happening, I'm okay to stay my happy little butt at home so I don't get the virus that IS spreading like wildfire throughout our state. I have a pestering cough that is worrying me, I have a sore throat, that I'm anxious about - what would happen to me if I caught the virus that has brought nations to their knees? If Gretchen Whitmer tells me to stay home until June, I'm good with it. The news shows did their job. I'm terrified of the virus.

Here are my sweet babies opening their Easter baskets for a little joy in my life.    

Daisy, of course, couldn't give one iota about her basket, she'll see the candy and dig into that soon enough. She'll enjoy her bucket and the throw the duck away. I'm glad they had a good time with their baskets. Becky is making a huge ham dinner for them to celebrate Easter. Life moves on, just in isolated familial pods. 

As of April 12th - Hillsdale County - 75 cases 6 deaths. Gas Cost $1.19

April 13th - Feeling lousy today. Temp holding steady at 100.4 ish. I keep taking Tylenol to keep it down. I promised Becky I would call the doctor tomorrow. Didn't do anything today except eat and sleep. I'm coughing and have a sore throat and a heavy chest, but the cough isn't bringing anything up. I watched some TV and Netflix. Ink Master on TV, and Joe Exotic's The Tiger King on Netflix. It's 8:30 pm and I'm going to bed in a few minutes. 24,638 cases of Coronavirus in Michigan today. 1,602 deaths in Michigan, It's been a month of lock-down and I've been out of the house twice in that time, how could I have caught such a bad cold? Ugh! Gas cost $1.13

April 14th I talked with Becky last night and she insisted that I call the doctor this morning. I had a Microsoft TEAMS virtual staff meeting today at 10:00, it was nice seeing everyone, even through video chat. After the meeting I called the doctor. and she sent me to the hospital to get a coronavirus, and a viral screener run. 

The hospital was straight out of a "Twilight Zone" episode. I had to park in a specific parking slot, and call the hospital's number and hit #4. I told the girl who answered, my name and they told me to wait in my car. I waited about 15 minutes and a man called me on the phone and told me to go to the yellow tent that was set up in the parking lot. I walked up to the tent and told them my name. They gave me a mask and I got a white square sticker with a red circle sticker on it put on my chest, I was told to wash my hands and walk through the tent to the hospital doors. I walked in and told the lab lady my name. She took one look at the white square with red circle on my chest, and I got let in right away to get my blood drawn. After that, it was a trip back out to the parking lot to the white tent to get the viral swabs done. It was a miniature little bottle brush looking device that the man stuck up my nose and through my sinuses to the backside of my sinuses, and he scrubbed there for a second. He did that twice, once on each side. Then I had to go back in the hospital to have the x-ray done. I sat in a chair clutching my paperwork and a man dressed in what looked like a spacesuit with face shield and gloves and booties comes out to get me and took me back to do a simple chest series. It was an interesting trip to the hospital to say the least. I had three vials of blood drawn, a chest x-ray and 2 viral screens, one for the coronavirus and one for a broad viral screen. 

4:00 - The doc called me back this afternoon and let me know that my bloodwork looked good, no bacteria or infection showing up in my blood, she shared that my sugar levels are down, which is good, and I have no pneumonia in the x-rays, but some emphysema shows in the x-rays. I'll know tomorrow about the virus screeners. 

I made a ham and cheese omelet with green peppers and onions tonight for dinner, a couple pieces of whole grain toast on the side with butter and homemade blueberry jam... it was as good as it sounds.  I wanted to lay down on the couch, but my clothes were there so I finally got around to putting them away. I didn't lay down after all. 

I made 4 face masks today. Becky and Scott are so worried about me, I was on the phone or texting them throughout the day into the evening. I'm sure I have a "Cough due to cold", as Forrest Gump would say. 

Hillsdale  County— 79 cases and 9 deaths. 27,001 positive cases in Michigan 1,769 deaths attributed to COVID-19, the novel coronavirus. Gas is steady at $1.13

April 15, 2020 - Noontime, no news yet. I coughed all night long, I was up at 1 having a coughing fit and again at 4:30 having a coughing fit, I stayed up till 7 and went back to bed. I got up at 10:30 coughing again. This has got to slow down. 

1:30 The doctor called and shared with me that I don't have Covid 19!!! Praise the Lord! I do have a virus, probably a bronchitis. Oh, I am soooo relieved, as are Becky and Scott, and all my friends and family. Missy sent me a case of  chicken noodle soup and Michael sent me boxes of Mrs. Grass Chicken Noodle Soup. So sweet! 

I feel lousy. I can't go out and Juli Westgate, one of my coworkers, offered to pick up my medications at the Rite Aid and bring them out to me. I don't know what I'd do without the loving and caring people in my life. 

I made creamed beef on toast for lunch. I think I'll have some for dinner too. Tomorrow I'm planning on making a pot of Cowboy Beans. I found the recipe on Face Book and they look delicious. Becky's brother-in-law makes some similar to these but he uses sausage, and I'm using bacon and hamburger. MMM-mmm good! :) 

I got a letter in the mail today, with a return address but no name on it. I opened it and it said, "You are receiving this gift card from the generosity of a local business that is still open and wanted to give back to their community in a time of need. Please be safe and we will all get through this!” Inside was a $50.00 gift card to the Wal-Mart. 

I received President Trump's stimulus check today. $1200 direct deposited into my checking account. I'm going to pay my water bill and my house bill with it. 

Going to bed at 8 tonight, I'm exhausted and feeling lousy. 

28, 059 cases in Michigan, and I'm not one of them :) 1921 deaths in Michigan

Gas cost still holding at $1.13

April 16, 2020 - I went to sleep at 8 last night and woke up at 11:30, I stayed up til about 1 and went back to bed. I didn't wake up again until 3:15 in the afternoon. Boy-o I think I needed sleep. It has been a quiet day. Drinking the chicken broth that Missy bought me, and I had some tea in the cupboard, it's a cinnamon apple tea that I added some equal and a splash of my homemade cough syrup to. Whisky, lemon juice and honey, it made the tea so good, I had 2 mugs of it over the evening. My throat is still on fire and the cough is still attacking me. 

I watched a protest on the local news show. It was a protest against the lockdown and Governor Whitmer.  "Operation Gridlock" was posted on Facebook as an event hosted by the Michigan Conservative Coalition and the Michigan Freedom Fund, and was created to address the lockdown measure that they refer to as "tyranny." "Our Governor and her allies are infecting all of us with their radical, progressive agenda", a spokesperson from the group said. It was supposed to be a rally from the cars, but of course people swelled on the capital lawns congregating in groups, without masks on, with their Trump for President posters, Guns out in full force, and even Barbie dolls hanging in effigy. I saw several confederate flags flying. It was a shit show, not a rally. My Facebook friend Val, Gay Hergert's daughter from Gays diner in Reading put it best. She is a huge activist in human rights and has organized and participated in hundreds of rallies. She says, "Quit calling the shit that went down in Lansing yesterday a protest. It was a hate rally complete with confederate flags, Barbie's hanging on a noose, and disregard for humanity. That’s not a protest". I wonder how many cases of the virus will come out of that fiasco of a rally. 

Lee called me and asked me if I'd do some work from home on the web site. I was happy to do something different. I spent a couple hours adding product and deleting product. It was fun, but I always enjoy working on the web site for Lee. 

Becky called and told me to make a list of groceries for $200.00 and she would go shopping and pay for it for me. I just need to drive over and pick it up sometime today. She normally gets $400 and some change in food stamps a month for her family. She does well on that, she manages her food money very well in my opinion. Her family eats well, has snacks and drinks that they enjoy. Well it seems that due to the coronavirus she was given $298.00 extra dollars this month in food stamps, which was a nice surprise and a bonus.  On April 9th the Governor  also announced that the USDA Food and Nutrition Services approved Michigan as the first state to provide benefits to families with children who were receiving free or reduced lunches. “This approval will allow us to provide snap benefits to our kids to cover the cost that school meals would have provided had they been in school,” said Governor Whitmer. The governor says the value is approximately $193 per child, per month. So yesterday the governor's order came through and she received $193.00 per child on her food stamps giving her a total of  some $1,300.00 worth of food stamps. She is food rich, plus Daisy's school is still bringing breakfasts and lunches and milk to the house for the week every Thursday. I'm happy to take some off her hands. Just sayin'. 

28,059 cases of the novel coronavirus in Michigan today. 1921 deaths in Michigan. Gas cost holding at $1.13. I have a feeling that Governor Whitmer will extend the stay at home order till May 11, that's just my opinion, it is not based on anything I have heard or read. But I can see it in the numbers. 

April 17, 2020 

Up coughing again last night. I finally just got up at 5:30 am. I don't cough as much sitting up as I do laying down. Throat is still sore, but I'm feeling a tad better I think. There just so much mucus in my throat and lungs, I've been taking Mucinex pills hoping that they'd relieve some of the congestion. 

I finally made my Cowboy Beans and they were fantastic! I ate a bowl and a half of them, they were so good. I didn't feel well enough to go to Becky's today to pick up my groceries, so I will go tomorrow. I slept a lot today. My work email was blowing up this afternoon. My coworkers are frantic. We all have to go back into work to get some copying done and ready to send out to the parents. My time is slotted for Wednesday from 12:30 to 4. I put a call into our Union uni-serve director to ask if going to work during a stay at home order was really what we all needed to do. He thought yes, but will get back with me over the weekend with the final answer. 

Today was my darlin' Lulu's birthday. Scott took her out for steak and crab legs for dinner, or had them brought in, not sure if Florida's restaurants are take out only like Michigan's are. I am heading back to bed, gonna hopefully sleep the night away. 

30,023 cases of the novel coronavirus in Michigan today. 2227 deaths in Michigan. Unsure how much gas is going for today. 

April/18/2020 Today I went to take the part I bought at Home Depot back, it wasn't the right part for my washing machine. I ordered the right part online last night and picked it up today when I returned the first part. I stopped at McDonalds for a hamburger and a cup of coffee. And then I headed over to Becky's house to pick up the groceries she bought me. I never got out of the car, Becky just loaded my back seat up. She made Cloey take Daisy upstairs so she wouldn't see me. That would have been disastrous. Daisy would have thought she was coming home with me and would bawled her heart out and had a major meltdown when she found out otherwise. There had to be nearly $300.00 dollars worth of groceries that Becky piled in my backseat. So much food, I don't need a food bank, I'm good for a couple of months with what she bought me, other than bread, milk and eggs. I put it away in three shifts. First fridge and freezer stuff, then I took a break and had a cup of Cinnamon Apple hot tea with honey and lemon and a wee bit of whisky in it. Second shift was putting everything in my pantry or the 'wheel o' food' as I call it. Then I had a bowl of Cowboy Beans for dinner. After dinner I had a second cup of tea, that stuff is soooo good! Lastly, or phase three of the groceries is putting away all my crackers and goodies and bread. I have yet to do that, it's all on my stove top for the time being. I stopped at the post office before I headed out of town to do errands and Michael sent me some Mrs. Grass Soup through the mail. I don't know what I'd do without the people in my life. I'm very slowly getting better. I want a nap something bad, but its 6:30 in the evening and I'll be up all night if I take one now. I'm still coughing so hard that I swear my toes curl every time I cough, I still don't have my voice back. But no fevers for a couple of days now. I feel weak and tired. 

Michigan now has 2,308 deaths attributed to COVID-19 and 30,791 cases. Gas price is up to $1.15 

April 19. 2020 I woke up at 11:30 this morning. Feeling better today, still have a sore throat and a wicked cough, my voice sounds better, still not my voice, but better. I sold my Coca-Cola cupboard pulls for $100.00 on EBay. I had to take them off my cupboards, clean them with goo-gone degreaser, and get them packaged up for the mail tomorrow. I ate a bagel and grapes for breakfast at noon, and the rest of my Cowboy Beans for lunch at 4, I have no idea what I'm going to have for dinner if I eat anything at all. I called Becky and talked to her a while. I tried to call Scott but his phone must be off as it went straight to voicemail. I talked to Michael today and Jimmy called while I was talking to Becky. 

I need to do my dishes today, there are so many of them! I think that's all I'm going to do today except break up my chicken and steaks and put them in the freezer. 

I have a 9 am meeting tomorrow with my co-workers on the computer. I have to go into the school building on Wednesday and get packets ready to mail out on Thursday for my families. There is a great deal of hubbub over the going into school issue. Many of my members have called me to ask if they have to go. I contacted my uni-serve director about this and he says according to the Continuity of Learning that was put together by the Branch- ISD Head Start and the Executive Order 2020-35 (COVID-19) Executive Order No. 2020-35 Provision of K-12 Education During the Remainder of the 2019-2020 School Year, that yes we can go into the school following the guidelines of the CDC. My day is Wednesday from 12:20 - 4:00 with my teaching team. I have to clean and disinfect after I use the copier, phone etc. I have to wear a mask and observe social distancing of 6' apart from others at all times. 

 Michigan now has 2,391 deaths attributed to COVID-19 and 31.424 cases. 83 new deaths and 633 new cases of coronavirus. 

April 20, 2020

Had a 9:00 am meeting via computer this morning. We have to get everything around for our students and we needed to know procedure. I can't go in this week because of my cough, so a secretary is going to mail out my stuff for me. I called all my morning kiddos today, and Geneva called all the afternoon kids. Maria called my Spanish speaking families and we got the job done. Then I took a nap and when I woke up I finished writing out all the surveys onto the computer. 

Lee called and wanted me to do a little work for him but it will hafta wait till tomorrow. I'm tired tonight. It must be the illness making me so tired. It can go away any time now...

I went to Dollar General for some sour cream to make a recipe of banana brownies tomorrow and they didn't have any, and I sure as heck am not going anywhere near the Wal-Mart again, so I came home. I used Google on how to substitute sour cream in a recipe. It seems you just use cottage cheese and two tablespoons of milk along with two teaspoons of lemon juice, blend it all up and wallah! A nice sour cream substitute. I still haven't done my dishes. I will hafta do them before I make banana brownies tomorrow. 

32. 000 cases of Covid in Michigan today and 2,468 deaths - They say its slowing down, but I don't see it yet. Gas is holding steady at $1.13. It cost me $10.00 to fill-up my tank which was half full. Haven't seen this in years. 

April 21. 2020

I woke up at 7:45 this morning. I played around on the computer a bit, went and got my mail and talked to Becky. I had to go potty and made a big stink in the bathroom. When I flushed the toilet, it came up through the bathtub! It's a poopy, stinking mess in my bathroom and my dishes aren't washed and I need my water, so I had to call the sewer guy in Angola. Shorty's sewer and plumbing, 1-260-833-1901. He said I have a clog in my main drain. I have more than a clog, I think it's busted, there is a water leak outside my house. Shittin' house, I can't wait to be rid of it. So instead of paying off my water bill and my house bill with my stimulus check, I'll be paying a plumber to do whatever he needs to do to so that I can flush my toilet. $208.00 later and he couldn't fix the problem. Now to call a plumber back, and get the broken pipe fixed. I'm more than pissed off and more than depressed about this issue as I have 2 months left here before I move out and I have to spend all this money..... 

I've spent most the day putting stuff into the computer for contacts made to parents during this Covid 19 shutdown. I feel like crying and screaming and spitting and going berserk. It always comes to money. Which I don't have. Ever.

So I said, "Fuck it!" Then I went and washed my dishes. I filled up the sink and thought, if it doesn't drain, I'll just bail it into a bucket and dump it outside. I rinsed as lightly and as quickly as I could. It all worked out and the water drained. To where I have no idea. Then I made what's become my new comfort food, a ham and cheese omelet, and ate it on a paper plate. 

I was watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy and was so cold I cuddled up on the couch with an afghan and can't remember the final question, or much of for that matter, of Jeopardy. When I woke up 45 minutes later, the cable and the internet is not working, I called and there is an outage in the neighborhood. So, I took my nightly meds and will be ready for bed in about half an hour. What a great way to put an exclamation mark on a shitty assed day. 

32,967 Cases of Covid-19 in Michigan 2,700 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas cost $1.09

April 22, 2020

Today I woke up at 10:15 and jumped onto my 10:00 meeting with work. Then I sat and did the work that they wanted me to do, and I worked on the website a little for Lee. I sold my coffee table and the lady who wanted it off Facebook came and got it today. 

I got a call from a fella who came to look at my sewer mess today, he and his buddy are coming back Friday to fix it for me, so 2 more days of jimmy rigging a toilet, since all the public restrooms are closed due to Covid-19. Chambermaids weren't paid enough is all I'm saying. 

I talked with Geneva, and Becca, a gal named Lisa called me about Meals on Wheels, when I said I didn't need it she insisted, because I live alone and it will have someone checking on me daily. I caved in and finally told her okay, that I would try it out. I also talked to Mike, Jimmy and Chan from work, and of course all the people on the TEAM meeting. I talked to Lynn Landers and Cindy our director today, Lynn is going to do all my mailing since I still have a cough and symptoms. 

I'm up at 11:30 tonight. That's late for me. I have a 10:00 meeting in the morning with the superintendent and my uni-serve director Mac, not sure if Cindy will be there or not. 

I want to hear the governor talk tomorrow, she's due to lighten up on the closed businesses and some of the social outlets like boating and parks. Everything has been closed down from swingsets, basketball courts, boating with a motor, and so much more. I have a feeling she'll lighten up a bit on some social activities but lengthen the quarantine till May 11th or 18th. That is just my opinion from what little news I watch.  

33,966  cases of Covid-19 in Michigan up 999 people today, and 2,813 deaths, 193 more Michiganders dead. Hillsdale County had 97 cases and 12 deaths. Up 22 cases 6 deaths from nine days ago. I don't see a flattening of a curve yet. Gas still at $1.09 

April 23. 2020 Up coughing at 3:30 after laying in bed till 12:30 last night coughing. I couldn't get back to sleep so I got outta bed at 4:30 and made some coffee. I can't wait to see what today will bring. I'm going to wait till tomorrow and if I'm no better I'll call the doctor; it will be 14 days tomorrow. 

Grossest thing happened to me yesterday, I talked about chambermaids not ever getting enough money - they couldn't be, no matter how much it was, it wasn't enough. I was using my fashioned chamberpot and went to dump it and part of the contents rolled out without me knowing. I got to the kitchen and something was on the bottom of my slipper, so I scuffed it along on the carpet to get it off, thinking it was a piece of paper. It was what fell outta the pot without me knowing. I had stepped on it and tracked it through the living room and the kitchen. So out came the bleach and soap water for the tile in the kitchen, and out came the can of carpet cleaner with a scrubber on top for the tracking and smear on the carpet. I had to make a spray bottle with bleach for sanitizing the carpet areas. Then I scrubbed and bleached the scrubber on the can to clean it and finally I washed and bleached the bottom of my slipper. I cannot wait till Friday when the sewer is usable again! the things I go through are more ridiculous than if I made it up. 

My coffee is tasting good. 

 

I belong to a Face Book Group called Sisterhood Blessings. It's a group where I can ask for prayers, gripe about something, offer prayers and praise. It's a great group of encouraging women. One other thing that takes place in this group is what they call "blessing each other". I had to make a wish list on Amazon and if a lady says "drop your lists below" after her gripe or whatever, you comment on her post and copy and paste your wish list. 

Strangers have bought me things that you couldn't imagine. So far I have had probably 40 things bought for me. From strangers; really nice things too. Someone bought me a waffle maker and diabetic waffle mix, someone else bought me a digital kitchen scale. For Easter someone bought me a sloth Easter bunny. Isn't he the cutest? I've gotten playdough sets for  Cloey, books for Brody, lots of stocking stuffers for my big kids, journals for me, and so much more. It just amazes me that people will buy strangers things. I pass it on and occasionally buy something for someone. I call it Ninja Gifting. I never tell them I bought it, and on the gift card I just write, "From a sister". I like those types of gifts the best. Someone just bought me a flamingo tumbler, without telling me, or signing the card.  Like I said, these are some really nice things people are getting me. Honestly, I love getting the prayers, encouragement and support from the women in the group almost if not more than I enjoy getting the gifts. comradeship is so important during this quarantine.   

I have to get the gumption to videotape myself reading a book to my classroom and paste it onto the Lincoln Center's wall on Face Book. All the other teachers are doing it and I need to as well. My kids deserve to see me reading them a story. 

The meeting went well, they agreed to everything we put out there. Mac rewrote some language points on it and we will sign it. I called the doctor and explained the gunk I'm still coughing up every 5 minutes. She told me I have to wait it out and prescribed me some Tessalon pearls for my cough. They are like robotussin, and don't touch this cough. Then I took a nap. 

I got up and made the banana brownies I been wanting to make. they are in the oven smelling great. I need to go make the frosting for them. 

Brody is having so much trouble in English, poor kid. He has to take a test on passive voice versus active voice. He's not getting it. He scored a 28 the first go round. He needs to score at least 68 to pass. He has till Sunday to get it. I sent him this chart hoping it might help, I even offered to sit with him through the test and help him figure out what voice the sentence is in, but he just started crying and Becky put it away for the day. My heart breaks that it doesn't come easy to him. I loved English. He struggles with it so badly. Bless his heart. 

I put a couple of things on eBay today, it would be nice if I start selling, it's been really quiet on eBay lately.

The Banana Brownies with Brown Butter frosting are sooo good.

I'm watching one of my favorite movies "Pretty Woman" for the 8,548th time. I love that movie. 

I'm going to bed about 10:30 tonight, not past midnight like last night.

35,291 cases today, 2,977 deaths in Michigan. Gas is at $1.09

April 24, 2020 7:00 am Its sewer fixing day! 11:30 am :( Sadly it's not, after the two fellas came and dug around awhile, I asked them to leave and gave them a $20 for gas money. I called on Jeff who I trust to get the job done straight. He's available early next week. Lee is going to call his son to drop the Kubota off here so some real work can begin. I'll hafta call the insurance company to come and fix up my crawl space for the damage that the leak has caused under the house, but I'll wait until the sewer pipe is fixed.

I listened to the Governor Whitmer she extended the state’s “Stay Home, Stay Safe” through May 15, and she lifted several restrictions on various business and leisure activities. Some businesses that have been closed will be allowed to reopen while using social distancing guidelines.

Masks must now be worn in any enclosed public space. That means all the businesses that are open, the staff hafta wear masks too. 

People can travel to and from residences in Michigan again. This includes moving into a new residence. Hopeful that my apartment will open up soon. Fingers crossed! Michiganders can once again leave the state to travel to another home or return from out of state to a home in Michigan. 

State parks will remain open for day use. However, they are subject to closure if the DNR determines too many large crowds are gathering or social distancing is not being observed.

Workers at garden stores, nurseries and lawn care, pest control and landscaping operations may return to work, bicycle maintenance and repair shops can reopen, moving and storage workers may also start working again. Maintenance workers and groundskeepers may return to work, provided their employers can be open under the order. Jimmy will be happy that golf courses can reopen, but golf carts will not be allowed. Boating, including the use of motors, is allowed once again, if boaters stay at least six feet away from anyone who does not live in their home, and finally any non-essential store can do curb side pick-up. This is of course, all being done while working under social distancing guidelines that the governor put in place weeks ago. She did say that people won't be fined if caught social distancing, but they would get warnings and be asked to break up the group if there is one. 

Travel to addiction recovery meetings is allowed, as long as there are no more than 10 people in attendance. I didn't know there were no AA or other recovery groups going on. I'm sure they figured out how to help each other through this. And, Finally, large stores can once again sell items like carpeting, paint and furniture. That one piece of regulation really ramped up a national debate on how far is too far. I've seen Michigan's governor on the national news being called a tyrant, and a lawbreaker. Be it what it may, I for one will follow the social distancing guidelines and try my best not to get ill. It seems like I catch viruses easily. This is the second big virus I have had since February. I was really sick over my birthday and took a week off work then. I surely do not want the coronavirus. I have taken my flu shots and pneumonia vaccines. I do every year for fear of getting the flu, or God forbid, pneumonia again, that stunt landed me in the hospital for 6 days. I saw this on a friends Face Book post and thought it was perfect for today. 

 

Because, quite honestly, today I feel really small and really insignificant. Bless Becky's heart, she offered me to come to her house till the sewer is fixed. This anxiety comes out as procrastination in me. I know I need to do things, but they all can wait. I feel shaky and full of anxiety. To the point of asking myself, "Do I take a chill pill (Xanax) or not?" I think I will. 

I did and I got most everything I wanted accomplished. I called the Community Action Agency to see if they will help me with my sewer. I went to the mailbox.  I wrote my director an email about extending the school year by 2 weeks, because not everyone wanted to work the extra 2 weeks. Then I wrote my payroll an email  to see if working those 2 weeks would ruin my retirement plans, I don't think they would simply because I'd only be working till the 29th of May and I was slotted to retire on the 15th. I searched for a Scentsy stuffed animal for Cloey, she loves my owl so much because it smells so good, I bought her a lion with a warm sugar cookie scent, she'll love it at Christmas time. Then I did some work on the website for Lee. I added pictures and options to a product and added 2 new products. 

The oddest thing happened today. I got Meals on Wheels. I had talked to a guy a couple weeks ago who was going to send groceries every week. When he called to confirm I told him I was good with groceries and explained how my daughter took care of that for me. I was told straight away that I was too young for Meals on Wheels so now it was I moot point; I didn't need it. So, when I got Meals on Wheels today, I was thoroughly confused. So, they are on my list to call tomorrow and figure out how I got it since I'm 59 not 60 and that I don't need it now. 

I'm going to go make Cherry Pork Chops for dinner.

I not only made Cherry Pork Chops, I made noodles and peas too. First real meal I made in a while. other than my ham and cheese omelets. I had a banana brownie for dessert. It was a satisfying meal. 

It's 10:10 I'm finally feeling better, this virus is a slow to go virus, anyway, I am sitting back having a cup of my divine apple cinnamon tea with my homemade honey/lemon/whiskey mixture in it. It is sooooo good. Watching Dateline and drinking divine tea. 

36,641 cases of Coronavirus in Michigan 3,085 death so far. Gas cost $1.19 in town, but just down the road in Edon, Ohio it's $.99. 

April 25, 2020 “Autism . . . offers a chance for us to glimpse an awe-filled vision of the world that might otherwise pass us by.” I dreamt about Daisy again last night. This time it wasn't so nice. The last time it was. She was a baby in both of them. I wonder why she is weighing so heavily on my mind. 

Well it's 2:30 and today I went to the Post Office, there was only junk mail so I tossed it out before I got home. I fooled around on the computer, some, I talked to Becky. Seems I forgot to put the S for South in Melissa's address, potentially making her state refund check delayed. I feel bad, but there is nothing I can do to fix the problem. Melissa is going to call the Post Office on Monday and see what's up. I ate a frozen Meals on Wheels meal for lunch. It was good, pork loin, peas, and a baked potato. I had some cottage cheese and a banana brownie too. I emailed my supervisor and asked her if I could make a video with all the people who work at Lincoln holding "I Miss You" signs. She agreed so I have a call out for photos of everyone. It should be a fun project. I gave everyone till Wednesday to get their photo to me. I'm going to set it to Bruno Mars song, Count on Me. I love doing things like this. YAY! 

Rich Adams called me back. I shared condolences about his wife. She died on the 4th. Can't even have a funeral until the lockdown is over. such a shame. I shared with him about the sewer issue, I told him I have a man coming over, who is a handyman, but if he would rather do the job so he knows it's done right he needed to let me know. He's going to be taking over the house as soon as I get my apartment, so I thought it only fair to let him know. He said he'd bring the Kubota over and dig it up to see what's up with it. 

Hunger Games is on the TV. I've seen it at least 76 times. I love the whole 4 part series of movies. At this point it's just noise in the house to keep me company. I occasionally watch it for a minute or two and go back to what I was doing, lately since the quarantine, it's been the computer. 

It's later, I took a nappy-nap and I loved it! Hunger Games Catching Fire is on the boob tube now. Later The Mocking Jay Part 1 and then the Mocking Jay Part 2 will show. I love when they show all four movies back to back. They do it with the Twilight Saga and Back to the Future Trilogy sometimes as well. I'm going to interrupt my movies to watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy, then a back to back Dateline that ends at 10:00. Maybe I'll flip back to the Hunger Games chronicles. I just Googled what it's called when there are 4 movies to a story. The answer is: If there are four parts to a movie, it's called a tetralogy. So, Hunger Games and Twilight are tetralogies, while Back to the Future is a trilogy. There's that. 

I don't know what I want for dinner. Maybe another frozen dinner. 

 I did have a frozen dinner. It had southwestern corn with black beans, a sweet potato and a meat surprise. I think it was supposed to be turkey roll, I dipped it in BBQ sauce and ate half of it , but the corn and potato were really good. I had a piece of wheat toast with butter and sugar-free sweet tea. 

I wrote this awhile ago on my internet journal. I re-read it tonight and thought it sorta hit the mark for the days I live in today. 

Life Goes On And Other Garbage

The main problem with life is that it goes on. And on. And on.

People say that like it’s supposed to comfort you. Like, if you don’t get the job you wanted or your dog dies or the guy you’re so smitten with just out of the blue stops calling, your mom or your friend or your boss will inevitably say, oh, well, life goes on. As if it’s supposed to make you feel better, somehow, knowing that not only do you have to deal with this stupid bleeding heartache, but even while you gingerly nurse that hurt you still have to keep making your stumbling way through this magnificent/godawful old world.

Life goes on even after you’ve poisoned every good thing that’s ever come your way. Life goes on after you’ve single-handedly destroyed every relationship that was important to you, as if you were on some kind of mission to prove just how unloveable a person can be. Life goes on after you’ve fucked around so much at work, knowing all the while that you’re fucking around and hating yourself for it, that you face the very real risk of being fired. Life goes on, and you’re left standing amid all the sad wreckage of your little self. Life goes on even on the days when you can’t get out of bed. Life goes on especially on those days.

Life goes on after the good stuff, too. Like that walk home from the bar with your lover, when both of you were tipsy enough to find everything perfect and funny, even the things that were neither perfect nor funny. It was summer then, a real big city summer where daytime heat smashes you hard against the pavement, but that night was a sort of reprieve. The baking stillness of the day was gone, and there was a delicious breeze coming from somewhere, maybe the lake. The leaves on the trees were broad and green and made a soft shushing sound above you. The streetlights hazy, and the world smelled like fresh cut grass. You knew that when you got home you would fuck and eat junk food and watch cartoons and then fall asleep in a tangled pile like a pair of puppies.

It was the kind of moment that you feel nostalgic for even as you’re living through it – you catch yourself mid-laugh and realize how happy you are, and then you instantly feel the sharp pang of longing for the thing you’re still in the middle of experiencing.

But life goes on.

You don’t get to hit pause or take a break from living. Even if you stay perfectly still and will everything around you to do the same, life still steamrollers over you. There’s no chance to sit back and appraise the situation, no time to collect your wits or figure out what you’re going to do next. You have to stay on your toes, you have to keep running, or else life will crush you. But even once you’re crushed, life goes on.

I have such a deep ambivalence about living. Things are either painfully, frantically wonderful or else they’re bitterly terrible. I love this world, but I love it with a suffocating zeal that can’t possibly be maintained. I rarely ever seem to hit that balance of peaceful contentedness that other people seem to manage – I’m always running headlong into something, trying to create some feeling that would otherwise be lacking. And if I do somehow manage to hit that point of effortless happiness, I always manage to sabotage myself. I’m like Shiva, the destroyer of worlds, except that I’m Anne, the destroyer of boring, petty human lives.

Which isn’t easy.

I mean, you really have to work hard to be this consistently vicious and miserable all of the time.

It’s not that I want to be unhappy, it’s just that my brain is an expert at leading me on these circuitous little journeys that always start out so promisingly but end with me stabbing myself in the back. I’m an ouroboros of anguish, both the giver and receiver of all my own pain. I’m hell-bent on being the wrecking ball that smashes through the wall of my own house. I’m all-the-other-semi-accurate-and-very-dramatic metaphors you can think of.

And, I mean, we could delve into all the reasons why I act this way, but frankly the story is long and unoriginal. Suffice to say that shit happened, some of it was my own fault, and now I’m here. The rest I’ll save for my therapist.

Because life goes on and I’ll have another therapy session this Wednesday and then I’ll come home and crash into my bed and try to sleep but probably I won’t be able to.

And then I’ll get up and putter around the house and maybe wash the dishes or start dinner since life, of course, goes on.

I wish that I could wrap this post up on a hopeful note, maybe with a line of trite wisdom that you might find on a greeting card or in a particularly terrible self-help book. I want to be able to tell you that everything’s going to be fine, that sure, life goes on, but it’s all in what we make of it and we have to take the good with the bad and there are other fish in the sea. I wish I could tell you that I wasn’t sitting here in a seething fury of fear and self-hatred, but that wouldn’t be true. I wish I could tell you that I wasn’t a self-indulgent, oversharing little brat, but. Well. Here we are.

The most that I can do is offer all of this up to you. Maybe you’ll see some of yourself reflected here. Maybe a sentence or two will strike you as being quite true, in a way that you were never able to articulate before. Or maybe this will help you be more compassionate or some junk like that.

You, the people reading this, are the only thing that make these garbage essays about my garbage feelings worthwhile. Because you always seem to glean some kind of meaning from them, even when all I can see is a morass of bad prose. You’re the way that I manage to justify bleeding this way all over the internet. You somehow make that bleeding important.

Against all odds, you give me hope.

37, 203 cases of coronavirus today, up 562 cases since yesterday. There were 189 deaths today bringing the total of Michiganders who died from the virus up to 3,274. Gas in town is still at $1.19 a gallon. 

April 26, 2020 Up at 4:40 am coughing, had to pee. Got coffee and wrote an email to a new fella I met online. I never learn. John and Ross told me once that Mr. Right doesn't own a computer. I wrote this piece long ago... it still stands today. Only recently I chatted with a man who went to prison for attempted murder, another who was a child molester, and yet another that was a compulsive liar. This is my story of online dating. 

Online dating...

Yeah, I tried it. I had an offer for a free trial on one of these sites so I sat down and thought, "Why not?" I'd like a date so I wrote a profile, In 500 words or less tell the world of men who you are and what makes you uniquely you. I took my time to write the profile that would persuade Mr. Right. to tune into me. Not wanting to sound desperate, or too needy, or too picky to a man, this is what I came up with:

Tagline: Looking for someone to share a life with..... 

Profile: "I want to meet someone who lives nearby. I own my own home, I have my own income, I don't need a man to make decisions for me or to help me get through life, I am self-sufficient and self-reliant. I'm not looking for you to take care of me, I just want to find that someone who can share a life with me. I'm too old for head games, fuck-buddies or just hanging out without a goal in mind. I have 2 kids who have their own lives. I have a couple of grandchildren who I adore. I am a big gal... I've been every size there is under the sun, and fate says big. I am who I am. If your into fit, athletic and thin types, click "next". If you don't have a job, have no goals in life, drink like a fish, inhale, inject or seek an altered reality click "next". If you have ever been busted for a DUI, domestic abuse, theft or are on any existing sex offenders list, click "next". I am a redhead and ornery and fiery. I love with passion and give all that I am in the right relationship. Think you can handle me? Drop a line.....I might send a line back." 

I looked at the sessions they had to offer. Web seminars on topics of interest such as "How to Catch and Keep a Man", (sounds as good as catching an std from a man 'eh?) "Dating Advise" (No dates in months and none on the horizon so I guess I need the advise), "Profile Reviews" (claimed I was too picky, and that I needed to show a little desperation), and the all inclusive "Broken Hearts" (hmmmmm). I did a personality test to determine I suppose if I was datable. I finished the Compatibility Test. Was this test to determine with whom I was most compatible? Let's see....

The Compatibility Test measures five broad dimensions of personality that are each essential for building a romantic relationship. It's not the case that a person must be "high" on each of the personality characteristics to be in a relationship. Instead, what is important is how your personality interacts with the personality of your romantic partner on each dimension. Or what is commonly called "chemistry." Based on decades of empirical research in psychology, the Compatibility Test captures the five key ingredients that can determine whether or not two people have the "right" chemistry. 

With the research done and my new found knowledge, I set off to find my Mr. Right....

Mr. 100% wanted children, that little piece of info turned him into Mr. 0% fast! Mr. 99% was a loud mouthed bigot who thought I might be interested in his opinions, and a "spanking behind a bush"?!? Then there was Mr. 91% who stopped listening to me after the word "Hello?" was uttered from my mouth. He thought that photos of caskets and disgusting songs of equally poor taste of dead people and one sided conversations of autopsies were a turn on to me. (I should have added that to my profile....duh!) 

Okay, I thought, let's try a different approach to this...Mr. 27% "NASCAR Enthusiast Seeks Woman to Rev His Engine!" is what his tagline said.... So I looked further and read his profile. It went something like this.....

"Hulo im Bubba. I wan 2 luv a gurl that luvs cars and beer. Mi gurl wood wan 2 wair blak lase win she cuks, and cleens. Mi gurl wood luv lawn art. O & mi gurl wil luv mi hed... yeehaw! Mi gurl also must no ho to kownt & role penys. I hav a rite many inna jar inna udder room. U wana no abote me? Im a rite gud lokin man. I gots me a ballcap kolecshun & mosly all mi teeth. I wurk inna geeraje chanjin orl inda cars. I gits me a regalr paychek so U hav no worees I wil treet U gud!" 

Okay, now then, ahem, maybe I shot at too low on the compatibility test rating scale. So I look some more .... Mr. 89%... successful, income, shelter, no little children, wants no more children.......I'm intrigued.....I emailed him, asked why he doesn't have a photo of himself online, he adds me to his friends list and Instant Message's me, a minute after hello, he offers me to view his webcam. Interesting I think as I accept his invitation. The screen goes from black to focused, and what am I looking at when I finally see him..... No handsome face to put with that profile? NOOOOOOooooooo!, I see nothing but a hand, stroking it. So I watched the show, and add him to my ever increasing ignore list on my Messenger..... 

Here's a fellow, Mr. 87%... Caring, honest, funny, loving and smart.....hmmmmm He failed to mention sweet, handsome, giving and kind to his list. He was those things as well. Would make any woman happy....if they didn't mind a man who can't drive, who for whatever circumstances lives with mom, and lives quite a distance away .... (didn't I mention I want a fellow who lives NEARBY?) I gotta admit, after two dates I knew it wasn't meant to be for us.

So the night I said goodbye to Mr. 87% I logged into the site I placed my ad on and politely deleted it. I have come to the conclusion that Mr. Right doesn't own a computer. 

I'm off to the store now, I'm stocking up on batteries ... C'est la vie.

and I am smiling....

I am at the point in my life that, yeah, a man might be interesting to share a life with, but I'm really not searching like I was even few years back. Jimmy tells me all the time, he says, "You will meet him, and you'll know he's the one." I've just got to be at the meeting point. I told Scott that love just isn't in the cards for me, the love of that one special man that is. It might be true, and I'm really okay with that.

Ok, gonna drink coffee and surf the web a while. 

I talked to my sweet, silly girl Becca today. She was crafting cute luminaries for the summer holidays. They turned out really pretty. She chose red and blue for Memorial day and the 4th of July so she can have them out for awhile. 

I talked to Scott, seems like Jaisa got exposed to the coronavirus and had to get tested. It took 4 days but the test came back negative. Poor Lulu how scary to think she was exposed and could be carrying the virus to her whole family. She met everyone for her birthday, her grammy and grampy and her dad and her little sister. How frightening for her and Scott. 

Rich came by today to take a look at the sewer pipe and see what needs to be done. I called the plumber to have him talk to Rich and let him know what he's up against. Rich is coming back tomorrow. I'm going to head out to Michael's to take a shower tomorrow, I can't take the smell of me anymore. 

I made coney dogs for dinner tonight. I wanted slaw dogs but forgot the slaw and smeared mustard on the dogs before I remembered. They were good enough that I will have to make slaw dogs tomorrow.  The only difference is one is chili, onions, and mustard  and the other is chili, onions and cole slaw. 

I've been really tired today, bored I guess. Not a lot happening. 

It's 8:30 pm. I made me a mug of my divine apple cinnamon tea with my homemade honey/lemon/whiskey mixture in it. I'm making a list of things I need to do tomorrow. I hafta call the ORS about working all month instead of till the 15th. I hafta go to the Wal-Mart and get money Becca owes. I have to put it in the bank so I can pay my house bill. I hafta go to the Dollar Tree for a Thank You card wrapping paper and ribbon for Kelly's appreciation gifts from Geneva and me. At the end of my errands I need to wind up at Mikes to take a shower. He's got some moving boxes for me too, and I want to give him a more comfortable face mask, his is aggravating him. 

37,778 cases of Covid-19 in Michigan today 3,315 deaths. Finally a day under triple digit new deaths; 31 Michiganders perished due to the coronavirus since yesterday. 113 Cases in Hillsdale County with 14 deaths. 

April 27, 2020 Today is Monday, April 27, 2020, and we are in the midst of a global pandemic.

 The news tells me that just under 3 million people have confirmed diagnoses of the COVID 19 virus worldwide, with more than 206 thousand deaths. However, it's hard to know just how accurate that number is. Many people have died without being tested and many people have probably had it without being tested.

• I am at 34 days of social isolation.

• Governor Whitmer’s stay at home order is in effect until May 15th.

• Gas is $1.19 for regular.

• Schools have been closed since mid-March and the school year was officially ended on April 2nd.

• There are lines/tapes inside the stores to keep people 6 feet apart. And stores are limiting the number of individuals allowed into a store at any given time. Many people are honoring this, but not all.

• Bars and restaurants are open only for home delivery & pick-up. Curbside pickup is available for large and small businesses in some hope of keeping them going.

• Parks, beaches, and walk-in places are not accessible to the public. Some trails have, including at the Sleeping Bear National Park, have been closed as well.

• All sports competitions have been canceled. There is not major league football, baseball, hockey, basketball, none of it matters now. 

• All festivals and entertainment events, including the National Cherry Festival, have been canceled. Any type of gathering of more than 10 people, even with 6 ft. distancing is not allowed.

• Weddings, funerals, family celebrations, and birthdays have been canceled due to the restrictions on gatherings.

• People are doing drive-by parades to celebrate birthdays. Proms have been canceled and graduation ceremonies won’t happen in the traditional sense.

• In most cases, young kids can only see grandparents & other extended family and friends on a screen, or through a window, if someone visits in person.

• Stores are wiping down shopping carts after someone uses one and have changed the flow of entering and exiting so people won’t get too close.

• There is still so much about the coronavirus which is unknown. It appears to be showing up with diverse symptoms (fever, cough, respiratory pressure, and even stroke and heart attack).

• Churches are closed.

• Families are using Zoom and other technologies to “see” each other.

• There has been a massive shortage of masks and gloves in hospitals.

• There are fewer ventilators than there should be.

• People are wearing masks, some places even REQUIRE that you wear them to enter. People are making their own masks for sale or donation to medical facilities! In some states, you can be cited if not wearing a mask in public (going to the grocery store, walking along the street, Michigan is required to wear one everywhere now).

• Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, antibacterial wipes, and anything Lysol or Clorox is in short supply and limited per person.

• Stores are closing early to disinfect everything. (24-hour stores are even closing by 8:30 pm.) Home improvement stores are busier than ever as people find projects to keep themselves busy at home.

• Store checkouts, pharmacies, and fast-food drive-thru windows have added plexiglass between employee and customer.

• You can't find isopropyl alcohol easily, and supply per person is limited.

• Australia, the USA, and Europe have closed their borders.

• No one is traveling for leisure, except for those who think this is all an infringement on human rights. Airports are empty. Tourism is in crisis.

• My house is safe.

Damn it stinks in here! Rich is out in it, poor guy, He's fixing up the pipes and doing whatever needs doing outside to fix the sewer. 

I got most my list done. I have to go to Mikes yet but that's not until 5 or so. I need a shower badly! 

I took a thirty five minute hot shower! It felt so good! We went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner, or I should say we curbsided it. I had a Blue Buffalo, blue cheese burger. Yummy. We watched Buddy vs Duff that Mike recorded and we watched the whole thing, but it didn't record the ending, so we didn't know who won. I hadta Google it. I got home about 11:30, It's midnight now and I'm heading to bed. 

38210 cases of coronavirus in Michigan, 3407 deaths. Definitely fewer than yesterday. Half as many as last week.

April 28, 2020 I hadta run the garbage out real quick this morning because I got home too late last night to do it. I slept till 9, never woke up in the night, slept straight through! I went to the firebarn yesterday, they were giving out free fresh produce, and anytime its free I'll be there! I got tomatoes and a few other items. 

I hafta go to work at for 12:30 today. I'll leave here about noon to get there on time. I need to remember to take in my laptop.

It's 9:30 and Rich is here with his Kubota to dig, He's going to replace the entire pipe because it seems to be a easier route than just fixing the break or whatever occurred. I don't know a thing about this stuff. I just know that I thank God for Rich and his knowledge! 

I got home and Rich was gone; I'm left with not knowing what he did. I'm assuming I'll see him tomorrow. 

I went to Bishop and got my envelopes to mail out and got them stickered and marked with the addresses. Then I went to Lincoln and made all the copies I needed for my families. I made one for everyone since it has a "Flat Teacher" in it along with some books. The flat teacher looks just like me and I totally stole the idea from Susan. I sent it out with the kids packet and instructions to take a photo of doing something fun together.    

I came home and had some late lunch at 3:30 and bought KFC. They have a Peach Mountain Dew there that I love.  I ate, got tired and laid down at 5:00. I should have fought the sleepiness because I slept till 8:30 tonight. I got up and talked to Becky and Mike called and we talked for a while. I been downloading pictures and getting them ready for the video. I need a dozen more photos before I can put it together. 

April 29, 2020 Up at 8 this morning. Rich cam at 9 and moved the fridge and the stove out so he could cut a hole in the floor and get to the pipe he needs to so that he can fix it. There was about 20 years of accumulation under the appliances. Eugene's cat toys were under there and he hasn't been here in 10 years. Maybe they were Teddy's, but still that's 4 years. Jeez. I always said I was not housekeeper.  There's the proof. 

Rich has a huge area cut out of the floor, his pump died and he's bailing water with a bucket now. I sure hope he finds the break where he's looking. 

Lee wants me to take some pictures of items and put them on the web. I have to run over there tomorrow and pick them up. 

I made my schools video and finished it tonight. I turned out loverly! Well, I'm putting the cap on this day.         

Michigan cases of corona virus 40,399 with 3,670 deaths. Hillsdale County has 121 cases and 17 deaths due to Coronavirus as of today. This pandemic only has 1,032,152 confirmed cases in the nation and 54,890 deaths in the nation total. Last year the flu season came and went like it does every year. People talked about it, hope and prayed they didn't catch it and vaccinated themselves against it. Last year CDC estimates that 35.5 million people got sick with influenza, and there were 34,200 deaths from influenza in one season. 1 million coronavirus = pandemic, 35.5 million flu = life as usual. Granted more people die with the coronavirus, but I'm starting to believe that politics put us in a pandemic. Gas cost is holding at $1.19. 

April 30, 2020 Up at 3:30 today. Just sitting here. I want to go back to when bodily functions aren't well orchestrated events. I want my toilet back. Dollar General has their bathroom available to the public now, I had to run down there before 8:00 pm when they close. Crazy how you miss things when they are gone. I was going to write things of luxury, but in America, a toilet is a necessity. I'd get arrested if I peed outdoors. I'm just really grateful for Rich and his ability. What looked like a hodgepodge mess to me, well, he read it like it was a soliloquy. He just looked at the jumble of pipes and said, oh ok. This one is for that and here's this one. And finally, after hours of bailing and digging he said, there, right there is the break. 

I bought a rug latching kit to occupy my time. I'm going to get it out and start it today. It's a half round rug of a daisy, for my sweet Daisy's room. 

Laid back down and got up at 8:30. Better, Rich is unloading his things from his truck right now, I hear him out on the porch. Hopefully today is the day! Toilet day! I won't get my hopes up though. 

I'm going to drink my second cuppa and do pretty much nothing today. I'm not feeling well, still coughing up gobs of phlegm. I am going to call the doctor. The taste and look of it has changed and I'm have issues breathing last night, just huffing and puffing, but worrisome. 

I called the doctor and she prescribed me some antibiotics, steroids and a cough pill. Hopefully it will kick it outta me. I went to the drug store to pick up the drugs and swung by Lee's to get some Glow Fobs he wanted photographed. So I brought them home and photographed them.  He said it was just what he wanted. I did 4 fobs and 3 other thing plus 2 of the glow sticks that slide inside it. 

Rich did what he could today. I need to call the plumber - yeah the $208.00 guy and get him back here to auger the line again on MONDAY! It's THURSDAY. Rich won't be able to put it together till TUEDAY! That's 5 more days without a toilet, or a shower. 

Michigan has 41,379 cases of Covid 19 today and 3,789 deaths. Gas has jumped up to $1.39 a gallon overnight. Hillsdale is holding at 121cases and 17 deaths. 

May 1, 2020 Up at midnight. It's 1:45 and I took a xantax to help me go back to sleep. Been reading on how the Governor has usurped the republicans power to vote and stepped up to extend the State of Emergency till May 28th. The republicans didn't much appreciate the Governor's stance on the matter, I reckon, but ole Gretchen pulled a law from the books and seized her power. She charges onward to grace and victory, or to her ruin and dismay, but by golly she charges! 

"Whitmer used one executive order to terminate Michigan's current state of emergency, which was set to expire Thursday night, and cited two emergency powers laws, one from 1945 and another from 1976, as the legal basis for unilaterally extending the state of emergency. Whitmer indicated she will continually evaluate the need for both executive orders and will "terminate the states of emergency and disaster if the threat or danger has passed."

The state of emergency gives Whitmer the authority to issue executive orders related to coronavirus, such as a stay-at-home order which is in effect until May 15. On Thursday night, Whitmer also signed an executive order keeping bars, gyms, casinos and theaters closed and only allowing restaurants to do delivery or takeout service through May 28."

Much Later - It's 12:30I got a letter in my email designating me as an essential worker. It's from Kris Jenkins our superintendant, it says, " Date: March 24, 2020

To: BISD Employee

From: Kris Jenkins, Superintendent

Re: Designation of Performing Necessary Governmental Activities

To Whom It May Concern:

Pursuant to Executive Order 2020-21, issued by Governor Gretchen Whitmer restricting travel in the State of Michigan, the staff member in possession of this letter has been designated as performing necessary government activities as  described in paragraph 6 of the executive order. The person in possession of this letter should be permitted to travel to and from work and in the course of their employment.

Kris Jenkins

Superintendent, Branch Intermediate School District

Cool. That opens me up to a lot of different State of Emergency help that is out there if I need it. 

It's been a do nothing kind of day. I didn't get a text from the Rite Aid saying my inhaler is ready, so I didn't go to Lee's to drop off the baggie of product he gave me to photograph along with the thumb-drive of the photos. I didn't go to the Post Office or do anything at all. What I did do is laid on the couch and took a nap, and watched the television. That's all I did after I ate breakfast at noon time. That's my plan for the rest of the evening too. I'll have supper and do nothing for the rest of the evening. 

My director Cindy Rowe gave me a really nice compliment in an email today. She wrote, " Tammy, I just saw your YouTube Video!  Absolutely amazing! I did not know that you did this, Lynn shared it with me. Thank you for always thinking of our children and families, you truly are the face of Head Start!! Cindy :)". I'll take it! 

I was sitting here thinking of my favorite piece I ever wrote. It has to be the piece about going up north with my children, expecting them to see the same up north that I loved and adored as a child. 

It Wasn’t Supposed To Be Like This

Tammy Butcher 7/1999

I wanted to take my children along the route to my grandma’s house.

Twisting and turning along Lake Huron.

I haven’t taken this trip in well over twenty years.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

The store in Standish is gone, as if it was never there.

Where can we stop and buy pickled bologna, Colby cheese, and Ritz crackers?

Who sells grape Nehi or giant dill pickles out of wooden barrels to the tourists now?

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

The beautiful blue handrails that marched along Main Street in downtown Oscoda are gone.

Now it looks like every other small, downtown area, very plain, very generic.

How can my children daydream as we drive through, of ghost conversations held along the weather worn blue handrails.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Paul Bunyon is fenced in and gated now.

A “For Sale by Owner” sign hangs on a rusty wire that blocks its entrance.

Who can market the memories made of children, scampering up, up, up, to the very top of Lookout Tower where you could see forever?

My children will never see forever across the back of Babe the Blue Ox.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

What was called Domkey Zoo is now called Dinosaur Gardens.

The paint that once adorned this mysterious adventureland is peeling, mottled, sun-dryed and unkempt.

The statue of Jesus holding the whole world in His hands has corroded, leaving a hideous sneer on His face.

How can I explain to my children how this statue once engulfed my spirit and allowed me to feel divine in its presence?

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

The ice cream store that only sold frozen custard with chunks of real frozen cream now sells regular Dairy Queen wares.

My children will never know the extraordinary experience of frozen custard melting on their tongues. 

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

 

The Wal-Mart and K-Mart, Wendy’s, Burger King, all the conveniences of life fill the land that we tromped over as youngsters.

We looked for the newest adventure to fill the day.

We found the newest treasure to fill our imaginations.

How much imagination will my children take home from McDonald’s?

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

The grinding stones are gone off the beach, and a grassy park replaces the mountain of discarded stones.

How can I show my children how to balance on a huge round whetstone, when the Grindstone Mountain cleared out long ago?

Now my children get to walk along the beach on a straight, smooth sidewalk.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Grandma doesn’t live here anymore.

Now she lives down the street, behind a set of wrought iron gates, a headstone marks her address.

The children never knew her.

Grandma passed on when last I made this trip. 

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

From the backseat, on our way home, I hear giggles and whispers from my children.

“Wasn’t the Bridge awesome?”

“Did you see the seagulls eating out of our hands?”

“I never saw such a beautiful sunset in all my life.”

“Swimming in Lake Huron at mid-night, can you believe it!”

“I loved eating that pastie thing!”

“No, skipping stones in the moonlight was the best!”

“No way, going to that Mystery Spot was the best!”

On and on the conversation flew between them.

As we stopped at a brand new Arby’s restaurant to eat roast beef sandwiches for dinner, my children asked,

“Can we do this again next year, huh, can we?”

And I thought, “Yes, it was supposed to be just like this.”

I think I'll make an omelet for dinner tonight. Truly a favored comfort food. 

It's 10:00 I went out front and swept the walk. The lawnmower man came today and the walk was grassy so I swept it up. Lawd, the grass needed mowing. I think the neighbor mowed three times already. The governor just relaxed the landscaping companies to go back to work just this week, so mine finally got mowed. 

I talked to Mike tonight, he always makes me laugh and smile. He's a good guy, I wish I knew my feelings for him. He's got an easy kinda of friendship and I like being around him. I'm just happy to leave things as they are right now. 

I ate a bowl of strawberry rice krispies for a midnight (10:30) snack. I'm gonna go to bed by 11:00 tonight, even though I have nothing to get up for tomorrow. My bathtub needs cleaning out, now that I know the sewer isn't going to back up into the tub again. I'll do that tomorrow. I also need to fix the washing machine with its new hoses and hose splitter thingy that makes it work right. 

Corona virus in Michigan today are at 42,356 deaths are at 3,866. Gas cost is $1.39.

May 2, 2020 I woke up at 3:30 and was up for an hour and a half, went back to bed and am up at 9:30. Having coffee and got a text from Jodi Hollingsworth. She wants me to do a Cap and Gown photo shoot for her Beka. Beka was preschool student of mine in Quincy 14 years ago. I had her at age two. She turned three during her first year at school. Now I get to photograph her graduation. I've photographed Teagan Giedel's baby and I had her some 23 years ago. Time marches on . . .  

I had to go back to the drug store in Coldwater and pick up my inhaler and swung by Lee's to drop off the product and pick up one color he forgot to put in the bag. I also stopped at Arby's For a Sweet Brown Sugar Bacon BLT. It was as good as it sounds, I got a diet and a cookie too. They have these salted caramel chocolate chip cookies that are to die for. I came home and ate lunch, took my pills and laid down for a nappy nap. I slept till 2ish and photographed the aluminum Glow Fob. I have been working on the web since then. 

I have to package up a lap top that I sold on eBay. It's going to be a nightmare to pack up. The lady lives in California and paid $44.00 to ship it to her. Good Lawd, that's an amazing amount. I have no idea what's for dinner tonight. Maybe a Meals on Wheels meal. 

I did eat a Meals on Wheels meal, it was ok. It was a crusted pork loin slice, buttered peas, and buttered red dill potatoes, with applesauce. Packaging the laptop was not difficult at all. I had the perfect box for it. 

When I went to the post office today I got a gift from my Sisterhood Blessings Group. It's an Easter Sloth! Easter is long over, but it still thrilled me to no end that a stranger named Amber Farnsworth would buy it for me. He's going to make an appearance every Easter! 

I'm missing my Jody today something fierce. Don't know why today, but I could use a long talk and some coffee with her today. I wonder if she knows that. 

It's 11:00 PM. I made a cream cheese, ham, and green onion cheese ball I eat on Ritz crackers for a midnight snack so I could take my pills. I talked to Mike today. He had a joke to tell me.... A stuttering man went to prison, and died in there... He wasn't able to finish his sentence. Hahaha. It's about as bad as the ones I tell him. A momma, a daddy, and a baby tomato were taking a walk. The baby lags behind so daddy goes back and hits him upside the head and says, "Ketchup!" Ugh, I know, bad. 

I made me a mug of my divine apple cinnamon tea with my homemade honey/lemon/whiskey mixture in it. I'll be ready for bed in a few here. 

Today Michigan has 43,207 cases and 4,020 deaths. 

May 3, 2020 Up at 4:30. Today is the first day since the 11th of April that I didn't wake up hacking up a lung or two. I've spent hours upon hours upon hours in the mornings and at night coughing so hard I thought I broke a rib. Oh what a relief it is to know that I've kicked this virus! I guess I needed the antibiotic after all. Coffee tastes so good this morning. I'll probably head back to bed for a couple hours later on, but its peaceful right now. 

I don't know if I mentioned it, but I got an email from Cindy saying I couldn't work the extra two weeks she tagged onto the end of the year, since my retirement letter said I was done on the 15th of May and the school board approved that date. I guess there is no going against the school board. So I am officially retired on the 15th of May. I can however, work the 5 weeks in July that she has summer school added to the calendar. So long as I don't work in June at all, I can come back and earn 1/3 of my average wages throughout the year. So that will be a nice income. 

I was thinking about my Scott this morning as I was making coffee. I find it peculiar that I rarely if ever think of Chelsea. He was with her for fourteen years. She never really wound her way around my heart. I always thought her an odd duck, but Scott was happy till that last 2 or 2-1/2 years. On the other hand, I think of Jaisa, my darling Lulu all the time. We text, we talk, and she is winding her way around my heart. She calls me Tilala. I call her Lulu. Scott told her everyone calls me Tilala as a joke and when he finally told her the truth Tilala stuck. Anyway, I was thinking about Scott and praying that he is happy now, He and Jaisa are going on a year together, and it has been a turbulent year at that. The divorce, moving jobs, moving houses and moving in together. Lulu's past crept up on him and hit him blindsided. I think he finally accepts her fully with her flaws and her past, as she does him. Scott just wants to, as he says about this pandemic, "get it over with already, so I can marry Jaisa, and start having babies." He's going to be such a good daddy. 

7:43 am I ate eggs and toast, took my pills, had coffee and am ready to head back to bed for a bit. A bit turned into 1:30. I woke up an tried to fix my washing machine. I have some wd-40 on it setting for awhile while I ate lunch and took my pills. I had Slaw dogs for lunch. My mouth is still happy. I plan on washing out the tub today too. Hopefully I can get a turn on the end of the hose, it's full up of calcium and lime from the water in this house. 

I went out to the car yesterday and saw that the front yard is saturated with water. I have a feeling that when the guy Jeff "fixed" it last year where he tied into the existing pipe came loose and is now flooding my front yard. I pray this isn't the case, but I've seen it too many times living in this house. This is the third time I've seen it happening. I cried when I saw it. I really, really, really, cannot wait to be out of this house, but the water in this house is my nemesis. 

I laid down at 3:30 and slept till 6:30, another sleeping day. I think these new drugs have something to do with it. I tried twisting the nut on the hose on the washing machine again and can't get it to budge more than a quarter turn. I'll try again later. 

Buddy vs Duff is on it finale. The theme is Star Wars. It's an interesting cooking show, massive cakes shaped like the most insane things. This week it's an X Wing for Duff and the Millennium Falcon for Buddy. 

This has been another do nothing but eat and sleep day. I think it's the medicine doing it to me. 2 more days of it, and I'm coughing so much less and feeling better other than groggy and sleepy. 

I was really surprised tonight when I got a Cricut machine fully funded on Donors Choose. I'm geeked out that I got it, and right at the end of my career! 

I'll be in bed again by 11:00 tonight. 

43,754 cases of Covid 19 and 4,049 deaths today. Gas cost $1.49

May 4, 2020 Up at 4:30 this morning. Today is my brother Bruce's 63rd birthday. I laid back down at about 5:30 and slept till 11:00. I'm getting plenty of sleep lately! 

I had a good lunch from Meals on Wheels today (sigh, they just won't give up feeding me) sauerkraut and sausage on a hot dog bun, with scalloped potatoes. It was really yummy. 

So I've been waiting for Rich and the plumber to come, they are both here now. I need to show Rich the standing water in the yard but I'm afraid I'll if I do, I'm so darn discouraged with it all. Very Depressing.  Rich is going to cover a hole he dug looking for pipe on the side of the house. Very Depressing hearing them talk about it, I hear murmurings and "there's something there". So my sewer is collapsed. My water pipe is broken. I told Rich and I cried, but I sucked it up. Depressing. Very. It cost $258.00 to camera where the collapse was, and it turned out to be in the exact spot Rich though it would be. EXACT SPOT. Heel mark there and everything. Thank goodness I had the money on hand, I would have been embarrassed if I didn't. Ironically it was the money to pay my water bill.  

I cut some twigs and branches today to be able to get my wagon wheels out. I put them on FaceBook for $125 for the pair, and I put the old one wheel cultivator on for sale for $75.00 Someone came back and offered me $20 on the wheels. Asshole. 43,801 cases of Covid 19 and 4,053 deaths today. Gas cost $1.49

May 5, 2020 I got up at 2:30 and pottied and fell back to sleep till 7:30. No coughing through the night. I called the doctor to let her know that I was feeling better and had had two coughless nights in a row. 

Rich got here about 9:30 and started digging. He found one spot  that is broken, but he fears there are more areas broken, so he's following the path of the sewer digging it out as he goes. I love how kind hearted he is. I always knew he was a good man from the way he treated my parents. I tried to pay for his busted pump yesterday but he absolutely refused to let me pay for it. 

I sold my one wheeled cultivator that I got from Mike's grandma's trash years and years ago. I got $65.00 for it and could have gotten more if I wanted it, but I was happy at $65.00 and so were they. Now if the wagon wheels would go that would be keen. I have $125.00 on them. I got them for free years ago too. Next is my windmill, but I might leave that here, I don't know. 

Rich wants me to call Jeff back and have him come out and fix the watermain break where it came apart. The problem I'm having with that is that Jeff fucked things up mightily. He not only not knew how to "Fix" the watermain, or it wouldn't have come apart, he also tore the shit out of my sewer when he was digging up the trench to lay the new water line. Why would I want someone no matter how little it cost me, to come to my home and throw fuckery around like confetti again. 

I got top 10 in a local photo contest! It was for Lake Access Magazine. I put a photo in months ago and found out today that I was chosen one of the top 10 finalists. Woot! Woot! 

It's 4:30 and Rich is still at it. 

It's 6:30 and Rich is still at it. 

Rich left about 7ish, it looks like he got everything dug out, maybe pipes tomorrow? Maybe so, maybe no. 

I made a steak for dinner and put all my phone calls I made yesterday into my work computer. Document everything! It's 9:30 and I'm ready for bed. 

44,397 Cases of covid 19 today and 4,179 deaths today in Michigan. Gas is at $1.49

May 6, 2020 

Up at 8! Wow I slept through the night!! Had coffee, going in for a second cup now.  I called the insurance company this morning. The adjuster was just out in July of last year, I swear if it's not one thing it's another. Eventually they are going to cut me off this insurance, if things continue in this way. A claim a year is what I average. 

Prettiest sight I've seen in a long while is Rich pulling up in his truck which was loaded down with pipes, and piping. It's been a long time coming. This all started on April 21, its May 6.  15 days of it so far. I can see the end in sight!!! I'll have water and sewer again!!!!

 

 

He's out there now laying the digging now to lay the pipe, instead of digging to expose the pipe and figure out where the breaks are. He found them all, they stopped where that jerkwad of a handyman last year stopped digging. Crazy stuff this water main, sewer main, but I know that Rich will do it correctly. 

I went over to Mikes to have dinner and a shower. We ate Jake's Smokehouse Pulled Pork Sandwiches. I had a good time eating good food and good company. 45,054 cases of corona virus and 4250 deaths in Michigan today. Gas at $1.59

May 7, 2020 So I woke up at 10:00 today Rich was here making progress! I had a meeting with my team on the computer today at 1:00, last time I'll get together with them. Then The EUREKA moment! Rich hooked up the toilet, tub and bathroom sink to the sewer system! I flushed the toilet and ran the tub and sink water and it all did what it was supposed to do. The picture is the new sewer pipe coming into the house. It was a glorious moment! I cleaned and sanitized the toilet and scrubbed down the tub and have bleach water sitting in it right now to sanitize it. The sewer had all backed up into the bathtub and made an ungodly mess. I had to scrape poop off the tub with a spatula and then used a scrubber and Mr. Clean, then a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and now soaking in bleach water. The sewage ate through the enamel in the tub. I'll need to tell the insurance adjuster that bit of news. 

I finally paired my remote to my Firestick after 100 tries and it finally took. I was able to start playing my show that I've been watching. It's Season Five of Outlander. I love this show. Scott made my Firestick abled so I can watch it. 

I made Cornbread Chili for dinner. It was pretty good, but the cornbread was a little raw in the very middle, it could have cooked another 10 minutes. 

I watched three hours of Outlander.... more this weekend. 

Tomorrow I have a photo shoot at 11:00, an online IEP at noon thirty, and then I need to pack up my room and get the Pizza Grow Kits out of the shed to get them ready to go home, I also need to go to Bishop and pick up my Go Home Bags! and get everything put together, so much to do over the weekend..... I made me a mug of my divine apple cinnamon tea without  my homemade honey/lemon/whiskey mixture in it, it doesn't taste as divine. Dateline is on, I'll peek at that a little bit and then I'll be ready for bed in a few here. 

45,646 cases of corona virus and 4,343 deaths in Michigan today.

May 8, 2020 -  Up at 1:30.  I couldn't  go back to sleep. I been looking  at my documents and I swear I see a book in there. I'm going to find it when I am retired. Which starts in 7 days. 

I have a sappy assed piece I love called the Iris. It's about my grandma, my mom, me, my daughter and her daughter growing up loving the same flower. 

The Iris

Mother’s hands tended flowers

When they were oh, so very small,

Grandma’s hands would guide her,

Showing her flowers,

Loving them all.

Out of Grandma’s garden grew,

A most amazing sight,

A flower proud and beautiful,

Of  pure, angelic white. 

It was this snow-white flower,

That Grandma loved the best,

She tended this flower most graciously,

No one would ever guess,

That in this unsung flower,

Many would recall,

A shared and joyous moment,

Watching spring nod off to fall.

Years went by and seasons died,

At heaven's gate a daughter cried,

To see her mother pass inside.

Yet, a gift was given, 

And it was to be identified in...

My hands that tended flowers

When they were oh, so very small

Mother’s hands would guide me,

Showing me flowers

Loving them all.

But, set apart from all the rest,

Was the flower Mother loved the best.

She tended this flower most affectionately,

Guided by love, she might confess.

Secret hands help tend this flower,

Hands from heaven above,

Unknowingly, together the flower

Grows with love.

Years went by and seasons died,

At heaven's gate a daughter cried,

To see her mother pass inside.

Yet, a gift was given, 

And it was to be identified in...

The hands that now tend flowers,

They are oh, so very small,

My loving hands guide her,

Showing her flowers,

Loving them all.

Together, we grow flowers,

With eagerness and zest,

But in a special corner grows,

The one I love the best.

It is this special flower,

My daughter will come to know,

As a friend, close and dear,

While it flourishes and grows.

The hands that tend the flowers

Are oh, so very small,

And they are drawn to one flower,

That is the finest of them all.

It holds within its petals,

A shared love of women gone,

And whispers of secret tomorrows,

Of which will be her own.

She holds this majestic flower,

Up to the heavens above,

And star lit eyes gaze down upon her,

 

Filled with wonder,

Filled with love.

Years will slip by, and seasons will die,

At heaven's gate a daughter will cry,

To see a mother pass inside,

But, a gift will be given, 

And it will be identified in....

The hands that tend the flowers.

I have tried to rework and tweak, rewrite and just gave up. It is poorly written, sappy as they come, but I love it. 

I saw George the other day. George of "I don't give no second chances". I wondered why I wanted a second chance with him. He's not a successful man, he still lives with his mother, I mean NEVER moved out from her place. When he was married he moved the wife to mother's house. He aint got a pot to piss in. He was controlling and a jerk. And he has Erectile Disfunction to boot. Was I so lonely that I got desperate and saw things the way I wanted them to be, not the way they were. Hell, he don't give second chances, I don't take second chances - what was I thinking?!? 

It's 5:00 am and my mind is rambling. From Scott's, "Things are hard here" comment, makes me wonder what is hard for him, I don't want anything to be difficult for him, he deserves a peace filled easy life. To Becca's always making me laugh. I love my children so much, they simply will never know the depths of my love for them. And then there are my babygrands. "Holy My Moley", as Becca would say. Bottomless depths of love for them. Brody with his brooding manner, Cloey with her zeal for life, and my sweet, spoiled, baby Daisy. It just don't get any better than being their Yaya. It's funny how I know that when Scott has children, I'll be called Tilala, I'll take it anyway it comes. 

It's 6: 10 Am I'm going to go make some eggs and toast for breakfast. 

So I'm going off to photograph Beka Hollingsworth in her cap and gown today. I'm going to be sure to get one of her and me too. 14 years ago.... I only charged Jodi $25 today, and it surprised me that one of her friends dad wanted a CD too so I made my regular $50 fee for a photoshoot. I have to finish editing them and burn a couple CD's and get them in the mail. 

I had my IEP at work today for Malak Alkohbari, she'll be coming back to Head Start next year. She made so much growth with me this year! It's amazing what I can do with kids. 

My car is packed to the gills with my teaching stuff. I have one more carload to get out of there tomorrow and then all of my books. Holy My Moley do I have BOOKS! I'm giving a bunch to Juli Westgate and more to a first year teacher and I'll hafta haul the rest home to sell at my yard sale. 

The lady came by to pay me for my theme boxes from work. I coulda gotten so much more for them, but I told her $50 take all of them. So I got that. 

No clue what dinner is going to be tonight, maybe hotdogs, that sounds rather good actually. 

So hot dogs it was. 

I edited the rest of the photos and then emptied my car of stuff and boxes, I have one more full carload left at school. 

46, 326 cases of Coronavirus  and 4,393 deaths in Michigan. Gas is $1.69

May 9, 2020 I can't believe it, but I slept through the night! I never woke up to go potty or anything!! I slept till 10:30 in the morning! 12 straight hours of sleep. Man I bet my body needed that. 

I went into work to sort through the hundreds of books I own, and Susan said, "Can I come see you?" I talked to Juli and had offered her to go through the books with me to see what she wanted. Of course this is breaking the Covid 19 rules set in place by the ISD, as we are to work alone in the room with absolutely no visitors. We are to allow for social distancing and wear protective face gear at all times while in the building. So there we were sorting through the myriad of books when who walks in, my supervisor. I was so busted. We were not social distancing, we were not wearing our masks. We were we instead of me. For her part Leslie didn't bat an eye, and she just chatted with us, on a Saturday. At 2:00 in the afternoon.  Monday is coming, I'm sure that wasn't the end of it. It was funny how both my friends texted me at the same time and told me to use my bad back as the excuse for having them there to help me. 

I came home and ate dinner of a frozen meal and set about sorting the books to photograph them and put them online to sell. Some sets went onto eBay, while others are going to be put on Facebook tomorrow. It's 2:00 and I haven't been up this late in I don't know how long. 

May 10, 2020 Mother's Day. I am up at 5:30. Three and a half hours sleep is all my body wanted, until later when I fall over because I'm so droopy. I'm going to get the children's books online this morning. I have 7 sets of used books each with 50 books in them for $25 each set, and 3 sets of new books with 60 in each box for $50 each set. Juli and Susan think I can get that much for them so I will try. I'm looking forward to hearing from my children today. Becca wants my shopping list this week. It's a short list for sure. She's such a good daughter taking care of me. I haven't stepped foot into the Wal-Mart or any other store except the Dollar General since I took sick.

So I put the books online at 7:30 and by 8:00 they were all sold to one woman. She also bought my music and stacking dolls, and a little musical instrument. $485.00 total. Plus I'm sold my house and barn for $25 and my Fridge Magnet set for $20. I been sitting online all day selling stuff, now I have to work for school. 

I made spaghetti and garlic breadsticks for dinner. I haven't had homemade spaghetti in a long time. I have plenty for tomorrow and Tuesday too. 

47,138 cases of Covid 19 and 4,551 deaths in Michigan

May 11, 2020 Up at 9 this morning. I got up in the night to potty and get a drink, but went straight back to bed. Still coughing, but the doc said it might take 6 to 8 weeks to be rid of it altogether. At least I'm not coughing like I was before, and no more night coughing. I'll take it. 

I'm going in to work today to put together the children's end of the year gifts and  "Learn at Home" bags. There's a lot to sort out today. Tomorrow the parents will come and pick them up. 

Ate my Meals on Wheels lunch this afternoon. I got a Blessing from a sister in my Sisterhood Blessings group. Ima save it for Becky for Christmas. She'll love it. 

 

Although it would look good in my retro kitchen too. Maybe I'll keep it for myself. I also got a box of cookies and a squishy making kit for Cloey. I have to go get ready for work. 

Dammit my back hurts! I went to work and got all the kids stuff ready for tomorrow. I bent, twisted, kneeled, and did all the things that my back hates me to do. I took some Tylenol. I hope it settles down. I brought another box of books home and sold it while in the classroom. Jeez those babies sell! I brought home my babies, and my treasure box. I brought home the painting that has been hanging in my room for 34 years. "Slay the Dragon". I don't know what I'm going to do with it now, maybe sell it. Tomorrow I get to see the parents. 

47, 552 cases of Coronavirus and 4,584 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is $1.89

 

May 12, 2020

Up at 6 this morning. Had two cups of coffee. I wrote a last letter to my parents at school. I ate spaghetti for breakfast this morning. I played Words with Friends, and Yahtzee online. I'm waiting for Rich to come and finish up. He said he'd be here today, he usually comes about 9:30. 

This will be my last day going into the center as a teacher. I have to remember to turn in my keys today. Not sure how I'm feeling about that. I forgot to turn my keys in. I was glad to leave tonight. I didn't get out of there till 6:30 and by then I had worked my back into a knot. Came home and took some Tylenol again. I need to make an appointment with the pain doctor. I made Beka's Open House Invite, It's her style, not mine, but she loved it so that's all that mattered.

I at Dairy Queen for dinner tonight, I was too hungry to wait till I got home.  I ate chicken strips and gravy driving home tonight. Sitting here drinking diet root beer contemplating what I want to do right now.  I'm sleepy so bed time will be early tonight. 

It's 10:00 I'm Out! 

48,021 Cases of corona virus and 4,674 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas cost $1.79

May 13, 2020

I had a good day, slept through the night and got up at 9. I waited for a couple people to come over and pick up the stuff they bought on facebook. Then I went to pick up the babygrands. I think they grew 6 inches since I saw them last! Becca bought me groceries again and spent $100.00 on them wow! I barely had room for it all. She gave me my mother's day gifts and dang did that girl spoil me! She got me a pink rug and flamingo stuff for my bathroom, she made me a cute little caddy with towels and a hot pad in it, she got me a mason jar wax warmer and wax to go with it. The flamingos are so stinking cute! I stopped on the way at a yard sale and bought a set of Tramontina  Cookware for $40.00! I came home and looked them up on the net and the average price my set goes for is $300.00! I bought them new in the box. Incredible deal! 

Daisy has been eating me out of house and home tonight. I stopped and bought them dinner at McDonald's like usual, and then stopped at Culver's for an ice cream scoopie. I thought that would be enough, but she ate everything in sight since she's been here. Cloey ate a pound of tomatoes and a half a bag of sunflower seeds. Good lord don't their mother feed them?? LOL Brody ate his dinner and a dum-dum. That's it. I had the last of my spaghetti for dinner. It's late and I'm gonna go cuddle up next to Daisy in my bed. I have to cuddle up next to her because she takes the whole bed! :) 

48,391 cases of Covid and 4,714 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is $1.79 in Reading today.

May 14, 2020 Up till mid-night with Cloey and up at 3:00 with Daisy. She let me doze till 6 but that was it. So I got up and got coffee. She's munching on some Lucky Charms and drinking milk. Brody's munching his Lucky Charms and playing his game. We are waiting for Mickey Mouse to come on Disney Jr. 

I saw on facebook a farm burning to the ground this morning. I thought it was Tim's farm and I texted him.... he didn't answer for about 15 minutes but he said it was a neighbors farm, thank goodness!

Oh my word it's time for a nappy nap! 

I have the sweetest co-workers in the world!! The whole lot of them just came all the way to Reading to give me a Drive By Retirement Party!! It was the coolest! Balloons, cards, posters and gifts, but most of all the gift of friendship and caring. (Of course I was napping and Brody came in and said, "Yaya, you want to come and see this, there are horns and everything!") What fun that was!

Had corn dogs and mac and cheese for dinner - totally a kids meal and it was as yucky as it sounds. 

Brody wanted ice cream so we ran up to the store at 8:30 to get some midnight treats. It's 9:30 and Daisy is in bed, I'm going to call my friend Mike and head to bed myself. 

Sold a couple more things from my classroom tonight. Love the money coming in! 

49,582 cases of Covid 19 and 4,787 death as of today. Gas is at $1.69 tonight. 

May 15, 2020 

Up at 1:45, a huge, noisy thunderstorm just passed through. I had to get the bucket under the leak in my bedroom. The water noises made me hafta potty. I'll go back to bed here soon. 

I did go back to bed and slept till 10:30. I feel like I've been busy every minute of the day. I took a bunch more pictures to put on facebook. I sold a couple things. I cooked for the kids, pizza and pop tonight. I'm waiting for a lady to come and pick up books. She first told me 5:30 it's after 7 now and I need to run to the store for bubble wrap to ship out the light fixtures I sold on eBay. I been chasing down Daisy's naked little butt all day, since she is going potty on my toilet she is getting naked long before she gets to the bathroom and wanting to stay in her pull up only. 

Daisy wound up getting her little butt spanked tonight, she was being such a little brat and I swatted her butt once. She cried like I took a belt to her. I broke her heart. She cried for 45 minutes and never let me touch her. She threw herself on the floor and was smacking herself in the head. I wanted to cry I felt so bad. She wound up crying her little self to sleep. Poor kid. It's time I call it a night. 

I have a sore throat again tonight. 

50,079 Cases of Covid 19 and 4,825 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is at $1.69 I'm out! 

May 16, 2020

I got up at 3 to potty, silently creeping through the house. I scared Brody to death, and he was up. Then, before I could quietly get a drink, Daisy was up. I went back to sleep and slept till 5:45 when Brody came in and told me that Daisy was naked. She had gone potty and got her pull up on and he helped her get her clothes on, but I was awake so I had some coffee. Cloey is asleep in the chair, her long coltish legs hanging over the side. I wonder when she will decide that she is too long for the chair? Probably not for a while. Daisy is happily jumping on the bed. I'm going to cater to her today, I don't want to feel like I did last night ever again. 

I'm still coughing. The doctor said it could take up to 6 weeks for it to go away. It's been 5 weeks today. I'll give it one more week and then I'm in her office. 

On the agenda today, I'm going to get my pots and pans switched around and go through my kitchen to get it ready for the yard sale. I'm gonna clean off the cupboard and get rid of any pots and pans I don't use. That's the internal plan anyway. 

I listened to a podcast of Mike Rowe talking about all the essential workers and how the 35, 000, 000 people are deemed non-essential. It's a linguistic nightmare that's going to come to a head here slowly, but surely. I saw in the paper that the Capri Drive in opened against all warning. It is deemed non-essential. My thought is this, the Capri Drive In is the livelihood of someone. Is there food and energy bills, their heat and gasoline non-essential? I don't get how people are supposed to even eek by without their livelihoods. My anxiety is talking this morning. 

My coworkers made me a video this morning. It was a montage of photos with each holding a Happy Retirement Sentiment on it. So sweet of them. 

I laid down after a lady came for bags I was selling on facebook. It was 1 and Daisy came in at 1:30 and laid down crying and with a head ache, she was out before I fell out again. I slept till 4:30 she slept till 6:30 this evening. I think it's going to be a long night tonight. It's 11:00 at night and she is happily munching on dum-dums. I made quesadillas for dinner and afterward Cloey wanted some chicherones so I made her the last of them. I need to stop by the Mexican store to get more for her. 

I talked to Becky, and texted with Susan I talked to Mike a couple times. 

50,504 Cases of corona Virus in Michigan as of today

 

May 17, 2020 I got up at 9:30. Daisy slept all night last night. Brody didn't he was up at 2:00 and stayed up all night long. He was sick tonight at home because he was so tired. 

I sold a few things today. I sold one thing to a stranger on facebook who came over and picked it up and I sold things to my girlfriends in Coldwater so I made those stops after I dropped the kids off. One of my girlfriends had my carpet cleaner so she put it in my car. It will stay there till I go to Becca's house to pick up the kids again. I don't want it and she washes her carpet all the time. I'm lucky if I vacuum once a month. I'm not a great housewife. 

I miss the kids, I had a really good time with them since Wednesday, except that Daisy was a brat. She is so spoiled. She didn't want to go home today and it took me and Brody to put her in the car after a 15 minute battle of her crying and hanging on to me she finally got in the car. She loves being with me so much, she hates going home. Maybe we can start our regular visits again and it won't be so bad for her again. I've never seen her act quite like she did today. 

I don't know if  Rich is coming tomorrow, he mentioned that he may be in Kalamazoo, but it's supposed to rain tomorrow anyway, so it'll be a bust either way. 

 I have a couple people coming to the house to pick up things tomorrow. I don't plan on going anywhere except the post office. I had some dollhouse furniture sell for $53.00 on Auction. I started the auction at $21.00. It was fun watching the bid go up and up. So, I need to send that out and send out the returning kids papers back to my supervisor. It kinda lets the teachers know about incoming kids for next year. I have half of them done, I'll finish the rest in the morning. 

51, 142 Cases of corona Virus and 4,891 deaths in Michigan as of today. I paid $1.89 a gallon for gas out by Becca today, it's $1.69 here in Reading. I was too low to wait till I got home, I would have been driving on fumes by the time I got home if I did. It's 10:30, I took my nighttime pills about a half hour ago so now I'm ready to head to bed.

May 18, 2020 

Up at 5:00 am going to go back to bed, still tired. Woke back up at 9:30 and got up for the day.  Ate Meals on  Wheels for breakfast as they came at 9:57 today. Sloppy joe and tater tots for breakfast. 

I got the rest of the Kindergarten transition sheets done and ready for the mail. I packaged up the dollhouse furniture I sold yesterday and got that ready for the mail. At the Post Office I got my mail and there were 2 cards in there. One from Becky Cazier and one from Vicki Kasperski. Becky sent me $20 and Vicki sent me a coffee card from Bigby Coffee. So sweet. 

I talked to Scott today. My poor buddy. He and Jaisa had a rip roaring fight, cops were called, it was ugly, just because tempers flared. They are good now, but I hate that it came to cops to calm them down. It's the damn whisky and beer that does it to Scott. Anytime he argues, he's been drinking. I wish to God that he'd just stop the drinking altogether. I guess Jaisa is a wildcat when she gets mad. She needs to calm down too. 

I talked with Becky today too, seems little Miss Daisy didn't want to wear clothing today. Took it off every time Becca got her dressed. She would simply take it off and run around in her pull up. Becca finally put her in a nightgown and she was okay with that.  Crazy girl...just takes to not liking clothes for the day. 

I made an omelet for dinner. I love my omelets. They are so tasty. I got super sleepy after I ate and I laid down at 5:00 "just for a little while".  Haha I got up at 8:00, but I feel like I could go back to sleep!

I tried to call Geneva but she must be a early to bed kinda gal, it is 9 at night. I have to ask her if she filled the Amazon boxes that the Pizza Grow Kits were in with the stuff from the room. Leslie is asking me about them and about the keys that I forgot to leave. Jeez. Crazy Mind! I had so much going on trying to pack up what was mine. 

I talked to Mike for an hour tonight, it's nice talking to him at the end of the day. 

51, 915 Cases of corona Virus and 4,915 deaths in Michigan as of today. Hillsdale has a total of 166 cases and 24 deaths. 

May 19, 2020 

Up at 5:00 am going to go back to bed, still tired. Woke back up at 10:00 and got up for the day. Both the people came to pick up the things I sold on Facebook.

I took Erin's Teaching Strategies Interrater Reliability test for her. She tried 10 times to pass and couldn't pass Physical or Cognitive. So I got on and took them and passed them in one try for her. I still got it! 

Leslie is coming about 4 to pick up the keys.

She forgot. I'll drop them off on Thursday, she can meet me somewhere. 

I took a nap. I slept for an hour and a half. I got up and talked to Becca. Daisy is still off clothes today, she's wearing an oversized Tee-shirt today. It's 5:30. I think I'll make another omelet for dinner tonight. 

Boring day. 

It's cloudy and rainy, wind is blowing. It's a blustery kinda day Pooh would say. 

Boring night. 

I made an omelet. I watched TV. I pictured, listed and sold a couple things on Facebook. I drank a coke. I'm going to talk to Mike here in a bit. Then I'm going to go to bed. YAWN on this boring day. 

52,350 Cases of corona Virus and 5,017 deaths in Michigan as of today

May 20, 2020

Up at 1:00. I hate nights like this because I'm up, up. I did get to go back to sleep at 6:00. I packaged up a thing I sold on eBay and took it to the post office. I had my Scholastic order that I mailed to 111 Cavell, instead of 111 E Silver St. I had my PO Box 504 on there and the package took 5 weeks to find me, but it did. Then here comes the UPS man with the Scholastic box that was replacing the one that took 5 weeks to get to me. So now I have 60 copies of Llama, Llama Red Pajamas. I guess I could sell them. 

Mike came over about 2:45 and helped me straighten up my living room and pots and pans dry sink. I got a lot for my yard sale now. I was only able to do it with Michael's help. Michael brought me a Venti Latte with 4 Equal from Starbucks. He didn't have to pay for it, because the lady in front of him did. Pay it forward. It hit the spot! I didn't know there was a spot to hit today, but that hit it! 

We had Lone Ranger Burgers and fries for dinner. They are the best burgers and fries around. We watched Dateline while we ate. That meal was so filling and so good! 

We started watching the much acclaimed movie Capone, but it was just too weird, so we turned it to Scoob! which Michael wanted to see. Much better! At least it has a plot I can follow. 

Getting tired, it's ten o'clock now, prolly watch another movie and then head to bed.  

53,009 Cases of corona Virus and 5,060 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

May 21, 2020 I slept all night till 9:00! Got up surfed the web while I had my coffee. I have a lot of running around to do. I have to go to town and turn in my keys, drop off Susan bracelets she bought from me. Then me and Mike are heading to lunch somewhere. But for right now I'm watching Let's Make a Deal and drinking a second cup of coffee. 

We did run around, I dropped off the books, BATA bus tickets, keys, and book bag to Leslie and dropped of the bracelets with Susan and then we went to Short's Root Beer Stand. After that we stopped at the Mexican Market to get some cicerones for Cloey. The we took a drive through Jonesville and Hillsdale and took the long way home from Coldwater. I went to the Subway here in town and dropped of the puzzles some woman bought, she said to take them to her mom who works there,  (who was a good sport about it, because her daughter failed to mention it to her) so I did. That was another $10 in the kitty, and Susan's $12 in the kitty, not bad. 

After Mike left I saw I had a bid on my broken chromebook for $200. I was thrilled about that! Then I looked in my e-mail and saw that I had gotten the Kids Keep Learning voucher from DonorsChoose! It's a $1000 voucher to spend on your kids to keep them learning over the summer! Yeah! So I shopped till midnight, and the voucher wouldn't work, so I went to bed..,

53,500 Cases of corona Virus and 5,129 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

May 22, 2020

...all I could dream about was the voucher not working. I got up at 5 to potty and hopped back on to Amazon and got on customer chat. He said I have a lot of ineligible things in my cart. So I deleted the cart, reshopped and it worked. The stuff is on its way! I took a xanax cuz by then my nerves were shot, and I went back to bed and slept until 11:00.  I was wiped out! I got up and talked to Jimmy for a while, while I drank my coffee. That's what I'm doing now, finishing my coffee. I have to eat and take my pills. I see that Meals on Wheels dropped off  two meals today. So I'll have one of them, and take my pills. 

I'm not too sure what's on the agenda today.  A nap was on the agenda. I fell off after I ate and woke up at 3:30. The lawnmower man woke me up. I gave him $60 for last week and this week. 

I'm going to put my gallery pictures on eBay today.  Then if I get them all on I'll work on Mike's records. 

I got all my photos on eBay, I did not get Mike's records started, I went into the bedroom for something and laid on the bed and fell sound asleep till 7:30. I slept a lot today. Here it is 10 at night and I'm wide awake. Crazy. I need to make a box to ship out the ChromeBook. I want to put it out in the morning. I have a one o'clock photoshoot with Tina's family tomorrow. It will be a fun shoot. 

I called Mike to see what he's up to. He's washing dishes. 

53,913 Cases of corona Virus and 5,158 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

May 23, 2020

Feeling a little anxious this morning. I have no idea why. I'm going over to Tina's daughter's house to do the photo shoot at 1:00. I got at 9:00 up after sleeping the whole night. I sold some books on facebook, I have to ship them out. I'm going to run to the post office here in a minute or two, see if I have anything interesting. I should be getting my Mother's Day gift from Scott and Lulu today. 

Well nothing came in the mail from Scott and Lulu, the Amazon truck hasn't been there today so that was a bust, I did get two retirement cards in the mail though. that was sweet. On from Jill and one from our superintendant Kris Jenkins. 

I took a little nap and got ready to go for 12:30. The Rodriguez family was so much fun! I hope I have a lot of great shots for them, I haven't looked yet, but I'm sure I have, I usually do pretty well taking pictures. Had bologna and a Swiss Cake roll for lunch. Sitting here sipping my sugarfree sweet tea and getting ready to edit some photos! It's my favorite part of a photoshoot. 

The pictures turned out so darling. Tina loved them! She's coming tomorrow to get the USB with all the photos on it. I signed up on a site on facebook tonight that is similar to "Sisterhood Blessings" on it Wine, Snack or Coffee Attack. it's called "It's Wine O'clock Somewhere" and people put snack attacks on your porch and dash away. 

Mike is going to call me in a little while. Then I have to package up the packages I have to get out on Monday. I have the books from FaceBook, The Chromebook, and the John Denver audio books I sold on eBay. 

 

54,365 cases of Covid 19 and 5,223 deaths in Michigan as of today.

MaY 24, 2020 Up at 8:00 I slept through the night! I had a dream about Renate Breneke. She and I were teaching in a room together and she was "keeping an eye on me" for management. I asked her why and don't remember the rest, I remember the feeling though, it felt like a nightmare. 

Tina came over at noon thirty to pick up the USB with all her photos on it. I sat out on the swing for awhile. I'll miss the swing when I move. Then I came in and started putting records on Mike's eBay to help him out. I think I might get through the photoed ones, he is so picky, too picky if you ask me, editing 12 pictures for a $5.00 sale. Adding song #'s I understand, some people might look up songs that way, but 12 photos?!? Come on now. I told him I'd do it so I am doing it his way. 

I had a chef's salad for lunch. It hit the spot. For dinner I'm having fried zucchini and summer squash mmmmmmmm. 

 

My feet are swelling. I took a couple Lasik, I gotta go prop up my feet for awhile. I'll get back to Mike's records in a bit. It's 8:30 now. I put 22 record ads on for Mike today. I had to lay down with my feet up for an hour to help my poor swollen feet. I'll elevate them when I go to bed too, to see if it helps. The Lasik is working, it's pulling water off my feet and I'm peeing often. 

I'm watching My 600 Pound Life. It's so sad. Three siblings weighing 800, 600 and 500 pounds, and what they go through to try and lose weight. It's midnight, the show just ended, it was a 2 part two hour each episode. I'm tired. 

54,365 Cases of Covid-19 and 5,223 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is up to $1.89

May 25, 2020 Memorial Day. 

I got up at 9:30. Slept through the night, only got up to potty in the night and went right back to sleep! Yay I love these nights that I sleep all the way through the night. I dreamt of my mom last night, we she was working in a diner, and I was picking her up in her Cadillac. I was turning men's heads...It was a nice dream. 

I saw in the news that Elizabeth Stewart got arrested for Methamphetamines. Damn Shame!

Mike invited me to his mom's place for a barbeque today. I don't know if I want to go or not. Seems a little more than I can do, my anxiety is already up just thinking about it.

I might just say home and take pictures of more of his records. I dunno, 

My feet feel a little better today. I think I'll take a Lasik and see if it draws more water off them. 

I see the lady paid for her books on eBay, I'll hafta get the labels printed for those and the other 2 packages I have ready. 

Having my coffee and going to look at facebook for awhile. 

So Mike called, I told him I'd go to his mom's house and have barbeque with him. I can't stand these things, I hope he don't notice. Only 3 more hours before I have to go ... 

Now an hour and ten minutes, I think I'll take a chill pill before I go. 

I did take a chill pill, they were as welcoming as ever! Sweet people Mike's folks. We had hamburgers, hotdogs, potato salad, macaroni salad, corn, beans and chips. I had a little of each. Sue packed me a doggie bag of potato salad, macaroni salad and a hamburger along with some of her freezer jelly, a grape and a strawberry. Mike showed me his Beanie Baby Collection and there happened to be a large and a small flamingo, so I nabbed them both! Love my flamingos. I'm home now and back in my tee-shirt and undies. No bra, no teeth, just the way I like it. Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy come on in about 15 minutes, perfect timing!

I fell asleep before Jeopardy ever came on. I laid on the couch with my feet elevated because they are swollen. I have a feeling that my Norvasc is causing the swelling, Mike's mom had problems with her legs swelling with it. 

54,881 Coronavirus and 5,240deaths in Michigan as of today. 

May 26, 2020 I got up at 6:30. I went to the post office and got a letter from my retirement board about signing up for SSDI. I called them and told them I already signed up for it. They told me to hang onto the letter in case I get denied. 

I came home and called about my life insurance. It seems as if AARP was the cheapest for the $30,000 that I want at $26 a month.

 Lee called and wanted me to do some things on the web for him. He has a new logo he wants on the web page. I like working from home, I can work at my leisure, and I still get the job done. 

A storm blew through and knocked out the power for a little bit, just long enough to aggravate me during the web work. 

Other than working on the website it's been a really quiet evening. I talked to Jimmy twice today and talked to Becca. Daisy had such a bad week last week, she had a day where she was so destructive, she had days where she wanted nohing around her waist, like pants. Becca thinks it might be the beginning of her change of life. She's going to track it and see if it happens in a month. 

May 27, 2020

Well I slept through the night and into the day. I got up at 11:30. I had my coffee and the UPS driver dropped off 3 packages. Two were from my Keep Kids Learning Grant, and one was from Sisterhood Blessings. I got a "Crazy Sloth Lady" Coffee Mug. Then I went to the post office and I had my Mother's Day gift from Scott. It was a Coffee Mug that says, "Mom no matter how hard life gets, at least you didn't have ugly children". Very cute and very true. I also got a pair of earrings and a right corner angel from Sisterhood Blessings. 

I ate a Meals on Wheel meal for lunch - a southwestern tater tot casserole, spanish rice and peas and carrots. I had a piece of bread with honey butter on it too, with a diet cherry coke. 

Susan just called me and told me that one of my co-workers, Corolla is dying, she has weeks to live. What a horrible thing she must be going through. It is unknown what she has, the only news she knew was that she is coming home from U of M and her family has been called to be with her for her final days. How sad...

I called Oleta, Megan got exposed to Coved 10 through her work. She has to self quarantine for 14 days to see if she gets symptoms. She's getting a wall replaced in her house, that got water damage. 

 

I texted with Susan today and I talked to Mike for a bit, Jimmy called me twice and I'm going to call Becca here in few after I'm done talking to Oleta. Nothing's happening with Becca. I think I might get into my music cupboard now. 

Never got into my music cupboard. I wound up filling out forms for food stamps and help with my water bill. I heard from THAW, the agency that was helping out front line workers with utilities. They are going to pay for my water bill in full! Yeah! Then I talked to Bob at the Coldwater Crossing to see if I moved up the list, and I'm number three on the list now Yay! 

55,608 cases of covid-19 and 5,334 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is holding at $1.89

May 28, 2020

76 days

... or 10 weeks & 6 days

... or 2 months & 15 days

of quarantine. Things are slowly opening back up. I can go to the doctor now, i can ride a motor boat if I had one. I could shop by appointment in a store other than a grocery store, but I don't need to go to the doctors, I can call her, I don't have a boat and I don't need a thing, I'm trying to get rid of things. It's 1:45 in the morning, I'm wide awake pondering this lockdown that we find ourselves in. I need to stop or my anxiety will shoot through the roof. I laid back down at 6 and got up at 11:49..... 

I have to go to the Post office at 1 to see what kind of mail I have, then who knows what I'll get into. 

A nap. A nap is what I got into. I got a call from the DHS worker, Amy, I called her back. She hasn't got back to me today. I talked with Mike, Jimmy and Becca. Becca is coming out for the day and to pick up the Bug. She's "buying" it from me. She's going to help me get all my Coca-Cola stuff down from the shelving in the kitchen, so I can clean it up and sell it. I'll pack up all my Red Kitchen stuff and move it to my new place. 

I am going to get into my music cupboard tonight before dinner. I get so sleepy after I eat anymore and with nothing to do anymore, I doze off. 

56,014 Cases of Covid in Michigan as of today and 5,372 deaths. 

May 29, 2020

I got up at 7:30 and had coffee. Then I headed to Susan's place at about 10:15. She got me a retirement gift, It's a tee-shirt that says "Retired Teacher- Under New Managment - See Grandkids For Details" Too cute. 

Then I went to pick up Becky and the kids. Becky bought me groceries and was at the grocery store when I got there. So Daisy wanted to sit in the car so we waited in the car. It through Daisy off when Becky got in the car, then we went home a different way, and went to a different McDonalds, and Daisy screamed half the way home, until we hit an area she started recognizing. It was horrible for her. 

We got home and Becky cleared the shelf in the kitchen, she got down all the Coca-Cola things so I could put them on FaceBook to sell. I sorted what I want to take with me and what I want to sell in the yard sale. 

I talked to the lady at the DHS today. She had to ask me all the questions I already answered. Protocol I suppose. 

I made the kids grilled cheeses for dinner. Daisy ate two and had two bags of chips for dinner. Cloey at two and Brody only wanted one, but I noticed the entire box of honey buns was gone.  I saw Cloey eating one, so I assume Brody was full before dinner. 

I talked to Michael yesterday, We have a dinner date on Sunday after I take the kids home. He's going to meet me at home with Jakes Barbeque! I love Jakes, and I'm kinda fond of Michael too. 

56,621 Cases of Corona Virus in Michigan as of today and 5,406 deaths. Gas is holding at $1.89

May 30, 2020

Daisy slept from 10:15 to 7:30 this morning. She's kept on her outfit all night and isn't bothering it today. She's being such a sweetheart so far today, she's eaten a bagel with cream cheese and has a dry pullup on and she's happy, singing and eating chips now. Brody and Cloey are watching the Lego Movie 2. I'm drinking my coffee. 

I went to the post office and to my surprise my Amber baby bottle head jar was there! It was the last one I needed to finish my collection and it's a beauty too. I have a milkglass one, a colbalt blue one, a green glass one, a clear glass one a pink one and a clear glass pint one, and now an amber one. That's all the colors they came in. 

I put some Huckleberry Hound and Yogi Bear spoons on Facebook for $25 and the lady's son came and picked them up at 2:30. Then I took a nap. 

The grands LOVE ice cream so I went to the store, picked up the essentials, pizza, suckers, ice cream and chocolate syrup. 

I tell you when Daisy is not happy aint no one happy. She ripped up my bed down to the mattress and Brody had to help me make it up again, she was tired and screaming at us. We got it made as quick as we could but it wasn't fast enough for Little Miss Daisy. I had to finish making it after the bottom sheet was put on with her in the bed. It's 10:00, way past her bedtime, and she was good until 9:45, then all holy hell broke loose. 

56,884 cases of corona virus an 5,463deaths as of today in Michigan. 

May 31, 2020

Daisy got me up at 7:30 and I was "Wine and Dashed" before then! Brody said he heard a knock on the door and when he got there, there was a package and the person was gone. I was exceptionally wine and dashed. There was so much in the bag! There was wine, a wine glass, wine opening stuff, 2 pops, chips, popcorn, cheez-its, sausages, bath gels, bath cream, a face mask, a scrubber for the bath, a $10 winner scratch off ticket, cookies, candy, a plaque, Baily's Irish Creme, Rumchada, a small wine, and so much more! I could never have put together a bag like this! Oh and there was a roll of toilet paper in the bag too! LOL :) Wine and Dash is a Facebook page I belong to. 

Daisy is jumping on the bed getting ready to break it. I put her in a bubble bath while I packed up the kids and they cleaned up their messes. She was happy to get in the car after her bath. She didn't start screaming till after we got to Colin and got nearer to Three Rivers. She left the car screaming and was still screaming when I left. I'm going to call Becca in a little while and see how she is, if she calmed down or not. 

Me and Mike went to Dickie's for barbeque since Jake's don't open on Sunday. Then we drove to The Udder Side for ice cream dessert. Jeez a one scoop weighs a pound!! Drove home with a very full belly! 

Mike and I watched "IT" part one and two tonight, the old version was a better version.

57,397 cases of Covid and 5,491 death in Michigan as of today, Up 513 cases since yesterday. 

June 1, 2020

Up at 6:00 I tried to go back to bed but laid in there for 45 minutes and decided to get up, I'll nap later if I feel like it. Mike told me to wake him at 10 ish so I'm trying to be very quiet so's not to wake him early. He has to work today. I had a lazy day, I packed up one box and made a vat of macaroni salad, there's so much! 

June 2, 2020

Today has been a sleepy, lazy day. It's 4:17 in the afternoon and I have done nothing but sleep, eat and watch T.V. game shows all day. I can honestly say that the evening looks about the same. I don't feel like doing anything at all today. I didn't even go to the post office today. 

I ate a chicken salad sandwich and fruit cocktail for breakfast. I had macaroni salad for lunch and for dinner. Prolly not the best thing with the diabetes, but it is so good. 

I sold a set on facebook today for $15, it was lotion, jewelry and a watch. I got it all from Maria and I never used it and never will, so why not sell it? The thought was amazing from Maria, and I held on to it for two years, but it was time to go. 

I talked to Becca and to Mike today on the telephone, I actually talked to Mike twice. 

 57,731 cases of Covid and 5,332 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

Wednesday June 3, 2020. 

Bob called me from Coldwater Crossing this morning at 9:00. The lady in my apartment went to live at the Laurel's and my apartment will be ready as soon as they move her stuff out and they get in there to patch it up! I'm geeked for a couple reasons; one she didn't die in my apartment, and two she didn't die in my apartment. YAY! I'm so happy!!!

The Governor has opened up most of the state as of the 8th of June. She is hoping by the 4th of July that all of the shops will be open. She is keeping the barber and beauty shops closed as well as, tanning, tattoo shops, gyms, karate theaters (Drive-Ins can open). I'm still worried about the virus. It's still prevalent and within reach of me. I can't wait to tell Becky and Scott! 

I spent the day watching games shows again. I did go to the post office. I actually got dressed to go. I had an application for life insurance from AARP. I filled it out with a check to them for $26.00. That's the best price I've seen anywhere! I was quoted $134 from America One that carries my life insurance through work. 

I got a surprise from a secret sister in my Sisterhood Blessings. I got a package of waffle mix for the waffle maker I got from a sister awhile back. 

Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy are on now. I think I'm going to split up my Coca-Cola stuff and sell it separately. I haven't gotten any bites with it altogether. 

Chores for tomorrow and Friday

1. Clear off the kitchen table

2. Prune plants

3. Take photos of Coca-Cola stuff

4. Put on Facebook

5. Wash the Dishes (In the bathtub again...sigh....) 

6. Sweep the front walk

7. Empty music table

8. Call to reserve Hotel at Shipshewana

9. Clean kitchen Floor

10. Clean Kitchen Counter 

11. Clean Stove

Maybe I'll get it done if I write it out. Otherwise, I do nothing, it all gets overwhelming. 

57,731 cases of Covid and 5,553 deaths in Michigan as of today. First day that there are no new cases added to that total since March 12th. 

June 4, 2020

Got up at 8 this morning. Had my coffee and got busy at 10. I ate Breakfast and cleared off the kitchen table, then I pruned and cleaned up my plants, packaged two things I sold on eBay and went to the Post Office to mail them. Then I spent all day taking Coca-Cola pictures. I posted them and am getting many hits just no real interest. Its 6:50 and I have the dishes soaking in the tub. I'll wash them after Wheel and Jeopardy go off in an hour. It's very difficult for an overweight middle aged woman to do the dishes hunkered over the bathtub. Frustrating. 

I'm watching Dateline, then going to call Mike and head for bed. I'm tired and I knocked 5 things off my list. I decided to watch the new Restaurant Impossible. I like that show. I talked to Mike, now I'm heading for bed. 

58,035 cases of Coronavirus and 5,570 deaths in Michigan as of today. Up 304 cases overnight. 

June 5, 2020

I got up at 8 and set my alarm for 9, I was tired this morning I kept hitting the snooze and finally rolled outta the bed at 9:15. I sold some books on Facebook and the lady will be here at 11 to get them. I have a couple things left on my list to do today. I added a couple more. I seem to get more done when I work off a list. 

1. Clear off the kitchen table

2. Prune plants

3. Take photos of Coca-Cola stuff

4. Put on Facebook

5. Wash the Dishes (In the bathtub again...sigh....) 

6. Empty music table

7. Call to reserve Hotel at Shipshewana

8. Clean kitchen Floor

9. Clean Kitchen Counter 

10. Clean Stove

So where are we with the restrictions for Michigan? It was easier to copy and paste it than paraphrase it....

The governor has extended Michigan’s stay-at-home order until June 12. The executive order also extends the temporary closure of places like theaters, gyms and casinos. “ If we open too soon, thousands more could die and our hospitals will get overwhelmed." 

Under the new guidelines, stores will be able to have customers without appointments and restaurants will be able to have customers dine in, but social distancing requirements remain in place requiring limited capacity. 

The state has noted that coronavirus cases and deaths have dropped more sharply and treatment capacities at hospitals and other health-care facilities have improved, among other criteria.

“While Michiganders are no longer required to stay home, we must all continue to be smart and practice social distancing, and encourage those who meet the criteria to get tested for COVID-19,” Whitmer said.

Whitmer moved 93 percent of the state into "phase four" of the reopening plan, with hopes to move to "phase five" by July 4. In addition to stores and restaurants being able to open up to customers, day camps and pools will be open as well.

Outdoor public gatherings, which had been limited to a maximum of 10 people, will now be allowed to have up to 100, as long as social distancing is practiced.

Indoor theaters, hair salons, and gyms will remain closed, although gyms will be permitted to hold outdoor classes.

Whitmer's stay-at-home order was among the strictest in the nation. Many residents said Whitmer overstepped her authority by banning most travel between homes and by temporarily prohibiting sales of items such as garden supplies and activities such as some forms of fishing.

So by the 4th of July everything will be back to normal, although by the 12th of June most everything is back to normal. Which means Susan and I can go out to lunch! Jeannie's Diner has a great salad we want to get. 

Corola was a teacher that worked in Quincy after I left there. She died today, officially of liver and kidney failure. She drank herself to death. It's such a crying shame. She was so you only in her 50's. She was a determined worker and had a sense of humor that I adored. I didn't know her well, but the idea that it could have been prevented if she could have only got off the liquor years ago. I don't understand alcoholism at all. I don't understand the lifestyle of it. I know I feel sad about Corola, she was far too young. Maybe in death she'll find the peace she was looking for in a bottle. 

I been dinking around today. Rich called me, he'll be over to hook up the washer drain so I can wash my clothes (and maybe even use my sink). I been going back and forth on FaceBook with the Coke stuff. I wish it would just sell. 

Geneva said she was coming over to drop off my chair. It's the chair I had used in the classroom for the past 24 years. I really wanted it but didn't take it with me. She took it and recovered it for me. God she is heaven sent! 

63,539 cases of coronavirus and 5, 855 deaths in Michigan as of today.  Up 5,504 cases overnight. Wow. 

June 6, 2020

Up at 4:25. Wide awake. Had 2 cups of coffee. I have been thinking about the riots that have been taking place over the past 8 days or so. I was horrified by the death of George Floyd and deeply troubled when purposeful and peaceful protests turned violent. The recent racial unrest in the United States and Michigan, including the horrific death of George Floyd, is deeply troubling, distressing, scary and frankly very sad. The continued instances of prejudice and injustice occurring are simply not acceptable. The entire country is rallying for George Floyd, a Minneapolis man, and other unarmed black victims of police brutality. It all started when a white police officer knelt on the neck of a black man for 8 minutes and 46 seconds, while the black man told the cop he couldn't breathe. The cop didn't move and he killed the black man by suffocating him, while three other cops stood by watching or kneeling on the black man's back. This was over a nonviolent issue of a counterfeit $20 bill being used in a store. End the Police Brutality is the theme of these riots, this upheaval. 

When the riots in the 60's took place, it was after 6 days of rioting that the civil laws changed for more equality for people of color. I don't see any change happening at all during this time. Black Lives Matter (In my heart I always want to say to this motto - All Lives Matter, but I get it) is a movement that I have heard about for years in the media, yet, I see no change happening. We have a president who says, "When the looting starts, the shooting starts". Way to go President Trump, but a lot of people think that's the way to go. It seems to me that when people start to riot and burn down the town, it is the town they live in and the stores they shop in. They burn down their own markets, and wonder why they live in poor quality neighborhoods....the rioters and the looters made it that way. Townsfolk can't rebuild, or refuse to rebuild after that...

I don't know about this George Floyd fella. They've (the black community) made him a martyr to their cause. He's not a fella I would want as the cornerstone of my cause.  He was a brute. A burglar who beat a very pregnant woman with a gun, he claimed to have reformed from a prison stint, yet he was passing a counterfeit $20 bill, with methamphetamines in his system along with other drugs. Not too reformed as I see it, but this is the man that the black community is using as the foundation for the change they want. Police brutality is the key component of the uprising that is taking place. Many communities have begun to make changes in the way they train their police officers. Our governor called to make changes in the way police in Michigan are trained. 

I don't know about all this injustice. I know it's occurring, and the struggle is real. I also know that I taught preschool for 34 years and in those years I taught children, not the race of people. Maybe if the world can see each other the way I see people it would be a better place. I tried to raise my children with my love for people. Racism as a whole, especially systemic racism has got to be stopped. I personally think that this movement isn't going about it in the right way. I don't know.....

.....I do know that I'm going to go sweep the kitchen floor and take out the trash. 

I swept the kitchen and found a dead mouse, at least I know the mouse bait is working. I took out the trash and packaged a couple of things I sold on ebay. A book and a trinket box. I hafta get up to the post office here pretty quick, since it's Saturday and they close at noon. 

Mike's coming over today at about 4. He's bringing some things that he is going to sell at the yard sale over and well go out to dinner. He'll prolly stay the night and go home tomorrow. I know he has to work tomorrow and Sunday so he could get the weekend off. 

I took a much needed nap! I got up at 2:30 when Mike called me. Trying to get Becky a tire so she can be out here on the 10th. 

 Mike and I wound up at Dickies Barbecue for dinner, and DQ for dessert. 

63,983 cases of Corona Virus and 5, 891 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

June 6, 2020

Up at 8:00 this morning. Mike slept on the couch and I was trying to be quiet, but I woke him up at 9:00, He got boxes around for me and I made him some scrambled eggs for breakfast. 

Mike got called into work early so he took off and I had lunch. Then I took a nap. I farted in my sleep and shit my pants, so I woke up to take a shower, but there were dishes in the tub.... jeez. I was afraid to bend over and pick them out of the tub, but I did. My tummy has been gurgling and cramping all afternoon, and I ran a couple times, but since then I been really gassy, just not poopy. 

I packed up the stair shelves and my eBay dresser filled with my eBay stuff. I separated when I am going to keep and what I am going to sell at the yard sale. I'm really worried about the amount of table tops I am going to have at the yard sale. I'm not going to have much room at all. I gave Becca my tables because the last sale I had was going to be my last sale, till I figured on moving out. 

I lost the big roll of tape. I have searched everywhere for it. I can't find it anywhere. I have no idea where I put it down, but it became Houdini and disappeared! 

Missy is afraid to eat out. We are going out for the weekend. We are going to need to eat and she's afraid to eat in a restaurant. I really have my heart set on going to Das Dutchmen Essenhaus for dinner one night. 

64,413 cases of Covid-19 and 5,895 deaths in Michigan as of today. That's 430 new cases since yesterday. 

June 8, 2020

Up at 3:30 this morning. Going to take a xanax and go back to bed. Got up at 12:30 after going back to bed at 6:30. I hate taking the xanax cuz it makes me sleepy all day. 

I got my retirement letter I have been waiting for. I'll get $839 after taxes and insurance a month for my retirement. Not a lot to live on, but if I get my disability that I am hoping for, I would be able to make it just fine. Here's hoping thing are determined in my favor! 

I still can't find the tape. I looked everywhere except where it is again today. It's grew legs and run away with the clicker that Cloey lost in the living room. 

I took a nap from 5 to 7:30. This is why I use the xanax so sparingly. I did nothing today but watch TV and sleep. I was still running today so I didn't eat much. Been drinking a lot of tea today. I think I have a little bit of  a tummy bug. Maybe I shouldn't have made a lunch date with Susan for tomorrow. I hope I feel better tomorrow. 

64,701 cases of coronavirus and 5,912 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is creeping up again. It was $1.99 in town for a gallon of gas. 

June 9, 2020

I got up at 6:30 after going to bed at 1:00 last night. I stayed up to watch my dirty little secret show - The 90 Day Fiancé. It a goofy reality show that follows people on their quest for true love. 

Restaurants opened up yesterday for dine in service. Its limited capacity, every other table, but it's opened! 

They say that the riots and protests are going to bring a spike in the coronavirus numbers. we're seeing a decline and these rabble rousers are going to spread it like wildfire. Incredible. I'm praying this doesn't take us back to where we were a month ago. I've been sitting my ass home since March 13 because of this virus. Rarely going anywhere unless it was to get my grandkids. Becca did all my shopping for me. That's 88 days!! I'm going out to lunch with Susan today. I don't want the quarantine to come back!! I sound a little desperate when I reread that, but it's been a long and lonely quarantine. The state isn't fully opened yet. This journal isn't quite done yet. Soon, but not quite yet.

It was 95 degrees at 10:30 this morning, and soooo muggy, I sat in front of the fan and it was just hot air blowing on me. It's 8:30 and 81 degrees, the storms coming through are cooling it down, 

Susan cancelled our lunch date, she has had a migraine for a couple days, and she was afraid she wouldn't be good company. 

I gotta get my money ready for my yard sale tonight. I got $36 in change and small bills to start out my sale. I can't believe that my sale is already here. I have tomorrow to go through the upstairs and get everything ready for Thursday. 

I gotta go get the tables and Daisy tomorrow morning, Becca is bringing Cloey and Brody. 

64, 998 cases of covid 19 and 5,943 deaths in Michigan as of today.

June 10, 2020

Up at 5:45 his morning. Having coffee and waking up, got a lot to do today. It's 7:30. I'm going to go get dressed and head out to Becca's. 

I picked up the tables and Daisy. It was a long ride home, hadta go slowly with tables hanging out the trunk of the car. Becca and I cleared out the back room and the small bedroom. We also got into the attic. I scared Becca and she wouldn't go into the attic so I did. I got into my children's baby clothes. Scott wants me to send him photos of the cradle, he might want to keep it. He wants his Monster in My Pocket Volcano. Too bad he doesn't have the monsters anymore. I found this photo on eBay. 

It rained something fierce today. Worst thunderstorm I have seen in a very long time. The kids loved playing in the rain, until the thunder and lightning started, then they were little drowned rats needing changed. The big kids had their new summer shoes on, I hope the rainwater didn't ruin them. It's 10:30, Daisy is asleep, it's time for me to head to bed too. I have my alarm set for 6.  

65,182 cases of corona virus in Michigan as of today and 5,955 deaths in Michigan. 

June 11, 2020

Up at 6:15 this morning. Today is Yard Sale DAY! I'm going to run it this weekend and next weekend. Oleta will be here on the 17th to help me run it next weekend. I hafta put ads on facebook today for the yard sales so I can get more traffic here and sell more stuff. 

Sometime today I have to get photos of the cradle and send to Scott. 

I made $178.85 at the yard sale today. I'm exhausted. 

65,440 cases of corona virus and 5,985 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

June 12, 2020 

Up at 7:30, after being up at 4:30 for awhile. Got the yard sale opened and ready for the day. It's 10:30 and I have had a couple of sales. Becca is on her way.  I made $153.20 at the yard sale. I'm so tired and I got a reaction to the sun, feeling exhausted and miserable tonight. 

Total Confirmed Cases of Covid 19 - 59,801 and 5,767 deaths. That's up 180 cases and 22 deaths. 

June 14, 2020

What a whirlwind couple of days! Been BUSY with the yard sale and the kids. Then I had a photoshoot right in the middle of yesterday that I forgot about. Glad she called me to remind me. I did Beka Hollingsworth's Graduation Party. I did a photo booth and random pictures. It turned out really nice. They seemed to have fun and I got paid $50 for the shoot and $20 for making her movie montage set to music. 

I'm up at 5:30 this morning, before any of the kids or Mike is up, It's so quiet. I wish Michael would wake up and we could have coffee together this morning. Uh-Oh I hear Daisy singing in the bedroom. She is taking her time getting out of bed though. 

I am going to take the kids to the store today and get them that one thing they want. They worked so damn hard for me this weekend. Brody wants a new bike and Cloey wants a Lego set she's had her eye on. We'll go to the Wal-Mart in Three Rivers and get their things after I drop Daisy off. I don't want to drag her to the store, she hates it so much. 

Tomorrow and Tuesday I am going to get my house cleaned for Oleta to come. She should be here Wednesday or Thursday. I can't believe I'm going to put myself through another weekend of yard sale. Oleta will help me out, but it's hard work. 

Daisy is up and is eating her Oreo cookies and watching Mickey Mouse. Everyone else will be up shortly and my day will start in earnest. 

We cleaned and organized the livingroom so I could vacuum the carpeting. Then we took out the trash - there were 17 bags of it, and I bagged up my dirty clothes to take to Becca's since I don't have a washer drain yet. 

I left the house at 11:20 to take the kids home. We were headed into Allen when Cloey remembered that she forgot her phone. I turned around and we headed back to the house to get it. Then we left to head to the nearest McDonald's for our traditional lunch out, and to drop of the kids stuff and Daisy. I took Boo and Cloey to the Wal-Mart to get Brody a bike and Cloey her Legos. No bikes at the Wal-Mart. They were wiped clean. So we went to the Meijer's. They had 2 of the same Mongoose 24" bikes there. So we got one of them. It will be the last bike I buy Brody. He's 14 and will be starting Driver's Ed next year. Sigh, they grow so fast. Cloey will be needing a new bike next year, Hers was fine for this year. We just raised the seat on it and it still fit her. 

I drove home and had coffee and smoked a cigarette Mike left for me. I've been doing so well - it's been 95 days

... or 13 weeks & 4 days

... or 3 months & 3 days

since I quit, but this weekend I wanted one BAD and Mike wanted one BAD, so he bought a pack and we made good time smoking that pack. He left me with three and I smoked two on the road and one when I got home with my coffee. 

Total Confirmed Cases of Covid 19 - 66,054 and 6,016 deaths as of today. 

June 15, 2020

Boy can I feel the effects of smoking a half a pack of cigarettes yesterday. I'm coughing and wheezy this morning. I won't do that again, any time soon. I slept from 8:45 last night till 9:00 this morning. I was tired I would guess. My legs hurt from the sun allergy reaction I get from having too much sun this weekend, although it was unavoidable during the yard sale. I'm a wreck this morning, some it was bound to happen and some of it was self afflicted but my chest hurts and my legs and feet hurt. 

I had to text the lawnmower man to cut my lawn on Wednesday of this week so I can set up for the yard sale for Thursday. 

Today I am going upstairs to take pictures of my Theme Boxes  I have left and sell them on facebook. Then I'm going to drag down all my totes to sell in the yard sale. that's the plan for today, but first breakfast and another cup of coffee. 

6:45 pm - I got all my totes photographed and sold and they are mostly picked up and paid for. I also sold my windmill. They'll be back on Wednesday to dig it up. I made $105.00 today! 

Sigh, I also went and bought a pack of cigarettes.  :o(   I tried willing myself not to but the urge was too strong. I won't be doing that again at $7.73 a pack! No More after today! I hafta swear to myself no more!! 

I'm waiting on a woman to get one Blues Clue doll for $5.00 and I'll be able to get back into my pajamas then. 

I got in my pajamas before she got here. Still waiting on her... sigh

She finally got here about 9:45! I talked to Michael for a bit and am going to call him back before I go to bed.  I ate a bowl of cereal and need to take my pills and get around to go to bed soon. 

Total Confirmed Cases of Covid-19 in Michigan today is 66,085 with total of 6,017 Covid -19 Deaths. 

June 16, 2020

Up at 4:30 this morning. Back to bed and up at 10:00. Well, it looks like tattoo shops are finally opening on the 22nd of  June.  Now the riots still continue...

I can’t keep up. I just can’t. I'm stressed. I’m exhausted trying to figure out what we’re all supposed to do, believe, and be offended and outraged by next.

Two months ago, First Responders were all the rage. In fact, they were heroes. We gave them free coffee, meals, and cheers as they drove by. Today we hate them and want them defunded because they can’t be trusted.

Two months ago, truck drivers were the heroes, as well, for keeping America moving and the grocery stores stocked. Today we block the roads with protesters, drag them out of the cabs and beat them half to death.

Nurses and Doctors are still cool for now. But they may be unemployed. They too are heroes, unless of course they truly believe all lives matter. Then they’re filled with hate and are part of problem like so many others.

Just 45 days ago protests weren’t “essential” and were considered criminal, selfish and a murderous activity. Today they are gloriously critical and celebrated. All of the obvious criminal and murderous activities are simply ignored. If you protest about lockdowns for freedom, you are selfish and you will spread a virus. If you protest, loot, and riot for social justice, you are a warrior and the virus cedes.

Trust the experts. No, not those experts. Don’t wear masks ... wear masks, but only good ones. Wait, don’t wear masks, wear anything as a mask. Nevermind on the masks. Not sure, but if you don’t, you hate people because you could be an asymptomatic spreader. Wait. That's not a thing anymore?

For 3 months, NOTHING was more important than social distance. In fact, we gave up all of our liberties for it. We canceled schools, medical and dental procedures, yet allowed the murder of babies, canceled activities, closed businesses, eliminated every spring rite of passage from prom to graduation, denied people funerals, even at Arlington, and we wrecked the economy for it. Then came social justice, and social distance was no more. Now things are more cut and dry though. A thousand people at three memorials for someone they never even met. It's a matter of "respect". But you can only assemble 100 or less people.

Black Lives Matter. Of course they do. Then multiple black police officers and individuals were killed during the “peaceful protests”. I don’t see any outrage. Black individually owned businesses burned to the ground. Silence. Deadliest weekend in Chicago. NOTHING!!

I’m really confused now. Look at the data, NO, not that data. Do the math. No, you can’t do the math like that. Only the experts can understand the data and math. What do you mean other cities/states/governors are interpreting the data differently? Pools are safe in Indiana, but not Michigan? Playgrounds are safe in your town but not mine? Amusement parks are safe in Florida but not Ohio, nor Michigan.

Just listen to the black community leaders. No, not them.

If you are silent you are part of the problem. If you speak, you are part of the problem. If you have to ask, you don’t understand. If you don’t ask, you don’t care.

It’s all so predictable, tedious, and exhausting. Nothing adds up. It’s one gigantic common core Math life problem, with ever changing denominators that I’m sure the media and politicians are eagerly ready to solve for us....until the next "crisis".

So for now I pray. I pray God will heal our land and bless the United States of America. I'm exhausted just thinking about everything that Americans are going through.

Today I am staying in my bubble of my world and cleaning the kitchen and bathroom. 

I gave a lady who needed a dresser the dresser I have in my yard sale. People were bullying her telling her to get a job because she asked for a dresser, "preferably free since I don't have a penny to my name".  I been there and done that, no judgment. I have a dresser, she needs a dresser, so that's what I did. I'm waiting on her to get back with me to tell me a time she's going to pick it up. 

She got with me and is picking it up on Friday. 

My coffee maker took a dump on me so I have to go to the Wal-Mart and get a new one. This time I'm getting a Kuerig though. No more off brands. 

I went and got my Kuerig, and an outfit, and some food. 

I came home and put my jars on the sale site and the wagon wheels on , hoping I can get them out of the way. The jars sold 2 minutes after I put them on the site. I'm waiting for Jodi to come by and pick up her CD....I hate waiting on people.

She got here a half hour late, I was in my pajamas already. 

Rich came by and smoothed out the dirt tonight. It was settled in so badly, now it smooth and looks nice. 

It's 9:30 and I am so ready for bed! 

66,269 positive cases and  6,034 deaths attributed to COVID-19 in Michigan as of today.

June 17, 2020

Up at 9:15 this morning. I didn't feel very well yesterday. My stomach was so upset, I was vomiting up so much phlegm. I feel so much better this morning. I got a semi-offer on the wagon wheels today. and the young man came to get the Coke stuff I've been holding for him today. 

Mike is coming over to help me with the big stuff, putting out tables and things. Oleta will be here by about 7 tonight. 

They got here at about 8. It was so good seeing everyone. 

Megan is going to stay till Friday with Cordie. 

66,497  Covid cases in Michigan today. 

June 18, 2020

Becky's Birthday! She turned 34 today! I remember those years being the best, I hope she is finding that too. 

 I opened my yard sale at 11 this morning and made $105.00 when I closed it at 5:30 or 6. Tomorrow I just need to get up and get dressed. 

We called for Lone Ranger for Hamburger Baskets tonight for dinner

finally fell into the bed sun soaked and aching at 10:30

June 19, 2020

Still having a yard sale. I was up at 7:50 with someone knocking at the door wanting to buy my teacart. 

Becca came over and brought the kids to see Oleta and bring me my clothes. I made a pot of creamed chipped beef for dinner and for Becca to take home to Mike. 

Not doing too bad with the yard sale today I made over $70 dollars so far. I'm sitting inside with the grands. I need to go outside and relieve Leda so she can come cool off. 

June 20, 2020

Up at 8:00 Started selling a few things outside. By noon I was tired of yard sale-ing altogether so I picked a few things that might sell at Becky's yard sale. and I brought a few things in for eBay. I took a picture of what was left and put it on facwebook for free. Within 20 minutes a couple came and took everything. It was amazing! Then me and Oleta took the tables back to Becca's. On the way home I stopped at Family Dollar and they had the pool Becca has been searching for, so I picked it up. She's got to come sometime and get it from me. Oleta and I went out to Applebee's for dinner. 

67,545 coronvirus cases and 6,087 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

June 21, 2020

LAZY day today. Up at 10:30. I'm slowly cleaning up the kitchen today. I want to move the fridge back and straighten things up in there. Going to have my Meals on Wheels lunch from Thursday today. 

We bought an extra meal and brought it home from Applebee's so Leda and I are having ribs for dinner tonight! Yum. 

I did the dishes in the fricken tub again, I moved the fridge back where it belongs and I have to sweep and do some other things in there. 

We ate our ribs for dinner. I made us a strawberry shortcake for dessert. 

10:00 and I am ready for bed. 

67,711 covid cases and 6,090 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

June 22, 2020

Busy day! Started the day with a photo shoot for Susan's granddaughter. The pictures turned out great! She was such a doll! Becca came and picked up the pool for the kids while I was at Susan's. I went to the apartment and filled out paperwork and saw where I'll be living. It was a little hard when I first looked at it. It's not my house, it smelled different, it looked different and I didn't like it, but I'll get my stuff in there and I'll like it soon enough. 

After the apartment we went to the Wal-mart and shopped, and then I can home and cleaned the fridge and took out the trash. We had a sub sandwich for dinner. 

67,957 cases of corona and 6,097 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

June 23, 2020

I swear I'm going to have a lazy day today. I ate lunch from Meals on Wheels and am getting ready to go to the mail box. I had to scan and email a 13 page report to Bob at Coldwater Crossings, I took a nap and woke up in time to make dinner. I watched America's Got Talent and went to bed. What a nice lazy day. 

June 24, 2020

Woke up at 9:30. Going to Ann Arbor with Mike. He needs to pick up some paperwork from the doctor. I have to get a paper from the courthouse and my divorce decrees to Bob at Coldwater Crossings. 

I have no idea where my divorce decree is from Jason. 

I went to Ann Arbor, Mike couldn't get the papers done, they will call him and he'll pick them up when they get it done. We went to the Salvation Army in Ann Arbor  and I got a couple great deals for eBay a doll and a measuring spoon set, and I got Lulu an ampersand for her shelf for Christmas. I found Becky a Campbell's Green Bean Casserole Dish so she can give me mine back. 

We went to Olive Garden for dinner and I got Chicken Parm. I brought Oleta home a Fettuccini Alfredo for $5. It's a special they are running right now, buy an entree and get one to take home for $5. I got home and she was happy to get it and ate it for dinner. 

I got my hint water delivered today. I thought I would try it. 36 bottles for $36.00 so the price got me to try it. I'm sitting here watching the boob tube and writing in my journal before bed tonight. It's 10:00 now and I'm getting ready to head that way. 

68,550 cases of Covid and 6,114 deaths in Michigan today. Gas is sitting at $1.99             

June 25, 2020

Woke up at 11:15 this morning. Ate some peaches and took my pills. I checked my bank account and my pension came through, so I paid my last house payment today. 

I have a feeling that this house is going to cause me grief in getting into my apartment. Since it's still in my name, it's an asset even though I don't technically own it. 

June 28, 2020 

Spent the Weekend with Sis, Missy and Oleta. Had a great time at Shipshewana with them. We went to Mendelson and had a Fried Chicken Dinner on Friday and we shopped all day Saturday. Mary had a wild idea that she saw on Facebook and she had us driving for the better part of an hour away to get a turtle ice cream cone for $4.00. It was just okay, not worth the trip or the price. Almost a two hour round trip to get it. 

Me and Oleta got home and are tired. We ate our subs from last night's leftovers, and she's napping in the chair now. I'm just watching the tv a little. 

June 29, 2020

I went to town with Mike today. He came over for a couple days to help me move some things into the apartment. We went to Goodwill and I found a few good eBay deals to make a few dollars, and went to Big Lots to look for Flamingo towels. I found beach towels that I liked so I bought a couple. I pick up the keys tomorrow and am moving my angel, the air conditioner and a few boxes over tomorrow.  Bob called me this morning to tell me that my rent is going to be $241.00 a month, with all utilities included! WOW!

Total Confirmed Cases of COVID-19 in Michigan as of today is 70,220 and total COVID-19 Deaths is 6,172.

June 30, 2020

I got keys today! Me and Mike and Oleta took a load of boxes over and me and Mike took a second load. My angel is there sitting on her new bench. I had to take a xanax today I was so worked up over moving, I felt better after I took it and we stopped for meals that the restaurants owed us. Arby's and Taco Bell both screwed up meals so we got them replaced, Mike got pizza and bread sticks. 

I'm chilling at home tonight watching America's Got Talent 

Michigan has reported 70,728 cases of the virus and 6,193 deaths as of today. 

July 1, 2020

My anxiety is sky high today! Packing and moving is really getting to me. Michael pushed through and took two loads over today while I stayed back and packed. Me and Oleta must have filled up 20 boxes to go today. 

Rich stopped by and we were able to get a few things hammered out. Got to get the water bill paid and changed to his name, the gas and electric need to go into his name, the lawnmower man has to be stopped next week. 

I have to stop the Meals on Wheels and let them know I'm moving, and get a change of address kit as well. 

I can't believe its July first already!! Time is flying by. 

71,089 covid cases and 6,198 deaths in Michigan as of today.

July 2, 2020

Taking the day off today, my back HURTS!  Going to go to a yard sale, the Dollar General and the Post office. 

I bought a new kitchen table and chairs that are perfect for the kitchen in my apartment. I found them at a yard sale for $75! I got a tee shirt and a hair clip in the mail today. I totally took today off, and did the dishes in the tub for the last time. I made a fabulous taco dinner with salsa, corn, black beans and chicken in a soft taco shell. Then I made a pot of rice pudding. MMMmmm so good! 

I talked to Michael tonight for over an hour, and am ready for bed. 10:45 PM I have a photo shoot with Emma tomorrow. I'm going over to the apartment afterwards and put stuff away and I bought an old fashioned school desk to use as a plant stand in the apartment that I need to go pick up. 

71,678 cases of corona virus and 6,212 deaths in Michigan today. Gas is still standing at $1.99 a gallon here in Reading. 

July 3, 2020

Up at 7:15 this morning. Two cups of coffee, and I'm ready to get dressed and start the day. Going to the apartment, got a Sweet 16 photoshoot with Emma Hollingsworth, and picking up the antique desk. Then we are going to Wal-mart and the Chinese Buffet. 

Juli Westgate's mom is on her way to look at my table and chairs. I told her $115 and she could have it. Who in world gets up this early and is raring to go?? Only Juli! I'll mis this old table. She served me well. 

72,175 cases of covid and  6,218 death as of today in Michigan. 

July 4th 2020

    I got up and went to Lee's for awhile for his 4th of July bash, I stayed about an hour and a half chatting with him about his new pool and deck, and ate a fantastic barbecue dinner. I came home and got some iced tea and put it in my new glass that Lee gave me. It's perfect for my iced tea. I bought some ice and got Leda some pop for her ice glass. It's so hot again today. In the upper 90's and I feel sick, my bowels are running in this heat and I have a headache. I am sipping my iced tea and lovin' every sip. Milo's sugarfree sweet tea is the bomb! 

I'm going to pack up my corner shelf tonight, it holds my nativity scene and other special pretties. 

So we got about 7 boxes filled and melted while doing it. We'll start up again in the morning. I talked to Mike tonight for about 45 minutes and am getting around to getting to bed. 

72,581 cases of covid and 6,218 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

July 5, 2020

Bruce is on his way to come pick up Oleta. He's hanging out till at least tomorrow if not Tuesday to help me move. Leda an I have been packing up this morning, we just have the kitchen walls, the backroom and my bedroom to do.

It's in the 90's again today, moving and packing boxes is making me melt. It's crazy. I still have the back room and the bedroom to go......

Bruce made it here without trouble and we all went to Bob Evans for dinner. Bruce stopped by and we got Lee's truck and trailer and brought it home. It's still so hot at 10:05 at night....

I got the hanging clothes out of my closet and am packing my dresser yet tonight. 

72,941 cases of Covid-19 and 6,218 deaths in Michigan as of today. Today is the first day since March that there were not deaths in Michigan overnight. 

July 6, 2020

MOVING DAY!

July 9, 2020 Crazy exhausted. still so much to do. I have all my big stuff in thanks to Bruce and Mike. My bed is up, my living room is nearing completion and I have about 18 boxes to put away yet. Then there are two or three more car loads at the house that I need to get yet. On the 21 and 22 of July, Becca is coming down to help me clean the Reading house. 

I bought a new table and chairs because the one with the coffee cups broke when Leda was sitting in it. If it was that flimsy I wanted no part of it, so I had Bruce fix it and am reselling it. The couch, loveseat and chair that I bought off Susan was too much furniture for my living room so I resold the chair. Now I have to figure out where the rest of my stuff goes. 

Me and Mike are officially "boyfriend" and "girlfriend". I told him I love him and I do, he is a great guy. He just has some quirks that bug me, but I'm sure I do to him too. 

There is a notice on the front door about not having visitors at the complex, but I see people with their grandkids and great grands here so I'll talk to Bob about it. 

75,062 cases of Covid-19 and 6,271 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas in Coldwater is up to $2.16 per gallon.

July 10 2020

Got up at 2 and saw that Rich wanted to sign the paperwork today. I drove out to the house in Reading and packed 4 boxes and 2 totes into my car. Rich wanted to tweak the paperwork a little and so we did. 

I locked up the house and brought more shit to the apartment. There is far far far too much stuff here. I moved my bedroom around a little bit and will keep my ebay stuff in there. 

I ate a bologna sandwich about 4 o'clock. 

75,685 cases of covid and 6,285 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas in Colwater is at $2.25

July 11, 2020

Got up with my alarm at 10 this morning, been emptying boxes and putting things away since then. Had a frozen meal for lunch. 

Mike and I are going to a barbeque at a brother of his friends house tonight. He works till 5:30 so I have till then to put things away. I'm going to meet up with him in Hillsdale at the Kroger parking lot

76,370  cases of crona virus and 6,313 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas in Coldwater is at $2.25

July 12, 2020

It was 12:30 last night by the time I got home. It was a fun barbecue. The fireworks show was amazing! It lasted well over an hour. We had brats and hot dogs with all the trimmings for dinner. Mike brought me Faygo diet pop; red pop, root beer, grape and orange. I bought $17 dollars worth of dollars from him for the laundry room washer and dryer. I miss him when he's not here. 

I'm going to call Scott and Becky here in a few, Scott already got his birthday gift 2 days early. I sent him pickled bologna, sharp cheddar cheese and ritz crackers, a family favorite. 

I got my bathroom completely done today. Everything is in its place! I hung a few things in the kitchen and got my chachkis put up in the kitchen. I put away two more boxes and gave away my 5 bottles of wine that have been collecting dust on the fridgerator to a gal named Mary who lives here at the apartments. She brought me up some meatloaf which was delicious. 

I talked to Scott and wished him a happy early birthday, and talked to Becky today, she wasn't up to much today either, just putting up Brody's bed. I have a little collection of stuff for her to go through and see if she wants it here. 

76,776 cases of Corona Virus and 6,314 deaths as of today in Michigan.

July 13, 2020 

Happy 37th Birthday to my son! I have a bunch of calls to make today, but first I'm off to the post office. I called my insurance company and changed my address, and the damn insurance to live in Coldwater is $30.50 more a month! What a crock. I called social security to change my address and I waited an hour to speak to someone. But I got it done and changed my address on my license and at the docs. I got one wall in the livingroom done, working on the second wall. 

My blood pressure is at 172/87 tonight.  I really don't feel too good. Gonna watch a show and go to bed. 

77,198 cases of corona virus and 6,321 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

July 14, 2020

My blood pressure was at 168/85 I took a blood pressure pill to see if it comes down, after about 20 minutes it came down to 148/88, much better but still high. I take it in another half hour and see what it is. It's still high. Becky thinks it's because I'm stressed. 

Mike came over and we got 2 car loads of stuff from the house. There is one more we are going to get tomorrow and the house will be empty of the stuff I want. YAY! 

July 15, 2020

It's 5:15 in the afternoon. I feel like crap, got the runs, feel weak and tired, took my blood pressure and it's at 141/87, so it isn't that. Mike and me went to get the last of the last out of the Reading house today. My nerves are shot. I have so much to do. 

I'm going home with Mike tonight so we can go out to eat his birthday dinner with his mom and Manuel. We are going to the Golden Corral. 

July 16, 2020

I spent the day with Mike today. I spent the night last night at his place. I did two loads of laundry and felt like shit last night. I got up today feeling MUCH better! I had a good day, drank my coffee and had a few smokes this morning, then watched some tv with him. I helped him with a letter to the Better Business Bureau about the eBay stuff he let someone else do for him and never got his stuff back. Then we drove around a bit, we went to Family Dollar where he works and I got my screws for the shelf in my bedroom, then we went to the Salvation Army store, I found no goodies to buy today. Next, we were off to an old fashioned candy store. That place was cool. I got some taffy to share with the ladies here in the apartments. We waited for his mom and Manuel to come get us and take us to the Golden Corral in Toledo. It was great food with wonderful people. Mike got a free meal for his birthday. I slept most the way back to Mike's place and chatted with Manuel while Mike's mom cut his hair. Then Mike brought me home and here I am at 10:55 still feeling good. I'm going to have a piece of cake that Mary brought me, she's one of the ladies here in the apartment. Tomorrow I'm starting my bedroom. I'm sure it's going to take me several days to get it done, but I'm going to start somewhere with it.  

79,839 cases of Corona Virus and 6,348 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas in Coldwater (My new hometown) is at $2.19 a gallon. 

July 17, 2020

Got up at 4, took a nap, went through shit, went to bed. Have had a bad attitude all day. 

July 18, 2020

Got up at 10:30 and had coffee and went downstairs to smoke. Went to Wal-Mart and got part of Michael's birthday present, a framed photo of the two of us. I'm making Red Robin seasons for him as well. I still have to get that for him. 

The governor passed a mandate that masks are required in every public building and outdoor gatherings if social distancing can't be maintained.  I have to wear one if I choose to sit in the lobby of the apartment building. 

I did not put anything away today. I wasn't up to it at all. Tomorrow I might be. 

Today is Michael's 52 birthday. I called him and posted to his facebook wall. 

81,238 cases of corona virus and 6,354 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

July 20, 2020

I worked in my bedroom yesterday. I hung the curtains and made the bed properly, I had just thrown a sheet on it when I moved in. My bedroom looks almost done now. I worked on it some today as well and will finish it tomorrow.  I traded my phone number with a few apartment mates here. Making some beginnings of friendships. 

I made a sandwich and cut up a cantaloupe for dinner tonight, and I made a strawberry shortcake. It was delicious. 

I was going to go to the Reading House tomorrow to clean it up but Becky called off because she has a flare up under her arm. So we put it off till Wednesday. 

82,395 cases of Corona virus and 6,373 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

July 21. 2020

Mom's been gone four years today. Hard to believe so much has happened in those years that I want to tell her about. I miss her more than I thought I could miss a person.  Sigh. 

Yesterday I saw a cardinal on my window sill and thought about mom. 

Today I put up my curtain under my sink. It looks nice. 

Becca is feeling better tonight, so we are on for tomorrow at the Reading house. 

Tonight Mary cooked me a meal and delivered it to me. I ate with Regina, John, May Lou and Margaret. She called me one of her peeps. I felt happy that I am making friends. She made brats with mustard, cheese, mashed potatoes and nutmeg. I never had anything like that before but it was really good. She made fried green tomatoes and a peach cake. Delish! I came inside and had a cup of coffee to finish it off. I'm watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy while I write tonight.  

It's 9:30 now and I think I'm going to go downstairs for a smoke here soon. I talked to Michael for the last hour. He makes me feel good. 

82,395 cases of Corona Virus and 6,373 deaths in Michigan as of today, Gas is $2.19 at the Citgo today. 

July 22, 2020 

It'a 9:25 at night when I'm writing this tonight. I got up at 9 this morning and went downstairs for awhile. I left to go to the Reading house about 10:00. I was halfway there when Becca called me to say that Rich came by and said there was no need to clean out the house because he's pulling in a large dumpster and will throw it all out. So we collected what we wanted, I got some rugs and my vacuum cleaner, Becca got some bedding, and we left to sit on the swing for a few. 

I closed a chapter of my life today when I left that house behind. I spent 25 good years in that house and raised my teenaged children in that house. Becca was 9 when we moved in and Scott was 12. I fed the football team in that house and had gaggles of girls in that house. Grandchildren were brought to me in that house. I was so proud the day I put it in my own name. I owned that house. Me alone owned that house. I just could not afford the upkeep to it anymore. I'm better off financially here, but I left a lot of memories there too. 

It was funny - Daisy walked through the empty house and went to the car and refused to come out again. Even when I was there she stayed in the car. We came back to my apartment and Daisy was apprehensive about it, until I showed her my bed. She crawled in, covered up and giggled. This was Yaya's place and she knew it. Her suckers were in the same drawer as always for her. She was happy here, so that made me feel good. I know in my heart I made the right decision for me, but change is so hard on me. 

I went down for a smoke and talked with Kathleen tonight. I told her I would get her food box tomorrow for her and save the cold stuff in the fridge for her if Margaret doesn't want her stuff. 

82,059 cases of corona virus and 6,382 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is holding at $2.19

July 23, 2020

It was not a remarkable day. I cleared of the table and took my placemats back to Big Lots because they didn't fit my table. I bought a tool bag and a few pieces of foods. Mike surprised me by coming out tonight! Sweet surprise! 

84, 431 cases of Covid and 6,395 deaths in Michigan as of today and gas is holding at $2.19 in Coldwater. 

July 24, 2020

Up at 6:40. I left Michael sleeping, I'm heading downstairs in a few for a smoke. 

Mike woke up about 9 and we went downstairs. Him and John were trading jokes and we were all laughing. Afterwards we came up and hung my shelf in the bedroom and laid my carpets down. Then we went yard saleing up through Jonesville and down through Bronson. We stopped at the discount food store and I got bologna and ham salad. I found a 50 cent capital T for my shelf and a 10 cent pair of pajamas for Cloey. We came back home and put everything away and went to Dickie's for dinner. It was amazingly good too. Then Michael left at 8:30. It is 9:30 and I'm headed to bed. I'm so tired. 

85, 072 cases of Covid and 6,400 deaths due to the virus in Michigan. Gas was $1.99 depending on where you went. It was $2.13 in Coldwater

July 25, 2020

I didn't get up till 11:30 today! I must have been exhausted! I emptied one box today. I have 3 more boxes to empty and 5 totes of photos to go through and my coat closet to organize and I'll be done moving in. 

I went to Juli's today, she had a couple of inhalers I use that she gave me. Then I went to the fruit market and got some corn and green beans. I came home and sat and talked with the ladies and John some and came upstairs to make dinner. I heated up a stuffed acorn squash that MaryLou gave me. It was good. I ate the last of my macaroni salad and watermelon with it. I'm going to find a sweet treat here in a bit for my 10:00 snack so I can take my medicine. 

I talked to Becky today and will talk to Michael here in a few. Shirley Vickstrom called me to let me know that Claudette McKay died today. Geneva texted me that her husband Mike has cancer in the lining of his lungs and Lee texted me to tell me that he had to put his beloved Bucky down today. Terrible news three times over. I feel so bad for Lee and Geneva. Geneva had a long journey with an unhappy ending at the end of it. Lee loved that dog like none other. My heart breaks both of them. 

I'm going to hang my living room curtains and hang a few pictures tomorrow.

85,072 cases of covid and 6,400 deaths due to the virus in Michigan. Gas was $1.99 depending on where you went. It was $2.13 in Coldwater again today. 

July 26, 2020

Up at 5:00 this morning coughing my fool head off. I went downstairs for my coffee and smokes and it was so peaceful out there. There is a noise curfew here, no loud noise between 8 at night and 8 in the morning. I'm going to wait till 8 and start hanging some photos I planned for my walls. I'm working on a second cuppa coffee now.  I'm going to play my facebook games while I drink it and in an hour and a half I'll get busy doing stuff. 

It was 8:09 when I started hammering to hang my photos this morning. I got them all up and my walls are full! I made a spaghetti dinner with garlic bread and did two loads of laundry. I'm going to do my best to empty the last two packed boxes of "stuff" in my kitchen. 

I talked to Becca today for a few, I talked to Mike tonight, I'm gonna call him again before I go to bed. 

I finally did it! I emptied the last two boxes, now the only thing left is to do pictures. I have 5 FIVE totes of pictures to go through. I needed an intervention long ago.....

86,661 cases  of  covid  and  6,400 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is still holding at between $1.99 and $2.13

July 27, 2020

Not a very remarkable day. I made green beans and bacon and potatoes for dinner and a couple ears of fresh sweet corn. Mary also brought me dinner tonight, Sloppy Joes, mac salad and beans with cookies for dessert. I put that in the fridge for tomorrow. I talked to Bob the manager about my phone issue. It works but it doesn't ring into my apartment. We concur that it may be the jack and not the phone, so he's calling the phone jack people to come look at it. 

I talked to Becca, and to Michael and got a package together for Scott, I just need to package it up to send him. 

I have a lot of bills this month. My rent is $250, I have a water bill for $112, I have a spectrum bill for $212. My phone bill is $70, my insurance is $153 and my heat bill is $50. Not gonna be able to pay everything this month.  Next month it will be a $50 spectrum bill, my rent at $250 and my phone at $70 and my insurance. Maybe I'll let the water bill go until next month. I sure could use a stimulus check now. I heard that it passed today and we should be receiving them shortly.

86,661 case of Covid and 6,400 deaths in Michigan as of today. That's three days of no one dying due to the 'rona virus. Not bad. Gas is still at $1.99 - $2.13

July 31, 2020

Had a Ear, Nose and Throat doctor appointment today in Jackson. He can't see into my sinuses so I have to have a catscan done on the 17th at 5:00 in Jackson. 

I have been busy with my pictures, sorting and getting rid of duplicates and landscapes and ones with people I don't know. I got rid of two large garbage bags full. I'm down to one tote of photos that will eventually go into albums. 

The folks around here keep me feed well. Mary made sloppy joe dinner one night, Regina made potato and bacon soup one night and Mary Lou made chili one night. I went to the pantry on Tuesday and got a lot of fresh fruits and veggies and then MaryLou's granddaughter brought more, so my fridge is loaded down. 

I got a letter from DHS stating that they are cutting me off due to a paper not being turned in. I have a call into them - she is supposed to call me back today about it. 

I had to go to Reading to pick up my packages. They haven't started forwarding my mail till just yesterday. I got my flamingo shower curtain in the mail and a couple baskets with flamingoes on them as well. They look really nice in my bathroom. 

John, Mary's brother is a hoot and a half. He is so funny. Between MaryLou, Regina, Margaret, Mary and John, I found some friends. We talk and laugh all the time. Trouble seems to find MaryLou, bless her heart, she is such a giving and caring person yet, people seek her out to be mean to her here. I don't understand it at all. She is so not deserving of the attitudes she gets from some of the people here. Margaret is the sweetest one of the bunch, soft spoken and kind. She just lost her son a month ago and is reeling from that loss. I'm not too sure what to make of Regina. She's big a brassy. She lost her boyfriend about 4 months ago and was in a car accident about a month ago. Maybe if I met her before all this happened to her I might be able to peg her better, but she talks a lot of loss and suffering constantly. Mary is the caretaker of the group. She makes sure everyone has what they need, and will go to the store, and take folks to doctors appointments. She's John's sister. Then there is John who just makes me feel good and laugh a lot. My friends that welcomed me in with open arms. 

Regina just gave me a blood pressure cuff, because mine is giving me weird readings. I have to call the doctor here shortly and let her know my blood pressure has been high. 

John and I had a nut war with plastic spoons. It was honestly the best fun I've had in a very long while. We laughed like little kids for the 14 minutes of shooting at each other. Too funny, silly but fun. 

August 1, 2020

I washed a load of clothes today, folded them and put them away. I ran to the store for smokes and gas and to drop off a box of frames I had for the Goodwill. 

I ate a frozen meal for dinner and had homemade peach shortcake for dessert. 

I took a bunch of eBay pictures. I'm going to post them after I vacuum tomorrow. For some reason I keep putting it off. 

It rained pert near all day today, so no one was outside today. 

91,332 cases of Corona Virus and 6,257 deaths in Michigan as of today. I paid $2.03 at the pump today in gas. 

August 1, 2020

Up at 5 this morning after going to bed at 1 last night. I see a nap in the near future. I put all my ads on eBay, and a couple on Facebook.  

I vacuumed the floor and swept the floor. I hung out in the rain a bit, and visited with the gang some too. I shared some candybars with them tonight. 

It's 10:00 and I'm hitting the bed. 

91,332 cases of covid and 6,457 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is still $1.99 - $2.16

August 3, 2020

I got up at 1:00 last night and couldn't go back to sleep till about 6:30 this morning after taking a xanax and a trazodone. I woke up at noon feeling lousy. groggy and not at all myself. Took till about 3:00 for me to get right. 

I put some things on facebook and ebay last night while I couldn't sleep. I sold my tripods and backdrop holder for $40 tonight, so I have money to go garage saleing with Mike on Thursday. 

I hung out outside with MaryLou, Mary, John, Margaret, and Regina. MaryLou made cabbage rolls for me for dinner. She made a huge porcupine meatball too. I ate that for dinner and saved the cabbage rolls. Then Mary came down with noodles and beef for everyone. I put mine in the fridge and just ate it at 9:30. 

I love that we take care of each other around here. 

I'm going outside for a smoke here in a bit, I'm starting my chantix tomorrow on my dad's birthday. He would have been 88 tomorrow had he lived. 

91,761 cases of Covid and 6,457 deaths on Michigan as of today. 

August 4, 2020

Covid is still rampant in Michigan. There are petitions going around to repeal Governor Whitmer's mandates. I don't know how I feel about that. I guess I'm a fence sitter. On one hand I understand the mandates set in place, but on the other hand I still don't see the great reasoning for it. Masks are proven not to work, yet we are mandated to wear them. Bars are serving outside only for the near future, social gatherings inside are limited to 100 and outside to 250. Schools are working out ways to reopen in the fall. Kids with last names starting A-L going to school Monday and Tuesday with 3 days of homeschooling and kids that start with M-Z go to school Thursday and Friday with homeschooling the other three days. I don't know how that is going to work for working parents. Kids in grades K-5 will wear face shields and kids in grades 6-12 will wear masks. I got out of teaching at the right time, that's for sure!

Today is my dad's 88th heavenly birthday. 

August 9, 2020

Up at 3:20 this morning. A lot has happened since I wrote last. Michael came out and we went to the 127 yard sales. we hit 25 yard sales and bought a few things to sell on ebay. 

Around the apartment buildings there is much drama, it's like middle school around here. Mary Lou is mad at Mary, Regina, and Margaret for not sticking up to Debbie. I was the one who spoke up to Debbie and asked her about her friend who called MaryLou a fucking cuntface a dozen times. Crazy, but the strain is really affecting everyone.  MaryLou made stuffed cabbage rolls twice for me. Mary made scalloped potatoes and ham dinner one night, and Mary Lou is making spare ribs tonight. They keep me well fed around here!

I started taking Chantix last night. I want to start on the no smoking journey again. I cough so much, and sometimes it's hard to catch my breath. I hate that I just can't lay them down and be done with them.

We are on our 5th month of quarantining and wearing masks. The governor has mandated that people aged 2 and older must wear a mask at all times when indoors and if in a gathering where social distancing is feasible. That means all those babies going to Head Start this year will be wearing masks all day long...

I have to wear a mask coming in and going out of the apartment building. Hal who lives next to me may have covid. He was toted off in an ambulance 2 days ago. 

My blood pressure has been on the rise lately. 151/90 the other day, 141/72 today. 

I went to the ENT specialist. I have to go to Jackson on the 17th @ 5 and get a CT scan on my sinuses. 

I sold one of my art pieces on Ebay. I got it and another package I sold ready to ship. 

August 10, 2020

Woke up today with a sour stomach. I took a nap and woke up feeling better. I didn't do much today but visit with my neighbors, talked to Michael a couple of times and talked to Bob the Manager about my grandchildren coming for a weekend. HE SAID YES! So weekend after next I'll get them. 

Michael and I are planning an overnight trip to South Haven on the 25 and 26 of August. It should be a great time.  

96,726  cases of covid and 6,519 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

August 11, 2020

I took back my change without my quarters and I had 65.80 worth of change. I bought my last 4 packs of smokes and have money to take to South Haven when we go. I plan on quitting when the smokes are gone. 

I took a shower, dried my hair and brushed it out. Everyone commented on how beautiful it is - even John told me he liked it like that. 

I visited with my neighbors some today. 

Mary in 218 gave me a set of commodities which had loads of canned fruits and veggies, rice, cheese, broccoli, plums, apples, beef stew, oatmeal, cereal, and so much more, and Jon in 216 gave me some cheese and chicken patties. People around here love to get free food - me included!

Having a sub from walmart for dinner tonight with a plum. 

I have to remember to ask Scott about my dad's gun. I couldn't keep it here, so Michael took it home with him. I want to see if Scott wants it. 

John makes me laugh with his adorkable antics. He called me tonight to see if I was ready for a walnut war. We sat and flicked walnuts at each other. I won. lol 

I did a load of laundry, folded them and put them away. 

97,306 cases of covid and 6,526 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

August 12, 2020

Up at 3:20 this morning. Can't fall back to sleep, maybe later. 

I made a shopping list and will go to Wal-Mart at 7 when they open.  I didn't do shopping because I fell asleep. I went later and got my sugar free iced tea, some cheese, spaghetti sauce, a cake mix and frosting and a few other things. I spent $29 dollars. 

August 13, 2020

I woke up with a hugely sore right hip, it made me miserable all day. I slept a lot today. I didn't do anything else but sleep eat and take ibuprofen all day. 

99,856 cases of corona virus and 8,555 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is $2.13

August 14, 2020

I slept all night! Up at 8:00!! I had coffee with my neighbors and did my dishes. I feel great today, slight hip pain. I think I just slept on it wrong. I sold something on eBay and need to go to the post office and drop it off. I'm making enchiladas for dinner for the next few nights. Then again I might give some to MaryLou and John. 

I did share them with MaryLou and John. MaryLou wants me to make then for her daughter. She loved it. 

Then at about 6:30 Mary brought Stuffed brats down for everyone. I LOVE THEM so I'll have it later tonight or tomorrow. 

I've been watching TV, but it's been a rather boring day. I went to the post office to mail a package and to the gas station to get MaryLou some smokes. 

I need to start writing again. I used to love to write, and I was good at it. This piece is from 2008. I was tasked with writing a story about the following picture. This is what I came up with:

No Better Life

It was the summer of my sixteenth year. In just four months and three days I would be 17. I came to the city to fulfill my dreams. No more will I get up before dawn and help momma make the biscuits for the farmhands. I was going to be somebody. I stole away all the money I had made selling honey at the county fair for the past three years, ever since I heard my daddy talking to Harold Maynard’s pa. I heard that conversation. I was supposed to be shucking bushels of corn on the porch, but the porch made me sticky with sweat under my new tits, (Lordamighty I hated when them things busted out of my chest. Momma said it was normal, but at the time I didn’t believe her) so I took to the barn where it was cool, writing secrets in my notepad. "They’d make a handsome couple." "My Harold will treat her right good", then my daddy’s voice of reason, "When she turns 17. I want her growd up a’fore a man takes her". I know I should have stayed but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to marry Harold Maynard. Being Mrs. Harold Maynard was not who I wanted to be. I wanted to taste something more than this farm's dirt had to offer me. I was scared, sure I was. The trembling showed in the letter I left on my pillow for momma. I would miss her most. 

I had rode on that bus for nearly three days, eating out of the basket I had packed and cleaning up in the ladies room at the stations and diners along the way. I wrote in my notebook about the times I would have in the city. I struck up a conversation with a real nice lady with a baby in her arms. She was taking her little baby home to visit her mother. Her mother lived in the big city, and this lady was born and raised right here in this big city. Come to find out she had moved out to the bleak place I was running from. She had married a farmer and was loving being a farmer’s wife, and raising farmer’s kids. I looked at her hands. They looked just like mine. Calloused and cracked from hard work and more hard work. Odd that we would come together on the bus ride. Two souls with contradicting dreams. I wanted what she had, she wanted what I had. It was inconceivable to me that anyone would want that life. 

The bus rolled into town at 7:50 in the morning. I had never seen the city before ‘cept for in the magazines at the dime store in our dusty little town. It made the night look like day. Lights twinkling in the morning mist. Cars and busses lining the streets. Buildings taller than old man Lyman’s silo. His silo was the tallest in nine counties, but these building touched the sky. My word, I thought, wait till I write momma about the buildings. The bus driver pulled to a curb and stood up, stretching his back and scratching his head. The smell of a bus is unmistakable. To me it was a smell that filled me with excitement. I collected my suitcases from where he put them at the curb and headed to the diner I saw as we pulled into town. My face lifted high, my spirts lifted higher, I was ready to make my mark in life. 

I opened my pocketbook and put a couple of quarters on the counter to pay for my pie and coffee. The waitress directed me to the boarding house for women. I was taking in the sights. I collected a newspaper on my walk. Fourteen city bocks sounded like a long walk, but in reality it weren’t no further that where the cows hang out at the back fence. Miss Mitzi’s Boarding house was a small yellow house with bright red flowers flanking the windows. My first thought as I looked at it was, sunshine. I took a deep breath and knocked at the door. Miss Mitzi answered. She had a quick smile and after I told her about the waitress sending me to her she showed me the room. All through the walk and tour of the house I heard the rules. "No men. Ever. Rent due on Wednesday. Not Thursday. No rent paid, no room no board. Period. Bathroom is shared, be quick. Roster for cooking and cleaning is posted in the kitchen. Everyone pitches in. No exceptions." I sorta stopped listening. I wanted to take a bath, put on my Sunday dress and shoes and go get me a job. Miss Mitzi looked at me and gave me an odd little smile. I wasn’t really sure what she wanted to say, but she shrugged her shoulders and with a quick laugh she said, "You might last out the month before you run home to momma." 

I found the Tribune Building just where Joanie said it would be. She was a dear at the diner. I had tuna sandwich on rye bread for lunch with a Vanilla Coke. I wanted to splurge and celebrate. I never ate Tuna on Rye, even though we had a diner in our town nearby, daddy said it was sinful to waste our money buying food in a diner when we had all we needed on the farm. I felt rebellious and a little naughty as I ate the last crumbs of my sandwich. I paid for my meal and waved as Joanie wished me luck. I had to be very careful with the money I had left. I had paid Miss Mitzi for two weeks and bought 2 meals at the diner and a newspaper, all in one day. I only had half of the money from my honey stash left. I prayed I could find work at the Tribune. 

There wasn’t. No matter that I could write. There was nothing I could do to convince that woman to let me talk to Mr. Harmon. He hired everyone Joanie told me. I couldn’t get past the woman who answered the phones. I told her I would do anything they had for me to do. Nothing. She just stared at my hands. I tried to hide the calluses behind my pocketbook, but she knew I was just the daughter of a farmer, raised on a farm. She told me I belonged down at the 'chicken farm'. I was humiliated and embarrassed. Now what? 

I went into everyone of the buildings on that street. No one was interested in a little ol' cowpoke of a girl working for them. It was heading toward dark when I turned the corner by the diner. I didn’t expect to see Joanie, her shift would be long over by now. I walked back to the boarding house taking my time to think the situation over. I climbed in bed on my first night away from home, away from momma and cried myself to sleep. I was alone in the big city. Just where I wanted to be. I was scared. I wanted to look out my window and see the tree that had my old tire swing on it being pushed by the breeze. Instead there were cars honking and people walking the streets making noises all night long. Once I woke up to a siren rushing by. Was there a dream here for me? I slept a fitful night that first night. 

I finally found work in a factory. I’m disgraced beyond words to say what my job was. I plucked chickens in a cannery. At the furthest reaches of the city there were factories. Joanie had mentioned them to me telling me to steer clear of them. After three weeks of no luck, I was out of money and nearly out of options. I just knew I would be one of the fine ladies that I saw walking into the shops uptown. I would wear high heels and lipstick to work ever yday. Instead I trudged myself down to the chicken farm as it’s was called round the city and I pulled out the feathers from hot wet dead birds. I got paid enough to pay Miss Mitzi every Wednesday, and had enough left over to buy notebooks and an occasional piece of pie and coffee at the diner. 

On my seventeenth birthday I bought a bus ticket. It took me nearly three days, but I walked up past the barn and smelled the dirt. Ain’t nothing in this world that smells like that. It smelled like home. Daddy saw me. He walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder, he looked me up and down, and then looked me in the eye. He said, "You’re home." I said, "I’m home." I walked up the back steps and opened the screen door. Momma was lifting a ham out of the oven and after she put it on the table she turned and looked at me. I put my suitcases down and waited for her to say something to me. She came over to me and hugged me. I hugged her fierce. When she let go of me she looked me up and down. She said, "I knew you’d come home." I didn’t know what to say. I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "I’m home." I put my suit cases on my bed and walked back into the kitchen tying an apron on as I went. There were farmhands to feed. 

It’s hard for me to look at those old notebooks and recognize me in them anymore. I think sometimes that I wrote about someone else all those years ago. My husband and I have taken over farming daddy’s land. Momma helps me out in the kitchen with the cooking. Daddy is outside with my kids. He loves to tell them stories of how he used to farm this land before all the newfangled equipment came along. Never once have we ever spoke of the time I left to find a better life. What I found in that excursion of my lifetime was there is no better life than farming this land, raising these children with love, being a good daughter to my parents and loving wife to my husband. I have to run now, I hear Harold Jr. slamming that old screen door ... his daddy ain’t far behind him, and I know they’re hungry. . . 

tjb© March 4, 2008

August 15, 2020

Up at 9 after a very restless night. Finally fell out about 3 in the morning. I went to the post office to drop off a package. Someone bought one of my photographs off of eBay where I'm selling them. This one was called, "Stairway to Heaven".  I love the lighting in this photograph, and the speck of light on the ground at the beginning of the staircase. I'm thrilled to pieces that somebody else loved the beauty in it enough to buy it. 

I went to the Wal-Mart to pick up the things I need to make enchiladas for MaryLou's family. She loved them so much, she said they are just like El Cerrito's enchiladas. I chopped the red and green peppers and the onion tonight, I'll put them together tomorrow for her. 

John had an outdoor concert of AC/DC tonight. It was a 2009 concert live from Australia they were replaying. He wanted the music loud enough to scare off the opposing "camps" people. (I'll talk more of this tomorrow) It worked, the show was only 30 minutes in when they left. I listened to three songs and came in to call Michael. 

100,724 cases of corona virus in Michigan and 6,566 deaths as of today. Gas is at $2.01

August 18, 2020

Michael came out on Sunday night. We went yard saleing and had fun. He is staying till tonight. He went with me on Monday to my CT Scan on my sinuses. We went to Cracker Barrel for dinner in Jackson. I had Pecan Pancakes with eggs and bacon, Michael had regular pancakes with eggs and sausage. He bought me a shredder for a house warming gift, along with a thick sharpie to get rid of my upc codes on boxes I use on eBay. 

Michael sat down with us last night and read jokes out of his joke book. John thought it was so funny, he wants me to write some down for him. So I will. 

I made Michael peanut butter fudge yesterday and am making him noodles to take home today. He loves that stuff.  

We went to Burger King tonight and I finally got my Whopper I been craving. 

Michael stayed to watch America's Got Talent with me tonight and then he left. I'm waiting for him to call me and tell me he made it home okay. He made it at midnight.

103,402 cases of Covid and 6,608 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

August 22, 2020

It's been a few days since I wrote on here. Nothing remarkable has happened. Just life. The one remarkable thing that happened is that I went and got the baby grands yesterday. I haven't seen the in so long with the C-19 going on. I'm keeping them for the weekend. 

Mary made me a meatloaf dinner the other day with fried green tomatoes and mashed potatoes and gravy. She made a peach cake to go with it all. It was as delicious as it sounds. 

I called John adorkable and he thinks it is the funniest thing. 

Becky is having a little trouble with her hand, she had a migraine and her hand went numb. It scared her enough to go to the doctors. They thought it was from the migraine and scheduled her an appointment with the neurologist. 

I have to wash the dishes and clean up the apartment today. It's 11:27 and Daisy is still sleeping. She was up at 5 and came back to bed about 9:30. 

I think Brody and Cloey grew 2 inches since I seen them! 

The kids were getting restless about 8 pm so we went outside and they ran their stink off for about an hour while Daisy played in the back of John's truck and we listened to a Bob Seger concert on WRKR. It was fun watching the kids play so hard. 

August 23, 2020

Up at 5 am and none of the kids are awake. There is something really wrong with this picture. I should be sleeping too!

I texted with Scott yesterday, he bought a 2019 Jeep Cherokee with 13,000 miles on it! He's been permanently laid off so he's searching for a new job, while he collects unemployment. He's buying and flipping things for some extra cash right now. He got a lot of Jurassic Park original toys and items for $200 and can flip it for $1800. Just gotta find the right buyer. 

I smoked my last cigarette today. I went down at 8:15 tonight to sit with my peeps, and I did fine. God grant me the strength, I want to be done! 

Mike and I are taking off for a couple days to go to South Haven and see the area. I have to make sure my camera batteries are both charged. 

Daisy smeared poop on the walls and slung dirty toilet water on the bathroom walls. I was able to get my bedroom walls clean, but I can get the bathroom walls clean no matter what I've used. She didn't spare my bedding, so it all got washed and bleached today too. Then I locked her out of my bedroom and she had a 45 minute meltdown. I was ready to pull my hair out, but I needed to stay calm to calm her. It took the better part of an hour to totally calm her. She turned back into her sweet joyous self and was singing and giggling and giving me kisses. She was happy to see her momma when she got here. 

106,044 Cases of Corona Virus and 6,655 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

August 24, 2020

Daisy splashed the toilet and spread dirty toilet water on the walls. I can not get it off no matter what I have tried. I need paint, Bob said he'd check to see if he had extra for me. 

I went down and watched John, MaryLou and Kathleen smoke and had no issues with it this morning. Yay!

I had a small stove fore yesterday. The burner pan was burning, so I put out the fire and had to scrub my stove today and wash the burner pans. I did a load of laundry and cleaned up the house today. 

I had a Donors Choose project get fully funded. The sent it to my house. 18 boxes of stuff! I can't wait to put together some packages and give them to Head Start. 

Michael is coming tonight and we are leaving on our holiday tomorrow morning. 

August 27, 2020

Whew what a whirlwind couple of days! We took off Tuesday to go to South Have and walked the streets in the rain. Mike bought me a Red Jasper Rock in the shape of a heart as a souvenir. Then we went down to feed the seagulls. I love that! We fed them stuff from our kitchens and we managed to feed them for about 30 minutes! At about 4:30 we went to eat at Venezia's Pizza Shop.  Mike got a 12" pizza and garlic bread, and I got an Italian panini. We took off to Saugatuk and looked around. We decided to start looking for a hotel and everything was sky high in Saugatuck so we took a drive to Holland. We found a Microtel in Holland for $69.19 a night after taxes and service fees. Not shabby, it was nice and we booked it for two days. We figured out what we wanted to do on Wednesday and Thursday. Then we watched America's Got Talent and went to bed. We got up Wednesday and headed out to Cenntenial Park in Holland to see the Wizard of Oz floral display. It was beautiful and unique. Then off to the library to see the Oz characters done in bronze. Then we went to a couple of thrift stores. I found a frame that fit a particular picture of me and mom I been wanting framed and a red tablecloth for my table. Then we went to the Windmill Gardens Island to see the windmill. We walked the gardens and it was hot hot hot! Then we found a few more thrift shops. In one of them I found the coolest slipper "Clogs" they look just like wooden shoes but are soft slippers! They are wicked cool! I found a new pair of flip flops since I wore my old ones out. These ones are blue. I also found Becca her Christmas present. It's and oak breadbox. It's gorgeous! and I got it for a song at $15.00! I found a coffee mug I liked too. We had dinner at HOG WILD BBQ and I got a half a chicken and Mike got pulled pork. Then we went to a frozen yogurt place and had dessert. Afterwards we ent to the hotel and worked a crossword together and watched the result show of America's Got Talent, and I went to bed straightaway. Today we got up at 9:30 and went to a thrift store after getting Mike his chocolate milk and me my coffee, tea and a small hamburger for breakfast. I found an adorable glass flamingo for 99 cents. Then we headed back to Saugatuck to the Dunes Ride. We took a Guided Dune Buggy Ride for 40 minutes all over the sand dunes. It was pretty awesome. We went zipping over the dunes, around corners and got out to explore the dunes. It was a lot of fun! We ate dinner at Kelvin & Co. Urban BBQ in Kalamazoo. We took the backroads all the way there and back and traveled 385.8 miles in all - all on the back roads of Michigan. 

110,343 cases of corona virus and 6,706 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

August 28, 2020

It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood. I sat outside soaking up the vitamin D a lot today. I took my $1600 donations to Head Start. I cleared off my table and put down the table cloth I bought at a Thrift store in Holland. It looks wonderful on my table. I had to go to the Rite Aid and pick up some Pepto Bismol for my stomach and diarrhea that has been plaguing me. I packaged up three things I sold on eBay while I was gone. I haven't got them labeled yet, but they are packaged. 

111,136 cases of corona virus and 6,712 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

August 29, 2020

Up at 4 this morning. My hip is killing me. I took some Tylenol and thought I'd lay back down, but I'm wide awake now. I haven't had any tummy trouble since I took the Pepto Bismol yesterday so that's good. I guess I'll know if it worked when I take a shit today. I've thought that my trots came from my nerves, but I been having them for over a month. Just when I think it's safe to fart....whammo! 

 

I have to get the packages I put together yesterday ready for the post office today. I have to straighten up my eBay stuff today too. 

I talked with Scott yesterday, he's having fun buying and selling stuff while he's laid off. He's looking for a job and will feel better as soon as he gets one. I'm confident that he'll not be without a job long. He's got desired skills and he's such a great people person. He and Lulu's going to be here on Oct 2 or 3 for 5 days. Mike and I are taking them to Frankenmuth on Oct 6th. We are going to go hang out at Becca's on the 5th. I'm getting excited to see them!

I went to the drug store and to the Goodwill store. I got prescriptions and Goodwill had nothing. 

It's 9:30 and I'm ready for bed. 

August 30, 2020

I woke up at 8. I haven't done much, my back went out this afternoon. I'll be at the pain clinic tomorrow if it keeps up. It's been awhile since I've had a treatment. I took a nap hoping it would be better afterwards to no avail. 

August 31, 2020

Back still out. Going to Pain Clinic at 3. Spent all day yesterday and today in bed. HURTS! 

Got a mega shot of Tareodal in my shoulder. Feeling some relief. I went from an 8 pain level to about a 4 pain level. Still in a lot of pain, but I was able to do some shopping at B&G Outlet store. I got T-Shirts to use my Cricut on. Then I stopped at Meijer and got some fruit, English muffins, some bakery and salads and cheeses. 

I got home and sat with my neighbors and called Michael to tell him how the doctors went. He shared his day with me and I came upstairs to put away my goodies. I'm munching on watermelon while I type tonight. The Back to the Future Trilogy is on the T.V. tonight Yeah me! Less pain, good fruit and good movies. 

112,526 cases of Corona Virus and 6,748 deaths in Michigan as of today. I saw gas that was $1.84 a gallon in Sturgis today. 

September 1, 2020

I went to bed at 1:45 last night and am up at 6:00. Back is still hurting, Hard to walk or get comfortable in the bed or the chair. Back in bed at 12 up at 4. It's not so bad in the bed. I'm going to beg the nurse at the Pain Clinic to let me come in tomorrow. 

September 2, 2020

No openings at the pain clinic today or tomorrow, I have to wait till the 22nd. I went to the er and got a shot and a pain pill. They wouldn't let me take any home, no script for some. Connie had some and gave me 16 of them to get me by. I thought that was so sweet of her. It helps a lot. Makes me real tired though. 

September 3, 2020

Up at 4:30. In pain. My hip decided to join the pain party. Took a Norco. Hoping it helps. Pain level stayed at about a 5 all day. Much better than the 8 or 9 it's been at. I even went outside and sat with my neighbors this evening. I slept some today. It's the most comfortable in the bed, laying on my right side seems to ease the pain. I was going to get in the shower today, but am a little afraid that I'll get stuck getting in or getting out. I decided to wait until Michael gets here to shower. He'll be here in 2 days. Yay! It's 10:30 and I'm going to bed.

114,468 cases of corona virus and 6,781 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is $1.96 at Citgo tonight. 

September 4, 2020

Up at 4:44 this morning, Ate an English Muffin and took a Norco, I'll be ready to go back to bed soon as the Norco's make me sleepy. I got up for the day at 10:30. I went outside for awhile and When I got back in there was a fucking cockroach on my coffee maker. A FUCKING COCKROACH!!! I gotta wait till Bob is off lunch to tell him, but I will tell him, and he'll do something about this! He brought me some Roach Gel, Spray, and Roach Hotels. I laid it all out and hopefully I won't get a massive amount of bugs in the house. 

I took a nap and when I woke up Marylou brought me barbeque ribs down for dinner. I went downstairs for a while to visit with my neighbors and Geneva and Mike pulled up to say hi. It was great seeing them! I talked to Becky and  to Jimmy today and I talked to my Michael. 

115,242 cases of corona virus and 6,791 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is $1.95 at Citgo tonight. 

September 5, 2020

I tried to do a little cleaning, but gave up on it because of the back pain, Michael came over at 10:40 last night. He is staying till Monday or Tuesday. 

September 8, 2020

I slept till noon today! Michael left last night about 10:00. He came on Saturday and stayed till Monday night. We did a little driving around and yard saleing yesterday. Not much as my back is still in dire straits. It feels better but I took some Norcos and Ibuprofen today. Going to take some more Ibuprofen in a half hour. I made a pot of cream of mushroom soup last night and shared it with my neighbors today. I made Michael drop noodles in chicken broth. He loves those. 

Juli came to get the puzzles for her kids today. She was telling me about schedules and classrooms today. I'm so very glad I'm not teaching anymore. Just listening to her talk was reminding me that I'm glad I'm retired. :-) 

September 9, 2020

John loved my mushroom soup, he wanted more. MaryLou gave him hers. Connie made beef ribs last night and Mary made chicken alfredo tonight for dinner for everyone. Tomorrow I hope I can cook for myself. 

I hung out with my neighbors today. I went downstairs twice. I was tired all day even though I slept in way late today. I watched the result show for America's Got Talent. The acts I had hoped would go through did, and the one I thought wouldn't did. 

I just came up from downstairs. I don't like smoking out there all by myself in the dark. I can't wait to be done with the whole lot of smoking. Period. 

118,902 cases of corona virus and 6,811 deaths in Michigan as of today. 

September 15, 2020

I got up this morning and went to the pantry for Connie1. I picked up a box for myself. There was a big chocolate cake in it and I took it downstairs and shared it with all my neighbors. I have a couple pieces left. I took a long nap today, I was so tired. I am watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy! tonight as I do every night. Later, during AGT I'm going to make a pot of baked beans. MaryLou has been wanting some baked beans. So I made them for her. 

September 16, 2020

I woke up in the middle of the night for several hours again last night. I fell back asleep about 7 this morning and slept in til 1. I took my meds and ate an English muffin, but I've been nauseated all day. I laid down with a tummy ache and Scott called to tweek his itinerary. I told him I was going to call Katie and Missy and see if they could come to Frankenmuth with us on the 6th. We are going to Becky's on the 5th. It's 5:30 in the evening and I still feel yucky. I think I'm going to make toast to eat, or a PB&J. PB&J won out over toast. 

September 21, 2020

Mike and I went to the Uncle John's Cider Mill today in St. John's, Michigan. It was about a 2 hour drive to get there. Mike took a great shot of me there in a sunflower field.  We went through the pumpkin patch and the apple orchard as well. We ended the trip with cider and doughnuts. We came back to my apartment and I made dinner for Mike. I made him drop noodles, and MaryLou made a mess of liver and onions and passed it out to her neighbors. Yummmy. 

After dinner we went outside and visited with my neighbors till Wheel of Fortune came on and after Jeopardy! I got my apartment readied to be fumigated tomorrow morning at 8:30. 

September 22, 2020

They inspected the apartment, they are going to leave bait and traps for the cockroaches, he (the bug man) says that he saw no evidence that I have them. I think dead bugs is evidence. I killed one and one got away from me. I have only seen the two of them, but that was enough. So anyway, there was no need to ready the house for fumigation. It was just an inspection. 

Mike and I went to B&G Discount in Schoolcraft, and on the way back we stopped to see my babygrands. I missed them something fierce! I visited with them for about an hour and a half and we left. Daisy did okay with me leaving. 

I came home and made the hugest hamburgers! They were delicious! I used 2 and 1/4 pounds of hamburger to make 4 burgers. Yikes! But we loved them! We went downstairs after dinner and all my friends were downstairs together so I asked Mike to take a photo of us all. I think it turned out pretty nice. Kathleen, Me and Mary are in the back row, Mary Lou, John Margaret and Regina are in the front row. I made a copy for everyone. This is the group of people who welcomed me here without a bat of the eye. They made me a part of their group and I love them for that. 

I have to go to the pain clinic tomorrow at 2 to get my injections from Dr. Bez. 

130,357 cases of corona virus and 6,997 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is $2.19 in town. 

9/25/2020

I got up at 6:30 this morning. I'm packing a bag and heading to Michael's. His niece is getting married tomorrow and I'm totally being dragged along as his girlfriend. I hate shit like this. My nerves get the better of me. 

I ate a couple of eggs and toast this morning. My pan is finally biting the big one for egg cooking. I need to find another one to cook my eggs in. 

I think I might dye my hair today before I go to Mike's. 

I took out the trash and washed the dishes and visited with my neighbors for a while this morning, while I drank coffee. I needed milk and bread and John ran up to the Wal-Mart's to get me some. I really didn't want to go to the store. So kind of him. I'm watching The Price Is Right and then off to the bathroom to dye my hair. 

September 28, 2020

I got my pension in today and paid my bills. I have 199.97 left after paying my rent, Meemic for mine and Becca's auto insurance, AT&T, spectrum, MIgas on the Reading house, consumers energy on the Reading house. and Globe Life. Next month I shouldn't have an AT&T bill because I qualify for an Obama Phone. I'll get 350 minutes, free texting and 3 gigs of data for free each month. I'm just waiting on the sim card to get here. It's through safe link. 

Scott and Lulu will be here on Saturday. Scott is asking Jaisa to marry him on Wednesday at the "Bean" in Chicago. I'm so damn happy for him! 

Mike and I went to his nieces wedding this past weekend. She was a beautiful bride. That's Mike's two nephews with Katy. Mike and I cleaned up pretty well too. 

I spent the weekend with Michael and we went out to eat on Friday at a Mexican restaurant and we had breakfast at the Family diner in Adrian. He'll be here on the 6th and spend the night. We'll be heading off to Frankenmuth on the 6th and hopefully my cousins Katie and Missy will be able to join us for dinner. I'm looking forward to seeing Michael again. I miss him when he's not around. 

September 20, 2020 I quit smoking for good. I'm so glad I made that decision. 

134,373 cases of corona virus and 7,044 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is $2.19 in town. 

September 30, 2020

Scott asked Jaisa to marry him and she said yes. He waited till they were in Chicago to ask her. He is such a sweet man. I'm so proud of the man he is. I raised him right. Hopefully the wedding will be soon so they can start having babies! My heart is soaring for him.  

I'm excited to see them on Saturday! I took the turkey out of the freezer today to thaw. I'm making a Thanksgiving dinner for them when they get here. I'll make turkey, potatoes & gravy, corn, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce and cornbread. I'm making a cake and an apple pie to go along with it. 

Becky has been waiting for a month to hear about getting into a new apartment. She found out that she was denied today. My heart is breaking for her. She is going to appeal their decision and I will help her write it. 

13,8014 cases of Corona Virus and 7,083 deaths in Michigan as of today. Gas is holding at $2.19. 

October 1, 2020 

Governor Whitmer announced yesterday that she is extending the state of emergency for the state another month. She should just call it to the end of the year and have it over with. 

I got up at 4:30 and started crafting at 6:00. I was having my morning coffee and making a new wreath for my door. I thought it turned out really cute. Everything  came from the Dollar Tree except the hot glue, I already had that.

I'm getting really excited to see Scott and Lulu. 

October 4, 2020

Scott and Jaisa got here at 6:27 last night. We sat down for a Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. I loved sitting at the table with them! This morning we got up and got around to go to Meckley's Fruit Flavor Farms Cider Mill and Pumpkin patch. Jaisa and Scott were real sports and let me take a gazillion photos of them. They are such a beautiful couple. They are off to Reading while I edited the photos and make dinner. Enchiladas tonight. It is soooooooooo good to see my son. So very good. Tomorrow we head off to Becky's to see her and Mike and the kids. 

October 6, 2020

We went to Becky's yesterday, she made a fabulous dinner. We walked to the park and played with the kids there. Lulu took a good photo of me and my kids. We are heading off to Frankenmuth this morning. Missy, Mary, Uncle Kenny and Aunt MaryJane are meeting us there. First stop will be Tony's famous for their one pound BLTs! Jaisa is getting ready, I still need a shower. Mike is downstairs smoking, and Scott is watching American Pickers. It is amazing how very small my apartment became with the 4 of us here...but it's the BEST! I'm loving having Mike, my son and Lulu here! 

October 15, 2020

Well, I started coughing on the way to Tony's in the car with Scott and Jaisa and Michael. It wasn't much, just a little cough. Scott left on Wednesday and called me on Thursday and told me I got him sick. On a whim he took a covid-19 test. He turned out positive. I had been getting a little sicker as the days progressed, a horrible headache, snotty nose, thick mucus in my throat, a cough and very sore eyes. I went to the Walgreens and I got my test results today, I have Covid-19. I'm quarantined for the next 2 weeks, until the 29th of October.  I potentially infected my entire family. I went to Cloey's 13th Birthday Party and had it. I went to Frankenmuth with my family and had it. I gave it to Scott. I may have given it to Michael. 

I've been holding steady for the past 5 days or so, not getting better, but not getting worse either. John went today to get me some musinex. 

I called Mike to tell him and he shared it with his boss. He can't come to work until he gets tested. He's losing work because of my case of Covid-19. This so totally sucks. So far Uncle Kenny and Aunt MaryJane have tested negative. Missy gets tested on Monday. 

John and Kathaleen are getting tested tomorrow, I'm not sure when MaryLou is getting tested.

I called the doctor and they said to go to the ER if I have trouble breathing, my apartment building is on lock-down because of my case of Covid-19. 

154,455 cases of Covid in Michigan as of today, and I am one of them. 7,268 deaths due to Covid. I am NOT going to be one of them. 

October 18, 2020

Covid-19 update: I'm still running a low-grade fever. I am fully congested in my sinuses and throat, mildly in my lungs but I am able to cough (Hack) up the gunk in my lungs. I can taste and smell somewhat, I have a constant headache and sleep a lot. My chief complaint is that my eyeballs hurt. I am at day 12 of having the virus and day 4 of knowing that I have it. I will be in isolation quarantine until the 29th and then will get another test to prove negative. My neighbors (God Love Them All) are taking good care of me. I get a knock on the door and will find a plate of food, or bananas and they call and text every day. I'm feeling hopeful that this won't last much longer, but so far it's been steady, no better and thank God no worse.

Scott got Covid-19 from me and today my sweet Lulu told me she tested positive too. Michael will get his test results tomorrow. 

161,105 cases of Covid in Michigan as of today, and I am one of them. 7,340 deaths due to Covid. I am NOT going to be one of them. 

October 21, 2020

I been sleeping so much that my sleep pattern is thrown off whack, its 2:30 and I am up and wide awake. 

I'm starting to feel better. There for awhile I was steady with all my symptoms. for 13 days I stayed steady and feeling awful. Yesterday I felt better. I even felt perky for about 20 minutes. I still have congestion in my sinuses and throat, but it's not like it was. 

Scott is on the mend as well. my sweet Lulu is in the middle of her symptoms. She caught it so late. 

Michael's test results came back negative, as did Mary Lou, John and Kathaleen's tests. Thank God I didn't give it to anyone else. Becca's kids are out of school for another week, Melissa and Bear and Becky's other sister in law Tasha are out of work for another week, because I exposed them. Quarantining is hard. It's been a week tomorrow that I have been in full isolation. 

Mary went to the Rite Aid and got my 'scripts. John went to the Walgreen's and picked me up some Mucenex. Mary Lou brought me by bananas one day and liver and onions another day. Yesterday John went to the pantry for me and Mary Lou brought by a big bowl of spaghetti with hamburger and chorizo in it. 

On Friday of last week I was reading a book at my desk and I found a bedbug. I put it in a bag so I could show Bob the super. He confirmed it was a bed bug and gave me spray to spray down my couches and my bed. I have to Do my bedclothes in the dryer and wash a couple of pieces as well. I'm devastated about this bit of news. I haven't seen any in the bed, or anywhere else. I haven't got bites on me either. And boy, have I been looking! I only found that one and a tiny one when I was reading a barrowed book from the community room. Bob said they are on the move because they did a mass spraying in the building. So far I've been here 4 months and have seen 2 cockroaches and 2 bed bugs. I have cockroach glue traps that have been out over a month and they remain empty. I'm going to have to see about getting some bedbug traps. 

I want to make some chicken and dumpling for dinner tonight. I have the chicken legs thawing in the fridge, and I got some fresh carrots from the pantry yesterday. I still have a couple onions, and can use a half of one for the chicken and dumplings. 

I'm going to get a cup of coffee and play my Facebook games. 

I cleaned out the refrigerator, took out the garbage and have my stock ready for chicken and dumplings. The chicken, onions and carrots are simmering together until the carrots and onions are cooked. Then I'll add the dumplings. 

Covid Update: I think I turned a corner with this dreaded virus. I still have all the same symptoms, just to a lesser degree. Thank God! I'm feeling well enough to cook some chicken and dumplings today. It my ultimate comfort food. My sweetheart of a neighbor Mary Lou has kept me in hot meals, and is grocery shopping for me tomorrow. John has done running for me to the drug store and the pantry, and Mary took a trip to the drug store for my prescriptions. I can't thank them enough.  Michael made my Sweetest Day memorable last Saturday. Thank you Michael! I have had phone calls and texts of well-wishers and offers to fetch things I might need. Thank you Patti. I don't like being cooped up in my apartment, but I hate the fact that I might give this virus to someone else. So far Scott is the only one who got it from me (Jaisa got it from him) even Michael's test came back negative. Six adults are out of work until the 26th because I exposed them and six children are out of school until the 26th because I exposed them all at Cloey's birthday party, when I thought I had a cold. This is why this virus is so crippling. It is far reaching, and the Health Department has very tight control over it. As for me I am finally on the mend, although my confinement is till the 29th.

October 24, 2020

I am feeling fine now. Just really tired. This virus does wipe you out. Scott is still feeling achy and tired too. My sweet Lulu is going back to work on Tuesday! I hope she manages it okay. I have to do something about my phone. I'm running out of minutes and my number don't work in my house. I'm using Michael's Obama Phone but even at 1000 minutes a month it isn't enough. I've read 11 books during my isolation, not listened to, but read ELEVEN books! I'm bored. That is a good thing, Since the 6th I wasn't feeling well enough to be bored, today I am. I sold one of my photographs on eBay and mailed it out today. I sneak downstairs every night way late to get my mail, and last night I laid out my package for the mail lady to pick up. I wear gloves and my mask when I ship things so I'm not spreading this virus to strangers. I think I'm going to go out tomorrow to shop, depending on how I feel. Uncle Kenny and Aunt Mary Jane sent me a beautiful vase of flowers as a pick me up. it did, it worked. The balloon says get well soon. It's filled with roses, carnations, daisies, two types of lilies, purple heather, ferns and a peach ribbon wrapped around it with a lace ribbon around that. It really is pretty. 

The presidential elections are in a week or so and the debates were a joke. I'm voting for Biden because I don't like Trumps actions at all. I'm not certain I'm going to like some of Biden's taxation or health care, but anyone and most anything is better than Trump. 

I'm watching Dateline as I write this tonight. It's one of my favorite shows. 

172,122 cases of Covid in Michigan as of today, and I am one of them. 7,484 deaths due to Covid. I am NOT one of them. 

October 26, 2020

I think I'm finally done with this Coronavirus. I feel myself today. I'm still tired, but I can take naps. I'm able to get my retesting tomorrow to be sure I'm over it, but by the way I feel I know it will come back negative. The apartment building has me on isolation for two weeks from when I tested positive, so Thursday I'll be able to go about my business outside my apartment. I'm so thankful that it never hit my lungs. I had it all in my sinuses and throat. It's a rough virus to have, and it took 19 days for me to get through it, but here I am on the other side! 

October 27, 2020

I went to get a retest today. I'm praying I'm negative. I feel like it. Two days in a row and I feel great. Still tired but I didn't take a nap today! I did go to the Walgreen's for my test and to the Boost Mobile to get a phone that freakin' works in my house and that ain't going to break the bank to do it! It cost $100.09 to get signed up, and had that much on my Paypal card. Got it from all the "stuff" I've been selling lately. Then I got on the phone and asked my Obama phone carrier to give me a new phone number, she said she couldn't so I asked her to end my subscription with them and I got online and got another Obama phone company and this one will send me a free smartphone along with the free minutes, text and data. I was using SafeLink through TracPhone and now I'm I'll be using Assurance Wireless through Virgin Mobile. I'll get 350 minutes and 3GB's of data each month for free. 

My favorite series came back on. The two hour season premiere is on and I'm typing during commercials. "This Is Us" it's one of the best shows! I've been watching for the past 4 years. 

179,669 cases of Covid in Michigan as of today, and I was one of them. 7,552 deaths due to Covid. I am NOT one of them. 

October 30, 2020

So yesterday I slept until 4:00 in the afternoon after going to bed at 1:30 at night. That's 15 hours of straight sleep. Today I woke up at 12:15 after going to bed at 12:30 last night. 12 hours and 15 minutes of sleep. I guess I need it, I must still have remnants of Covid-19 even though the test came back negative yesterday. The health nurse from the Health Department here is Branch County told me that it may take up to 90 day for all the symptoms to be gone, even though the virus is out of  the body. What a crazy virus! 

I've been reading A LOT! It's like I've been starved for the written word. Since I was I college I didn't read for pleasure. The texts took all my time and were not pleasurable. That was 9 year of not reading a novel and another two years not thinking about it. Since I was sick and had nowhere to go, and feeling like doing nothing, I read. 12 novels in 14 days. I feel good now and still want to read. I've read 3 novels in the past 3 days that I've felt good. I remembered why I don't buy books - when I read I eat them like candy. I have to get a library card. I have gone through the library here at the apartments, and read most of what I like. 

I ordered my sweet Lulu Green Tea Latte for Christmas and it came in so I have to go downstairs and get it. I'll visit with John and Marylou while I'm down there. It's getting kind of cold to visit outside, so I won't stay too long. 

October 31, 2020

Halloween. This is the first time in over 35 years that I'm not passing out goodies. 

I have a UTI urinary tract infection. I've been getting them a lot it seems. This is the third one since I had my bladder sling put in. This one is paining me in my belly though along with the burning pee and pain when I'm done peeing. I'll go to the Hillsdale Walk- In clinic today for some antibiotics. I'll suffer through the next few days till they kick in. 

I wrote that at 3:30 am I was able to go back to bed at 5 and slept till 8:30 but the pain has woke me up. Somehow I think my bladder is infected too. It feels like I'm in labor, it hurts so much. 

I went to the doctors and there is blood in my urine, he gave me a antibiotic and told me about a pain killer I could buy over the counter. The combo seems to have worked as I'm not screaming when I pee anymore and the pain I thought felt like labor pains at 3 am has settled into a dull throb. By tomorrow after a couple more doses of antibiotics I think I'm be on my way to recovery. 

Michael came over tonight, we are going to Darlington Holiday Store in Fort Wayne. Yay!

November 2, 2020

Only one more day till election day! Thank GOD! These politicians are unmerciful in their onslaught of bad campaigning. It's cut throat and I for one am weary to the bone of it. 

Michael and I went to Darlington, I found a bunch of stocking stuffers and a few things for me. We also took our time and went to several thrift stores in Fort Wayne. We ate at the Golden Corral. 

Today we are taking pictures of 4 totes of Michael's stuff, so he can start putting it on eBay. I'm thinking if we do it without taking a break it will take us an hour per tote. He can hang the item and I can shoot it. I'll probably take more than 2,000 photos with everything he brought over. 

I'm up at 6, gonna start a new book today, a sequel to one I read last week. I been eating these books like a starving woman! 

My UTI/Bladder infection is soooooo much better. The pain pills the doctor told me about really did help. That and the antibiotics. 

November 6, 2020

The election ads are gone, the pollsters phone calls are gone. It's not yet decided if we will have a incumbent president or a new president elect. Donald J. Trump is trailing former Vice President Joe Biden by a significant margin in the national polls. All the states are still not in and Trump is throwing a fit about absentee ballots. He's throwing law suits on all the states he lost to, and asking the supreme court to come in and bail him out so he'll win. He even went on national news and said he won the election. He's simply a whacko who happened to make it big in real estate. I voted for Biden, he was my only choice as a Democrat that I had, unless you counted Jo Jorgenson, the Libertarian Candidate who averaged 2.8%  of the votes across the states. I am a staunch Democrat though. I don't know when I knew it, but I have always sided on the issues with the democratic party. 

I wouldn't mind having Trump again in the White House if we had to, but his Republican Party is a white supremacy, AK-47 toting, militia driven, thug society Republican Party.  It's ugly in its nature and so unhealthy for this worn, torn, pandemic rotted society. During the first Presidential Debate, Trump and Biden discussed the violence and social upheaval that has swept the streets of cities like Portland, Oregon, and Kenosha, Wisconsin, following a summer of protests against racial injustice and police brutality. When pressed to condemn white supremacists, Trump asked for the name of a specific group. Biden said "Proud Boys," a group that the Southern Poverty Law Center, a liberal advocacy organization, has designated as a hate group. Trump responded, "Proud Boys – stand back and stand by." This is Trump's America. This is the design he chose. Shameful. 

I went over to Lee's yesterday and worked on the computer. I updated the website and created an ad to send out to all his customers. I made a post card, or got it started. I need to go over and take pictures today, good ones, not those half-assed ones I did yesterday, and get them on the web and on the postcards. 

I need to call the hospital and see if I can donate plasma now that I've had Covid-19. It can help others that are in dire straits recover from the virus, but since it's a virus it tends to change over time so I have just a slight window of time to donate. Covid-19 is on the rise in Michigan again. Masks are mandatory in public spaces. Hand washing and hand sanitizer is important. Social distancing is a thing now, standing or sitting 6' apart. I love that aspect of the precautions we need to take, I have always social distanced myself from others, sometimes not physically, but mentally - all the time. 

218,263 cases of Covid-19 and 7,833 deaths since the start of the pandemic back in March. March 12, 2020 Michigan had 2 confirmed cased, on the 13th it had 12. Now we have passed the 200K mark. Gas is holding steady at $1.89 a gallon.

I'm going to Michael's on Sunday to help him get eBay items put on. I thought I could get the items that we took photos of on the website. I am giving myself a week to put on 400 items. I hope I can do it for him. He's going to be paying me a little bit, which will help for Christmas, even though I finished up yesterday for Michael I want to buy a few stocking stuffers for him. I got him a beautiful leather man purse so he can stop using the nasty blue Meijer bag, 2 sets of suspenders that should work better than the ones he has with buckles, these one have j hooks that go on the belt loops. I got him eBay tape, 4 rolls of it, and his Carnation Instant Breakfast in Sugar Free. I have a pen for his stocking so far. lol 

Scott is getting a tea shirt that says "I Conquered Half Dome", a box of specialty coffees and a $50 Starbucks card. Jaisa is getting a Tervis Mug, a tea cup and Starbucks Green Tea Latte and an ampersand (&). 

Becca's spoiled rotten and is getting too much stuff. A bread box and other things. Michael is getting a Wal-Mart gift card, I can't think of anything else to get him. 

The kids are getting clothes, underwear, socks, bras for Cloey, outfits. They each have a craft for blankets, and few other crafting items, books, games and a box of stocking stuffers. Daisy is getting 3 Mickey Mouse tapes and suckers for Christmas and some underwear for her birthday. My closet is exploding! 

November 8, 2020

Today I went to a barbeque with Mary Lou to her daughter Caryn's home. The food was great. I enjoyed being there. I came home and dug into my closet to see what all I needed to get for Christmas. Not much, I need to pick up Daisy some underwear and socks, and stocking candy, and a Gift Card for Becca's hubby Mike. 

Tomorrow is house cleaning day if I like it or not. My home is a mess, and I don't want to get complacent with it being this way. 

Yesterday I went to the movies with Susan. We saw “Let Him Go” I thought it was a chick flick, but it turned out to be an intense thriller. We met up with the Quincy gang for lunch. I had fun. Susan said next time she picks the movie. 

229,073 Covid cases in Michigan and 7,945 deaths since March 12, 2020. 

November 10, 2020

I'm going over to Lee's today to work on photos again. I'll get his post card completed today no matter what. This will be the third day of working on it. I went shopping with Marylou yesterday. We went to Wal-Mart and I got Milo's sugar free sweet tea x4, chocolate mint Twinkies, soup to go with a Campbell's cup for one of my friends for Christmas.  I finished up Christmas shopping for EVERYONE. I got Daisy socks and undies, and Mike his gift card and Marylou her Steelers cup. DONE! Tada! Now to start wrapping! :) 

I have been fooling with a photo for the past few days and finally got it where I want to print it. The right one is the original, and the left one is the retouched that I have been working on. I love how it turned out! I fooled with a bunch of  Lee's product photos as well. I took out the backgrounds of all his product photos so I can finish the postcard when I get there today. He said I earned a Chicken Parm Dinner for the work! That's HIGH compliment for Lee!

I'M having Marylou's liver and onions today for dinner. Super Yummy stuff! She makes it so well! 

November 11, 2020

Working for Lee today, I gave up on the old decrepit computer he has me work on and took photos and came home to post them to the web. His was driving me nuts so slow - and I had to unhook it from the internet every time I wanted to plug in my camera. CRAZY!  So here I sit fooling with photos! I love my job!

November 13. 2020

Friday the 13th in the year 2020 can't be good. We will see. I'm going over to Lee's today for a couple hours. I didn't go to his place yesterday. I did laundry instead. Today I am going to get my grandbabies and bring them home for the weekend. 

I have to do my dishes before I head off to get the kiddos this afternoon. 

November 17, 2020

Welp, Ol' Gretchen did it again. High schools and colleges are now virtual, restaurants are at take-out only, no gatherings of more than 2 families and 10 people at a time...yada, yada, yada. That means Brody has to do all his classes virtual and Cloey goes to school 2 days a week. Daisy stays on her 4 day schedule. 

I had the kids stay over this weekend. Daisy is so difficult to watch. She won't keep her clothes on at Brody is at an age where he doesn't need to be seeing his naked sister all the time. Brody and Cloey, for being teenagers, were angels here. I didn't hear a bad word out of either of their mouths, No attitudes and just kindness. I kept my bedroom door locked the whole time Daisy was here, no more painting poop on my walls, this weekend it was my chair I had to scrub down twice. UGH!

Michael is coming over today! YAY! I miss him. He'll stay the night and leave tomorrow, then Sunday I'm going to his place and spend the week with him. I told him I would work on his eBay all week to help him out. Thursday week is Thanksgiving and we're going to his mom's house, and he has an appointment in Ann Arbor  one day while I'm there so I'll be able to work on the eBay for 4 days. Whatever I get done will be helpful for him. 

I bought a new mask at the Dollar General. It says, "I love Santa" on it. I got all my gifts for my neighbors ready for Christmas. I made Christmas coffee mugs with hot cocoa and candy canes for them, ad a Campbell's soup mug with Tomato soup in it for Connie. They turned out really cute.  John and Marylou got a little more. I got Marylou and Steeler's Tumbler and John a board that you can change the messages on. I have 2 tee shirts coming in for Scott and then I can send off their box. I stuffed their stocking last night, I just need some altoids for my sweet Lulu. I have to stuff Becky's and Mike's stockings later and then I can get to wrapping their gifts. 

November 23, 2020

I'm heading off to Michael's for the week. I'll be home next Monday. The plan is to help him get eBay stuff put on. Plus we are going to make fudge and cookies. 

I got my tree up and all my presents wrapped and under it. Though I have some stacked on the couch and in my bedroom because there was too much to put around the tree. I got all the stockings stuffed and am completely finished till Christmas eve. I thought I would have Christmas eve here, but it really needs to be at Becca's cuz 1. She can't drive the family in the bug altogether. 2. There is too much stuff for her to bring home. So we will have dinner at her house. 

November 30, 2020

I spent the past 7 days at Mike's house. I'd rather not do that again for awhile. I hate leaving my little home. I got a disturbing call while I was there, from the department of health and human services. Seems back in 2018 they left me on food stamps when I shouldn't have been on food stamps. It's a felony if caught defrauding the welfare system. I didn't KNOW I was defrauding the system, I just knew I was still receiving the food stamps after I went back to work. A lady called me and verified with me all this and assured me that it was indeed a felony if I was in anyway deceptive. I have to wait for a pack of papers to come in the mail and call her back if I don't understand something. I sure hope I'm not in any trouble. Jeez I just muddle through this life, even when I was working I barely scraped by and now this is looming and scaring the shit out of me. I didn't do anything wrong, just used the food stamps they gave me every month. I'm sure I let them know that I went back to work. 

Today when I was leaving my car wouldn't start. Mike called a tow truck to jump me and it worked. I pray nothing is going on with my car. I am praying it was because I didn't start it in a week is the reason why it wouldn't start. 

Mike was concerned about me making it home safely which I did, I stopped at the Auto Zone and had them test my battery. It tested out just fine, so ....... who knows what's going on. It could be my alternator I suppose. 

I made Buckeyes and fudge while I was at Mike's place. We had Thanksgiving dinner at his mom's. It was nice, and the food was good. After dinner me and Mike went out looking at Christmas lights. I love that. The lights were so beautiful. 

I'm going to go to the Wal-mart here in a bit after I know the car is cooled down. I want to be sure it starts. 

December 1, 2020

I had a totally rotten mental health day today. I started by getting up at 11:30 and talking to my psychiatrist. She is concerned about maybe my anti depressants not working as well as they could be and offered me another pill twice daily on top of the ones I already take. She thinks that it might help with my anxiety. I have to be honest with myself and admit that my anxiety was off the charts today. Hearing the other day about how committing welfare fraud is a felony and how I committed it back 2 years ago has been playing on my mind. Then I been worried about my car, and then this afternoon I found a bed bug nest in my chair. I sprayed it as well as I could but it put me over the edge and I had to take a xanax to help me out this afternoon. I took another tonight so I can sleep without going over things in my head.  

Back to the welfare fraud.... I was on food assistance every year during summer when I made no money. I called my worker and told him or her that I was back to work and they would cut me off. 2018 summer comes and I get on assistance. School starts and I can guarantee that I called or sent in my paystubs. I can guarantee that I did, because I do stuff like that. I cannot prove it, but I can guarantee I did. So I think things changed or something because I get food assistance every month all year long. Now two years later a lady called me and told me that defrauding the welfare system by $500 is a felony and I was over $1500, and I should get a pack of papers in the mail and watch for them and should I have any questions I should contact her. It's got me nervous. I was on food assistance since May of this 2020 this time around. Why now is all I can ask. Mike says, "Let go and let God." Not so easy to do with my anxiety. It was, however, very good talking to him tonight, he eased my mind. Just joking and laughing with him helped. I was wanting some of his moms mac salad and he had her recipe written down. He told it to me so I can make some tomorrow. Tomorrow is cookie day and deviled egg day too. I have to get elbow macaroni and green onions. Both are on my list. 

My car started just fine when I did my errand running today. It started here at the apartments, again at the post office, and at the Wal-mart to get me home again. So I'm praying it was as simple as not starting it for a week just ran out the battery enough to not turn over. 

Bed Bugs.... I never had them before, but my arms are ate up. I researched them today after flipping over my chair and finding a nest of them. I need the bug man to spray down the bed and the chair, and my couch and loveseat. I can do the rest. When I go to the Wal-Mart with my list tomorrow, I will pick up witch hazel and cinnamon oil. It seems as if bed bugs do not like the smell of cinnamon. The combo sprayed on the sheets at night help to keep them off the bed top. 

My dilemma is do I tell Susan to come and get her stuff? The box has been in the kitchen for only one day, and I haven't unboxed her stuff. I think that the chances of a bed bug in the box is so slim, so maybe I won't say anything. 

I got my flu shot, a whooping cough booster, and a shingle vaccine the other day before I went to Michael's. So, I'm good for the flu season. One less thing to worry about anyway. 

Christmas shopping is done with. I'm waiting for a cookbook and a craft kit for Becky. I got Michael his Crème Drops he likes at the Hobby Lobby. 

Then there is the Corona Virus which is on the rise. The governor closed down restaurants for dine-in again. Theaters, sports arenas, any place there would be a gathering of people is closed again. Masks are mandatory. 214,109 cases of Covid in Michigan since March and 9,564 deaths in Michigan. Gas is holding at $1.89

December 4, 2020

I'm crazy about Michael. He video chatted with me tonight so that I could see Adrian's tree's all light up. There are about 250 trees that each person decorates and they light them at night. I can't be there, so he video chatted me to see them all. 

Yesterday was a very horrible day December 3. 2020 will be the day that I got super-up-close-and-personal with bed bugs. I tore my bed apart to spray it down and I found a few, so I sprayed them. I put the linens in the dryer to kill any bugs on them and called Bob the Manager to see if he would help me manhandle the box springs. I threw away the bed ruffle as it had five nests of bed bugs all through it.  Bob moved the box springs out of the frame and I pushed up with my right hand, right into a huge nest of bed bugs, there had to have been 500 or more bugs hiding where the frame hits the box springs. I screamed, Bob sprayed my hand with insecticide, and told me to go get my vacuum. It gave me something to do and out of my bedroom where the buggy bed was. 

Did I mention that I took a Xanax prior to starting the whole thing because my anxiety was rocking it hard just THINKING about doing it. I took another one when Bob finally left an hour later, and I must confess - I went down to Mary Lou's and bummed a cigarette off her. By them time night came, I had vacuumed the bed two more times, sprayed it down with insecticide once more and made the bed with just the sheets and one pillow. My bed usually has 2 protector pads a bottom sheet, a top sheet, 4 pillows and 3 blankets. For now, until its over I will have nothing but the bare essentials on it. 

I called Michael and shared my horrible no good night with him, turns out he had one of his own. He has been having pain in his lower abdomen and he sat in the ER for 5 hours without treatment, just waiting to be seen. He left without being seen and went back this morning. They ran some tests on him and it turns out he has diverticulitis and is having a flare up. They put him on antibiotics through an IV and some to take at home. I'm hoping he feels better really soon. 

The best part of yesterday was finding out that my SSI claim was approved and today there was $1,234.00 in my checking account plus the $69 I had left over for the month.  I think I'll be able to manage just fine. My rent will go up, and I'll prolly get kicked off food stamps, but we will see when the dust settles. 

I went to Margaret's birthday party tonight and had dinner and cake. It was nice visiting with everyone all together. Mary Lou and John didn't go though. 

December 6, 2020

I got up with the intention of vacuuming my bedroom and dying my hair. I got neither done. My day started with a tap, tap, tap at the door at 9:20. It was Becky across the hall gifting me with a half gallon of vodka and a half of a half gallon of bourbon. Weird. Then I but my copier together and boy howdy! It works great! I finished up my gag gifts of Fish Assholes in a can, Turtle Dicks in a jar, and I pulled out my cricut and made my "Quarantine and Chill 2020" Ornaments. The ladies just say 2020 on them as the rest was a pain in the ass to put on. I put a mask in it and red spiky pompoms for the Corona Virus in each one, I am officially done with Christmas. all my crafting, cooking and wrapping is done. The Fish Assholes are Spaghettio's with a label I made and the Turtle dicks are giant pickles. I made Mike a set to give to his buddy David of the pickles and Spaghettio's                                    

It feels great to have it all done. Now for the fun part of gifting to all my peeps! I'll wait a week or two before I do that though. 

I sprayed my bed down with witch hazel and lavender and am waiting for it to dry before I go get in it. It's supposed to keep the bedbugs off me while I sleep. I haven't had any new bites in two days. 

I sold a Christmas ornament on eBay tonight, I had it listed for $10.50 and a guy offered my $30.00 for it. SOLD! Then I sold an address book as well, so things are looking up on that end. 

My shrink put me on a new med for anxiety. She thought it would help more than just taking Xanax alone would. The Xanax is great in a pinch, the new med is to keep my anxiety at an even keel in as I go through my days. It kinda is making me tired, but I've only been on them for three day. 

I bought a pack of smokes today. I am hoping that that is the last I see of the damnedable things. 

I bought me and Mike matching pajamas for Christmas. They are elf pajamas, and I bought us striped socks and elf hats. I want to get our picture under the Christmas tree this year. 

Gas is up to $2.09 in town tonight. 

218,505 Cases of Covid and 10,321deaths because of the virus in Michigan since March. 

December 7, 2020

Another day without dyed hair or vacuumed bedroom. Instead Mary Lou had me running all over town with her for her, and for me. First we went to the church after Verna's friend Dale jumped my car (YET AGAIN!) as it wouldn't start again. She wanted to get her box of food. It's 65 and over so I knew I wouldn't get one, but surprise! They gave me one too! Then it was off to the Auto Zone to get my battery tested. Today it tested bad (which I had a gut feeling it was) even though the other day it tested good from that creepy guy in Hillsdale Auto Zone. This gentleman today took all the time he needed to not only test the battery, but tested the alternator as well. The battery was bad and $180.00 later I was on my merry way to Home Depot where I bought bed bug killing stuff. This kills the eggs too. I bought fogger for the bedroom as well as the spray for the bed , and accoutrements of  the room.  Then we hit the Wal-Mart for Mary Lou and spent the better part of an hour in there. I bought some paper plates and a pair of jammies. Treating myself well with some of the money I got. It came to an end today though. I have to get to Florida in a year and need to save up for some Scott & Lulu time! 

I spent some time outside with my friends and came in to put away all my goodies I got from the church. I called Mariah from Coldwater Rec and told her I quit today. Since I have my disability and my pension I can't make any more money or I will lose my disability. So I had to quit. She said if things change for me, she would be more than glad to have me back. What a wonderful thing to say. Made my day. 

I pulled out my Cricut last night and tonight I played around for hours on Cricut designs. Susan wants a couple things, so I played. I found a tee-shirt I want to make for Becca. "I Run on Coffee, Chaos, and Cuss Words". Too cute right? 

Tomorrow I MUST dye my hair and spray my room and vacuum it! I MUST! I MUST! I MUST! I have really grey hair, and more bug bites today

Gotta go and call my hunny bunny now. I'm crazy about that man! 

Gas was at $1.99 today. 218,505 cases of active Covid cases in Michigan today. 10,321 people have died in Michigan as of today. In total there have been 426,576 cases of Covid in Michigan since March. I have had my numbers wrong. 

December 8. 2020

Up at 4:30 this morning unable to sleep. Scott got his packages, they look nice under their tree. Susan liked her design I made for her. I'll pull out the cricut on Saturday again. I have a couple other things for Becca to make as well. 

Michael's store was condemned and he is out of work now, he is going to sign up for unemployment or go work in the Tecumseh store. His store is a piece of work. The general manager says they are looking into new real estate for his store. This is the second time in a year that the place has been condemned. 

I took a shower but didn't dye my hair. I fogged my room so I can't vacuum the bed room. But I sorta met my goals. 

I gave Bob my statement from the SSI administration so he could revalue my rent. 

I did a wild thing but something I always wanted to do, I bought myself a subscription to a book press that will, after I finish my story will publish my book. I bought one for Scott and one for Becca so they have their momma's story in my own words. I'm really excited to do this for them and me. I have always wanted to. It was only $128.00 which is hundreds less than other self publishers I've talked to. It will sorta be like this journal, but tighter stories and specific topics. I'm excited. 

December 10, 2020

Fumigation day! I had to leave the apartment for 4 hours today while the dust settled. I'm finally back in the apartment. I have my pillows and afghans in the dryer running heat on any lingering bugs from the couch. Hopefully I won't be getting ate up from bed bugs anymore. I ran to a few stores while I had to be out of the house. I went to Goodwill and found some Flamingo pictures for my bathroom, and I found a couple of wood blocks to put Cricut sayings on. I found a bicycle bell to put on eBay, I paid $2.09 and can get $12.99 from it. I went to the Dollar General and got some smokes and found the pop MaryLou likes so I bought her some, and found garland for Johns tree for a buck so I picked it up for him. I got white and black paint to spray some blocks with for sayings. Then I went to Big Lots and got some Febreze Heavy duty air freshener. Bob said my apartment smelled like smoke this morning and I don't smoke up here so I thought I'd spray down the apartment. 

I'm going to see how I feel later and maybe make Becca's tee-shirt, and MaryLou's tee-shirt. 

I took Becca to the hospital yesterday for her carpo-tunnel release surgery on her elbow yesterday. I just called her and she didn't pick up so I don't know how she's doing today. She was doing really well last night. She called back and she's in some pain today. She took a Norco and it shows in the way she talking. She got a little southern twang going on. Her hubby cooked chili for dinner tonight. She has all the meals planned out with meals he knows how to cook for the next week. She was really well prepared for this surgery. She doesn't have to drive anywhere till the 22nd and that's to her post op. 

Carma's coming over tomorrow with a paper about retirement she want me to look at. She'll be here about 2:30. 

I made this little plaque for Susan, and I liked it so much I made me one.  She said she's glad I made her two because she couldn't have given it away as a gift she liked it so much! First real thing I designed on my own and I'm glad she loves it so much. 

December 11, 2020

I finally got a hold of someone from DHS today about my food stamps. It looks like I'm going to be owing them a ton of money. That's about all I could gather from them today. I messed up on my end, she says, by not turning in a paperwork that says I have an apartment and pay less than my mortgage. Yet I called and told them I moved, so it's now my fault that I wasn't told they needed documentation. I sent it today, but I'm sure they will get me on overpayment. It messed me up today. I already owe them because they didn't turn off my benefits when they should have, and now this. I'm out about 2grand from my figuring. I worked on some t-shirts and helped out Carma today. I gave John his Christmas gift. He liked it. I have his joke one's ready for him when I give everyone else theirs. 

Today was a sucky day, my blood pressure is up and my anxiety is off the wall. Going to bed now. 

December 12, 2020

I heard this song for the first time tonight, and I love it. Memories by Maroon 5 it says in part:

Here's to the ones that we got (Oh-oh)

Cheers to the wish you were here, but you're not

'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories

Of everything we've been through (No, no)

Toast to the ones here today (Ayy)

Toast to the ones that we lost on the way

'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories (Ayy)

And the memories bring back, memories bring back you

It was touching to hear it after writing in my Storyworth tonight. My first story for my book. the prompt was: Have you ever had to make a tough moral decision? How did it turn out? I wrote about Christopher Robin. And the memories bring back, memories bring back you....

December 13, 2020

Making a pot of Chicken and Dumlin's for dinner. I have been wanting to make a Toodles for Daisy so I pulled out my felt to make it. That made me start wondering if I could cut the felt on my cricut. Turns out I need a deep cut blade and stiff felt but I can. So they will be coming soon! I'll get that Toodles for her yet! They make em and sell em for $50.00 on Etsy. 

I'm sharing my Chicken and Dumplin's with John and MaryLou. I always make soooo much! Can't make a small pot of em. 

I talked with Michael today after he got out of work. He's so tired, he's going home to nap. He said he'll call me after he gets up. This cricut learning curve has taken up a lot of my time! It's endless. 

So today I talked with John Town, made chicken and dumplin's and took a nap. I looked up tons of cricut stuff, made a t-shirt on the cricut desktop for Scott for his birthday that says, don't hate me because I'm beardiful. It has an outline of a man with a full beard on it. I make all these things that I will "do later". I love creating!

Tomorrow I have to call the pain clinic and see what time my appointment is for on Wednesday. Maybe Michael can take me so I have a driver. I can get sedation if I have a driver. 

I want some funny stories in my book. My first story was about having and losing my sweet Christopher Robin. She was my dream baby. Scott was my "Rainbow Baby" A rainbow baby is a name coined for a healthy baby born after losing a baby due to miscarriage, infant loss, stillbirth, or neonatal death.

The name “rainbow baby” comes from the idea of a rainbow appearing in the sky after a storm, or after a dark and turbulent time. The term has gained popularity on blogs and social media in recent years, and has come to symbolize hope and healing. For those who have experienced the loss of a baby, the birth of a rainbow baby is a time of immense joy, reflection, healing, and mixed emotions.

Rainbow babies are often described as ‘miracle’ babies due to the powerful impact they can have on helping parents heal after a loss. However, rainbow pregnancies can bring strong feelings of anxiety, guilt, and even fear. This is from the Urban dictionary. It so true though. Fear permeated in my pregnancy with Scott and then two years later Rebecca. I had a awesome doctor who took very specific care of me. After Becca came though, he recommended I have my tubes tied as I might not be so lucky as I was with two healthy beautiful children. I took his recommendation to heart. I had my boy and my girl. I was over the moon with happiness to be raising my children. They have no idea how they saved me. Both in different ways, but save me they did. Writing about Christopher brought up a lot of memories that I haven't felt in a long time. I miss her. 

It's time for bed but first I'm going to call this man I'm crazy about and say goodnight. 

December 14, 2020

Monday morning up at 6:30. Going to make a small pot of chili for dinner. I got everything ready. I have a doctor appointment at 1:15 for tomorrow, we are going to discuss me getting off cigarettes and my blood pressure. Michael is coming tomorrow as well. I have a pain appointment Wednesday at 1:45 after I go to Carma's Drive-by retirement party. 

December 15, 2020

Tuesday Morning. Up at 5:00 am. After no nap yesterday, I thought I'd sleep in a bit today. I went to bed at midnight. 

So I had a couple of cups of coffee with creamer in it and my sugar is 133. My blood pressure was 127 over 70. I took my pills which are plentiful. I'm going to ask the doc about getting off of one of them, it doesn't work and it's really expensive. I want to add Chantix for the next few months. 

I'm expecting a couple of boxes in the mail, one from sis, one from Billy and one from Scott. Christmas excitement! 

Michael is coming over after his Echocardiogram today. I have a doc appointment at 1:15 and his Echo is at 2:00 so we should both be back here in time to see each other without running into many delays. 

We are going to Ron and Chickie's festival of Lights tonight, and another house I saw a few years ago to see if they have it lit up. 

I had to write a thank you card for my neighbor Debbie. She handcrafted me a continual calendar out of plastic and yarn. It was a thoughtful, kind thing to do, and a thank you card was the least I could do. I'm going over to Lee's house Thursday or Friday this week to do a little photography and posting to the website. I have a Christmas family photoshoot to do on Saturday at 10. Jodi Hollingsworth and her family. It's at a decorated venue that Jodi booked. I have never been there, but she's super geeked about it, so it must be nice. 

I'm having a little difficulty with this new pill my shrink put me on. Buspirone. I take it twice a day. It makes me a little dizzy, but the effects of it feel like half a sigh, I want the whole sigh. I don't know if upping the dose would be helpful or not. Maybe I need to take it longer, I have been on it for two weeks now. I take Cymalta for depression with an Ambilify booster. Buspirone and Xanax for anxiety, and Trazadone to help me sleep. I'm going to talk to her about maybe increasing the dose of the Buspirone. If I'm taking it I want all the benefits of it. 

I take Lisinopril and Metoprolol and Hydrochlorthiazide for my blood pressure, Prevastatin for cholesterol, Metformin for diabetes, Vitamin D3 for deficiency, Diclofenec for pain-but I don't think this one works for me so I'm going to talk to her about getting off of it. At night I take a melatonin to help me get sleepy, some nights I take a Xantax to shut my brain off so I can sleep. 

There is a new vaccine out for Covid-19. It was shipped to the front line workers yesterday. It was on the news showing the first people to get injected with it. I don't know about taking the injection. It seems like it was thoroughly rushed to market. Covid hit the States in March of this year and in December we have a vaccine? Remember Thalidomide? Not many do, but there are a generation full of Thalidomide babies. Deformed children because the treatment for morning sickness wasn't researched long enough. I hate to think what we might be seeing a year or two from now. I've got the Covid-19 antibodies in me from having the illness. I don't think I need to get the vaccine, I'll talk to my doctor about it today. 

Well I think the doctors visit went really well. I got off the pill I wanted to, but she added another one, that she hopes will work. Plus I got the Chantix. She's having me take a heart stress test, which makes me happy knowing that both my parents died of heart disease. There is no plaque buildup in my arteries as of last year. That's always good news. 

Tomorrow I go for my pain visit. 

December 17, 2020

I went for my pain visit yesterday. I got injections and my pulse ox was at 83. 83! something is going on in there that I don't like. The doc wants me to have a chemically induced stress test on my heart. I'm happy that she is wanting it to be certain my heat is ticking along like it ought to. Last year I had an MRI and all was well in there, so I'm praying that the results are the same this year. 

I'm heading over to Lee's for a bit at 2:30. He and Annette just got over Covid-19 and she just had a minor stroke. I don't know if it was Covid induced, but they have had a time since Thanksgiving. Not a good time for sure! 

Christmas is next week. John and MaryLou came over last night to the house to exchange Christmas gifts. John got me a two pound Kit-Kit candy bar and MaryLou got me a plug in wax warmer, and some Ghirardelli's chocolate snowmen. 

I'm going to go around and drop off Christmas gifts tonight to my neighbors. Or make buckeyes, not sure which I want to do, maybe both. 

I'm still feeling light headed and fuzzy. I'm sure it's the Buspirone that the shrink put me on. I talked to My doc about it and she thought a higher dose would do me  better so I called Brielle at the Shrinks office to talk to her about it since she does my mental health meds. 

I have all the kids presents ready to go out on Christmas Eve, it looks like Santa's sleigh tipped over on my couch! And there are still more in my closet! 

Tomorrow I want to start cleaning the house for Christmas with Michael. 

I went to Lee's poor Annette is suffering. She had a mild stroke and thank God it didn't do any damage, but she's left with a sagging face that is very minor but noticeable, and her speech is slower than usual. Lee is his usual self. Glad covid didn't attack them harder. Annette says the stroke is from the Covid. A side effect if you will. 

I talked to Brielle, she is going to up my dose on the Buspirone to 10 mgs Twice a day, and I'll call her if I want it upped again. She said we have a lot of wiggle room and 10 mgs is still a really low dose. 

Michael is getting my mom's picture framed for me for Christmas or my birthday, don't know which. It's an awesome gift. My mom made it for my dad on their 16th wedding anniversary. It will hang above my bed when I get it. My Sweet Michael. I will cherished that he did that for me. 

I passed out all my Christmas gifts to my neighbors. I was happy doing it. I have a banana Bread for Bob left to give him, and a pair of earrings when they come in for Verna. 

I designed another block for Susan. It says "This is Us - our life, our story, forever." It's adorable. She loves it, I'll cut it out on Sunday. 

I walked the banana bread down to Bob and hung it on his door. 

I went out and had a smoke with MaryLou. 

Having a Corky's frozen pulled pork dinner tonight. 

Watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy and having dinner. I'm so boring. 

December 18, 2020

I am going over to Lee's house for a bit today. Going to help him out. I been thinking about my poetry and short stories lately. I want to incorporate them into my book for my kids. I don't know what I want to write about this week. I should go look. 

I think I'm going to try liver and onions again tonight for dinner. Last time I dumped the whole garlic powder jar on them, I'll not do that again! 

I wrote in my book today. I included this poem about my grandma. 

The Iris

Mother’s hands tended flowers

When they were oh, so very small,

Grandma’s hands would guide her,

Showing her flowers,

Loving them all.

Out of Grandma’s garden grew,

A most amazing sight,

A flower proud and beautiful,

Of  pure, angelic white. 

It was this snow-white flower,

That Grandma loved the best,

She tended this flower most graciously,

No one would ever guess,

That in this unsung flower,

Many would recall,

A shared and joyous moment,

Watching spring nod off to fall.

Years went by and seasons died,

At heaven's gate a daughter cried,

To see her mother pass inside.

Yet, a gift was given, 

And it was to be identified in

My hands that tended flowers

When they were oh, so very small

Mother’s hands would guide me,

Showing me flowers

Loving them all.

But, set apart from all the rest,

Was the flower Mother loved the best.

She tended this flower most affectionately,

Guided by love, she might confess.

 

Secret hands help tend this flower,

Hands from heaven above,

Unknowingly, together the flower

Grows with love.

Years went by and seasons died,

At heaven's gate a daughter cried,

To see her mother pass inside.

Yet, a gift was given, 

And it was to be identified in

The hands that now tend flowers,

They are oh, so very small,

My loving hands guide her,

Showing her flowers,

Loving them all.

Together, we grow flowers,

With eagerness and zest,

But in a special corner grows,

The one I love the best.

It is this special flower,

My daughter will come to know,

As a friend, close and dear,

While it flourishes and grows.

The hands that tend the flowers

Are oh, so very small,

And they are drawn to one flower,

That is the finest of them all.

It holds within its petals,

A shared love of women gone,

And whispers of secret tomorrows,

Of which will be her own.

She holds this majestic flower,

Up to the heavens above,

And star lit eyes gaze down upon her,

Filled with wonder,

Filled with love.

Years will slip by, and seasons will die,

At heaven's gate a daughter will cry,

To see a mother pass inside,

But, a gift will be given, 

And it will be identified in

The hands that tend the flowers.

It is a bit Hallmarky but I still love this poem. 

I really like this story. 

I added it to my book. 

Whispurrs

I crawled into bed utterly exhausted from my day. I was dressed in pink fuzz and huddled under an ancient ivory quilt, my head settled in my fluffed up pillow and I fiddled my shoulders around to find that perfect spot. After my body agreed that I had found it, I sighed a long breath of release. My mind has a way of going where it may at this time of the night, and it posed a question I uttered in a whisper. "If I wish hard enough will it make my dreams come true?" A mixture of bewilderment and excitement beamed from him, because we weren't taking our usual route to slumber. He heard my words, and eventually I heard his comforting voice answering my posed inquiry, I shouldn’t have been surprised that he answered me, but I was.

His voice was soft and silky conversing with me. "Dreams are tangible, while wishes need encouragement, but all in all they are one in the same." "How do you know this?" I looked into his eyes in a lazy, unfocused kind of way as I asked him. He is so wise, he raised one of his hirsute eyebrows and he winked a gold-green at me. I smiled as I nuzzled in close and asked him again. "Just how do you come to know this as fact?" He purred into my ear as I felt myself drifting off to walk amongst the clouds and catch jars of starlight before the dawn, "Take my word for it, I know these things." I snuggled in a little closer, rubbing his back, feeling the whiskers on his face tickle me and I sighed out, "When I was a little girl my father used to say, "If trouble ever troubles you, just dream your cares away."

Somewhere off in the distance beyond the moon’s glow I could hear Bette Midler singing. "A dream is a wish your heart makes when your fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches, whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams and someday, someday your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true."

He must have heard the music in the night air as well, for a bit of time passed before he spoke again. "Dreams and wishes," now he spoke very carefully, deliberately. He was oh so knowing, "Dreams are to be fulfilled. You have so much more traveling to do. On your journeys you will find many stops and turning points, just look out for the one sign saying ‘Dream Boulevard’. Take it, and then, give it your best shot."

"And wishes?," I whispered, with just a little too much hope in my voice.

"Now they are just a little bit different than dreams," He spoke to me in a hushed, husky, hypnotic matter. "Compared to wishes, dreams are substantial. The are a goal intended to be hit, and dreams stand a good chance of becoming the genuine real. True. Wishes are like so much fluff off a dandelion flower, one breath and it will scatter in the breeze. Now pay attention, my sweet girl, wishes were bestowed for a reason. It’s only a human’s nature to have an abundance of wishes. The secret is to pick out your most impassioned wish. Then you need to give courage to this wish, you may have to tweak it every now and again. Allow it time to grow and mature and eventually this wish will magically turn into a dream. A dream that has stemmed from a wish is a very powerful dream indeed, one that has every chance of fulfilling itself."

I unburdened my dreams and wishes on him, each one mumbled into the indistinct stretch of night. They came out garbled as sleepy-eyed slumber stole the words away, and placed them gently into the buckets of stardust the sandman held. Somewhere, sometime in the night, I looked down on hazy white fluff that twinkled from below. I felt safe enough to fall and land on it with an awareness of belief of wishes and dreams.  tj

and I added:

 

No Better Life

It was the summer of my sixteenth year. In just four months and three days I would be 17. I came to the city to fulfill my dreams. No more will I get up before dawn and help momma make the biscuits for the farmhands. I was going to be somebody. I stole away all the money I had made selling honey at the county fair for the past three years, ever since I heard my daddy talking to Harold Maynard’s pa. I heard that conversation. I was supposed to be shucking bushels of corn on the porch, but the porch made me sticky with sweat under my new tits, (Lordamighty I hated when them things busted out of my chest. Momma said it was normal, but at the time I didn’t believe her) so I took to the barn where it was cool, writing secrets in my notepad. "They’d make a handsome couple." "My Harold will treat her right good", then my daddy’s voice of reason, "When she turns 17. I want her growd up a’fore a man takes her". I know I should have stayed but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to marry Harold Maynard. Being Mrs. Harold Maynard was not who I wanted to be. I wanted to taste something more than this farm's dirt had to offer me. I was scared, sure I was. The trembling showed in the letter I left on my pillow for momma. I would miss her most. 

I had rode on that bus for nearly three days, eating out of the basket I had packed and cleaning up in the ladies room at the stations and diners along the way. I wrote in my notebook about the times I would have in the city. I struck up a conversation with a real nice lady with a baby in her arms. She was taking her little baby home to visit her mother. Her mother lived in the big city, and this lady was born and raised right here in this big city. Come to find out she had moved out to the bleak place I was running from. She had married a farmer and was loving being a farmer’s wife, and raising farmer’s kids. I looked at her hands. They looked just like mine. Calloused and cracked from hard work and more hard work. Odd that we would come together on the bus ride. Two souls with contradicting dreams. I wanted what she had, she wanted what I had. It was inconceivable to me that anyone would want that life. 

The bus rolled into town at 7:50 in the morning. I had never seen the city before ‘cept for in the magazines at the dime store in our dusty little town. It made the night look like day. Lights twinkling in the morning mist. Cars and busses lining the streets. Buildings taller than old man Lyman’s silo. His silo was the tallest in nine counties, but these building touched the sky. My word, I thought, wait till I write momma about the buildings. The bus driver pulled to a curb and stood up, stretching his back and scratching his head. The smell of a bus is unmistakable. To me it was a smell that filled me with excitement. I collected my suitcases from where he put them at the curb and headed to the diner I saw as we pulled into town. My face lifted high, my spirts lifted higher, I was ready to make my mark in life. 

I opened my pocketbook and put a couple of quarters on the counter to pay for my pie and coffee. The waitress directed me to the boarding house for women. I was taking in the sights. I collected a newspaper on my walk. Fourteen city bocks sounded like a long walk, but in reality it weren’t no further that where the cows hang out at the back fence. Miss Mitzi’s Boarding house was a small yellow house with bright red flowers flanking the windows. My first thought as I looked at it was, sunshine. I took a deep breath and knocked at the door. Miss Mitzi answered. She had a quick smile and after I told her about the waitress sending me to her she showed me the room. All through the walk and tour of the house I heard the rules. "No men. Ever. Rent due on Wednesday. Not Thursday. No rent paid, no room no board. Period. Bathroom is shared, be quick. Roster for cooking and cleaning is posted in the kitchen. Everyone pitches in. No exceptions." I sorta stopped listening. I wanted to take a bath, put on my Sunday dress and shoes and go get me a job. Miss Mitzi looked at me and gave me an odd little smile. I wasn’t really sure what she wanted to say, but she shrugged her shoulders and with a quick laugh she said, "You might last out the month before you run home to momma." 

I found the Tribune Building just where Joanie said it would be. She was a dear at the diner. I had tuna sandwich on rye bread for lunch with a Vanilla Coke. I wanted to splurge and celebrate. I never ate Tuna on Rye, even though we had a diner in our town nearby, daddy said it was sinful to waste our money buying food in a diner when we had all we needed on the farm. I felt rebellious and a little naughty as I ate the last crumbs of my sandwich. I paid for my meal and waved as Joanie wished me luck. I had to be very careful with the money I had left. I had paid Miss Mitzi for two weeks and bought 2 meals at the diner and a newspaper, all in one day. I only had half of the money from my honey stash left. I prayed I could find work at the Tribune. 

There wasn’t. No matter that I could write. There was nothing I could do to convince that woman to let me talk to Mr. Harmon. He hired everyone Joanie told me. I couldn’t get past the woman who answered the phones. I told her I would do anything they had for me to do. Nothing. She just stared at my hands. I tried to hide the calluses behind my pocketbook, but she knew I was just the daughter of a farmer, raised on a farm. She told me I belonged down at the 'chicken farm'. I was humiliated and embarrassed. Now what? 

I went into everyone of the buildings on that street. No one was interested in a little ol' cowpoke of a girl working for them. It was heading toward dark when I turned the corner by the diner. I didn’t expect to see Joanie, her shift would be long over by now. I walked back to the boarding house taking my time to think the situation over. I climbed in bed on my first night away from home, away from momma and cried myself to sleep. I was alone in the big city. Just where I wanted to be. I was scared. I wanted to look out my window and see the tree that had my old tire swing on it being pushed by the breeze. Instead there were cars honking and people walking the streets making noises all night long. Once I woke up to a siren rushing by. Was there a dream here for me? I slept a fitful night that first night. 

I finally found work in a factory. I’m disgraced beyond words to say what my job was. I plucked chickens in a cannery. At the furthest reaches of the city there were factories. Joanie had mentioned them to me telling me to steer clear of them. After three weeks of no luck, I was out of money and nearly out of options. I just knew I would be one of the fine ladies that I saw walking into the shops uptown. I would wear high heels and lipstick to work everyday. Instead I trudged myself down to the chicken farm as it’s was called round the city and I pulled out the feathers from hot wet dead birds. I got paid enough to pay Miss Mitzi every Wednesday, and had enough left over to buy notebooks and an occasional piece of pie and coffee at the diner. 

On my seventeenth birthday I bought a bus ticket. It took me nearly three days, but I walked up past the barn and smelled the dirt. Ain’t nothing in this world that smells like that. It smelled like home. Daddy saw me. He walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder, he looked me up and down, and then looked me in the eye. He said, "You’re home." I said, "I’m home." I walked up the back steps and opened the screen door. Momma was lifting a ham out of the oven and after she put it on the table she turned and looked at me. I put my suitcases down and waited for her to say something to me. She came over to me and hugged me. I hugged her fierce. When she let go of me she looked me up and down. She said, "I knew you’d come home." I didn’t know what to say. I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "I’m home." I put my suit cases on my bed and walked back into the kitchen tying an apron on as I went. There were farmhands to feed. 

It’s hard for me to look at those old notebooks and recognize me in them anymore. I think sometimes that I wrote about someone else all those years ago. My husband and I have taken over farming daddy’s land. Momma helps me out in the kitchen with the cooking. Daddy is outside with my kids. He loves to tell them stories of how he used to farm this land before all the newfangled equipment came along. Never once have we ever spoke of the time I left to find a better life. What I found in that excursion of my lifetime was there is no better life than farming this land, raising these children with love, being a good daughter to my parents and loving wife to my husband. I have to run now, I hear Harold Jr. slamming that old screen door ... his daddy ain’t far behind him, and I know they’re hungry. . . 

tjb© March 4, 2008

I will continue to add more of my pieces as the chapters come in. Time to cook my liver and onions! 

hanging in the balance

 She was hanging in the balance

Suffering the tirade of his hurtful words

Feeling the blows as he pounded away at her soul

She finally stood - finding she could gain her equilibrium

She found a form of balance in her unbalanced life

Because

They were hanging in the balance

Three cherubic innocent ones

Crying out for chance to grow

Needing a solid foundation to build a life on

Questing consistency, reliability and love

That a confident new She could provide.

This is about Becky when she left Ray. It was an exceedingly difficult time in her life, and thusly, in mine. 

Through Jaundiced Eyes a Short Story

The protestors stood in the dark. The only illumination was from what was left of the burning rubble of literacy they refused to allow the children to read. I watched the smoke curl up from the ashes of accomplishment. It started this afternoon at 4:30. It began to unfold as they stormed the front of school house. Arms full of books and cans full of fuel. I was dumbfounded, frozen in place as I watched.

I simply cannot understand such an alien, utterly bizarre mindset. Just about everything on earth rouses the holy ire and outrage of fundamentalists book burners. Everything they don't understand, everything outside their narrow little circle, which means just about anything you can think of, is evil and Satanic in their jaundiced eyes.

These protesters, who are not parents of children in this school are denouncing this community as a den of iniquity, why they don't even live in this school district, or even in this state. In fact, I found out later, the two rabble rousers who instigated this war of the words are a Texas couple who run a well-organized and bottomless-pocketed book-banning organization that has a devoted following among fundamentalists.

Our school district has policies in place if ever a book is challenged. They’ve never had to memorize the policy. A book has never been challenged. A parent must fill out a complaint form. No one else has a right to complain - and the book must stay on the curriculum or the library shelves until it has been reviewed by a committee.

Time after time, I have since read, bigger school districts are yielding in the most cowardly and craven manner to fundamentalist bullying, withdrawing the books immediately, and sometimes summarily dismissing the teachers who used the offending books in their classes. When parents complain, the school will offer them the option of letting their children read an alternate book, but the fundamentalists rarely accept any compromise. They don't just want their children reading "Satanic" books, they don't want anyone to read them!

In fact, in Warsaw County, Indiana, the school board simply handed the disputed books over to the protesters, who then publicly burned them, which brings me to where I am today watching, in perplexed fascination. One minute, doing the business this town brought me here to do, the next minute frozen to this place in time.

I am pondering over the question in my head whether parents really have an absolute right to instill their children with such frighteningly hateful, bigoted and backward attitudes?

As adults we have a right to believe as we choose, however outlandish and flat-out wrong our beliefs may be. But when adults seek to trap their (and everyone else's) children in a bizarre world of darkness, hatred, blind fear and anti-intellectualism, it seems to me to be a very perverted use of parental rights, let alone Constitutional Rights.

To quote Annie Kinsella from the movie Field of Dreams, "They're talking about banning books again! Really subversive books, like "The Wizard of Oz" and "The Diary of Anne Frank".... This is the kind of censorship they had under Stalin!.... Who wants to spit on the Constitution? Who thinks the Bill of Rights is a pretty darn good thing?... All right America - I love ya!"

I have a photoshoot in the morning and of course I'm anxious over the fact that I get up in time to do it. I hate my anxiety. It backstabs me at every turn. Tonight it is making me question my own ability to do the easiest of tasks, to the point that I wonder should I even go to bed so I don't miss my wake up call. I set three alarms and will set a fourth. 7:15, 7:30 and 7:45. I'll set yet a fourth in the bedroom clock. 

I hate that doubt that swarms over me and stings me into inaction. It's not yet 10:20 at night and here I sit immobilized. In fear of not waking up in time for a 10 AM shoot. 

My anxiety is often overruled by me, the one that says "FUCK IT!" and I do what I want to do anyway at the cost of my psyche. It makes the things I do not as enjoyable as they should be. I jiggle my leg a lot in self defense of my anxiety. I think often that my life would be so much better without it ever present in my life, but I guess that's what so many people wish. 

It helps to write. Anxiety started this journal. My anxiety over Covid-19. That anxiety has waned over these months, but I wore a mask at Lee's yesterday and today because they have a houseful of workers and family there. People I might infect if I'm a carrier. I am anxious that Michael might not appreciate the thought that went into his gifts. Silly as that is, I know that he'll love what I got him, but secretly I worry. 

On Michael

I love him. I'm over the moon crazy for this man. But I won't marry him, I don't even want to live with him. I'm simply not able to make that happen as much as he wants it. I think about it and can't breathe. I don't think Michael understands, hell I don't understand, I just can't. It's not him, if I could, I would marry him. He loves me, adores me, and is over the moon crazy about me. I know this. But, my anxiety and depression will never allow me to do what comes naturally in relationships. 

Michael makes me laugh, I can be silly with him and I can be real. But he's never seen me in a panic attack. He's never seen me shut myself up in a room and sleep for three days and nights. He's seen me doubt my every move. He doesn't have the slightest idea why I doubt myself, but I do, in everything I do. 

God love him, I got a second chance with Michael, and I don't want my anxiety to get in the way of loving him. It was lonely without him in my life. I think it's working out just fine right now. He wants to move into Coldwater and get a job here. I'm great with that, we can be closer to each other and see each other daily if we want to, even spend nights at each other's places, I'm good with that. It's not scary, in fact it's comforting to  know that he'd be close by. Scared into inaction is the marriage and move in together stuff. I can't. I'm sobbing as I write this, but I just can't. No matter how much he wants it. I have to have my space, MY place where I can be. Where I can Just Breathe. It stopped me from marrying him once, I can't go through that again. 

December 19, 2020

I was up at 7:56. I'm dressed and ready with a back up battery. Easy Peasy. I'll leave in 15 minutes. I found a bed bug crawling on me this morning, so it didn't work as well as I had hoped. It's the chair. I will get another treatment next month. And I'll start spraying here in a week. 

I can't wait to see these photos I'm taking of the Hollingsworth family today. 

This is my favorite one I took of them today. They did three outfit changes and I took 101 photos. I'm heading off to the Wal-Mart to get Christmas dinner food and I'll drop off the thumb drive to them with all the photos on it. 

December 20, 2020

Up at 2:00 this morning, it's 3:44 right now. I've been sitting here playing games on the computer, drinking tea and smoking. I been thinking a lot about being afflicted with depression and anxiety. 

I wrote a series of bat stories, I'm adding them to my book that I'm writing.  I wrote about my first boss and my first taxpaying, real job. 

I went back to sleep at 5 and woke up at 11:00. I don't feel like doing anything. I ate 2 brats. Drinking some tea. It's a very quiet and lazy Sunday. 

I might start cleaning. If I do I'll start in the bedroom. 

I pulled out all the presents out of my closet and put my bagged bedding in there. I threw away my old mattress pads and 2 pillows. I put my felt away and I am out of breath. I had to sit down for a minute. 

 

Next I'll pick up dirty clothes and clean off my table in the kitchen. I have a story to write bubbling in my brain. What's it like to be 60? 

In my 60's

I have health issues, mental and physical. Issues I traded for the issues in my past. I have depression and anxiety they call moderate to severe. I have back issues and breathing issues. That said, I'm a much stronger version of my old self. There is nothing I can't conquer if I set my mind to it. I don't care about what others think of me as I used to. It used to really matter to me. I could give a rat's ass anymore what people think of me. 

I care more for people and not for things. I got all the things I could need. I've collected things all my life, I'd rather spend time with people and care for them, give them gifts, make them happy. 

I'm my 60's I've learned that bills get paid in due time and it's okay to be late. No one is going to come to your house and kill you over a past due bill. Pay it when you can and move on. 

I made several HUGE life changes in my almost 60's. I sold my home of 25 years, I left the place where my children's formidable years were spent. It was crumbling around me. I retired from my job of 34 years. I took a slash in half of my income to do it. I couldn't afford my crumbling home so the subsidized apartment was a Godsend to me. I pay $250 a month for rent and cable. It includes heat, electric, water and trash. I have an air conditioner, something I never, ever used in Reading. It was just too expensive. Here, in Coldwater, its December and I have the air running. It's so hot here on the top floor. Yet I don't mind running it, I can finally afford it. Finally, I got a boyfriend in my almost 60's. He's a keeper, I just had to take a decade to realize it. When Michael and I met and fell in love 10 years ago, it was obviously for keeps, we just had a 10 year hiatus, before I realized how crazy I am about that man. 

In my 60's I have grandchildren who I'm over the moon in love with. I have my three and there is a twinkle in Scott's eye so I expect more sooner than later. These young  people are my reward in life. They are each so different, with their own personalities. Brody with his humor, Cloey with her intelligence, and Daisy with her joy and zest for life. These young people taught me what it is to love without bounds. I thought I hit that mark with my own children, but I was so wrong, it only gets better with grandchildren. I would do anything, go anywhere, just to be there for my grandbabies. 

I learned about cooking for one in my 50's and almost 60's. I learned that I like spending time alone. Not just the depressed, anxiety ridden alone, but alone with myself to entertain me. I shine a lot when I'm alone. I shine brighter with Michael by my side though, but I shine alone too. That speaks volumes to how comfortable I have become as I age. 

If I learned anything over the years, I learned this, It's not about looks, or shape of a body, it's about being kind to others. Kindness really does matter in the long run. I have my family, a circle of friends, I have my Michael, and I have my humor.  What more do I need? 

December 21, 2020

up at 5:30 this morning. having coffee and a sandwich for breakfast. Going to take my morning pills and start cleaning till I can't anymore. I'll just take it slow and steady. I want to put my Santa tablecloth on the table. 

Feeling stable today. Not like I want to crawl back into the bed and forcing myself to stay out of it. Some days are better like that. 

I found another damn bed bug. That makes 6 or 7 since the bug man was here. I gotta let Bob know so that he gets them back in here next month. 

I'm up to 18 "Stories" in my book. I want to write about mom next. 

 December 22, 2020

I was outside last night searching for the Star of  David. A phenomenon only seen once every 800 or so years. It was cloudy and I couldn't see it. I did see it in another person's post on Facebook though and it was truly amazing. Jupiter and Saturn aligned to create it. 

I got up at 2:30 and 2:30 and finally stayed up at 4:00. I have to go get a chemically induced stress test today at the Hillsdale hospital at 7:45. I hate when I have early morning plans. I have anxiety over sleeping through my appointments. It kept me up last night. I set three alarms, though I didn't need any of them. I see a nap in my future. It's 6:16 right now as I write this morning. I want to finish cleaning my apartment today after my nap. I need to put some things away in my living room and vacuum and mop the floors. I need to wash a few dishes today too. 

I got my hair braided, just gotta get dressed and be outta here in 30 minutes. Now I'm dressed. Just gotta slip on my shoes and be off. I have 20 minutes to spare! 

I'm missing Michael. He's coming out on Thursday evening which is Christmas Eve and staying through Tuesday. He has to work on Saturday but he'll come back after work. It will be nice to spend some time with him. 

I got to the hospital in plenty of time. When I got there they took me back and started an IV. I was hooked up to monitors for the EKG and the doctor came in to inject the nitroglycerin. It made me breath hard and heavy for a minute there and I got warm. It wasn't as bad as Mary Lou and John made it out to be. I had to get some radioactive liquid put in my vein so my heart would light up. Then they took 22 minutes worth of pictures of my exercising heart. I have to go back and have a series done on my resting heart on Monday at 2:00. They'll shoot me up with the radioactive liquid that will light up my heart, but they won't do the stress test again. They just want a comparison of my exercising heart vs. my resting heart. It'll be good to know what's going on in there. 

 I put some things away in the living room and I still have to do dishes and sweep. 

I called Michael, he's going to the park for a while. That is his happy place. Feeding the birds and squirrels. It gives him a minute to breathe and catch his thoughts. 

It's 12:03 and it's been a long day. 

December 23, 2020

Up at 4:30 again today. Lee said he would text me this morning if he wants me there to work today. (He never did! UGH!) Breakfast this morning was Sue's mac salad. I like her recipe, easy peasy and quick to make. 

I swept the floors and mopped them, I scrubbed out the toilet and cleaned the bathroom. I'm going to vacuum here in a bit. I been saying I was going to do it all week. Finally did it. I need to scrub down my stove and cupboards too tonight. I did the dishes this morning. MaryLou gave me some sausage bread today. I'll have that for dinner. 

I went to the Rite-Aid today and picked up my xanax. I have been out of it for a week. It helps me sleep through the night, hence these early morning risings. I need to talk to Brielle about that. 

I got the dinner thing done. I didn't eat much of the bread. It was rubbery and tough. I got the floor ready to vacuum. Finally! It's vacuumed! Done! Now just gotta clean the cupboards off. 

December 26, 2020

I have a wonderful Christmas. Michael and I went to Becky's so the kids could open their presents. Becky got everything she asked for and more. Mike got a gift card. They both got their stockings. We ate sliders and crab legs, and had cupcakes for dessert. Becky got me a 2 quart Cast Iron Dutch Oven and a goodie bag filled with my favorite cookies and candies. Michael got a goodie bag filled with his favorite chips and candies. It was a really nice time. Michael and I came home to open our stockings and take a photo under the tree. I thought it turned out great! I loved us in our matching pjs. I might use this shot for our Christmas Cards next year! 

Christmas day had us opening presents from each other. I got him suspenders, his chocolate breakfast, eBay tape and his new leather bag. He got me a floor mat for under my chair, my mom's photo framed for me and a chicken purse I have been wanting for years! I made us scrambled eggs for breakfast, and then I went and took a Christmas nappy nap. When I got up I made a chocolate pudding pie and Fettuccini Alfredo with Garlic bread for Dinner. One of Michael's favorites meals. Have I mentioned that I'm crazy about that man? 

Today we are braving the wilds and going to Best Buy and Target in Jackson. He wants to get his mom a police scanner and I want to get a new Christmas tree with my Christmas money I got. Michael's mom was so generous and gave me $50 and coupled with Billy and Sarah's Target gift card for $25 I should have enough to get a tree half off. Michael was still sleeping so I went and snuggled him awake. If we are going to get a move on we got to get moving! He's having his chocolate milk now. I already had three cups of coffee this morning. I got up at 4:30 UGH! 

December 27, 2020

I got up at 7:30 this morning. I went to bed at 9:30 last night, I was tired! I got up and cleared off the table and took photos for eBay. I posted 7 items on eBay and three of them I posted on Facebook as well. Hopefully I'll be able to sell some stuff!

Michael slept till nearly 11:00 it was too quiet without him in the room with me. We talked about doing something on Sunday (today) but now we can't remember what that was that we were going to do. 

Michael's going to cut my nails after my shower tonight. They need it bad. 

I'm boilng a pot of turkey bones leftover from Thanksgiving. Mmmmm Carcass soup is the best! Even Michael will love it!

December 28, 2020

I got up at 6:30. I had to go to Hillsdale Hospital by 2 to get my resting heart photos taken. Michael made me scrambled eggs for breakfast. We went to Hillsdale and stopped at the thrift shop. There was nothing there, so we went to the Rite Aid to pick up scripts and then over to Family Fair to get stuff for dinner. I made hot dogs and mac and cheese, coney dogs for me. I've been watching TV and playing on the computer all night. 

Sis sent me a Christmas present that I got today. There was a Vera Bradley Blanket, my Cinnabar Perfume and Lotion set, a Coffee tumbler that says, "You are Wonderful, Keep that Shit Up!" A sloth mask, sloth hand warmers, sloth chip clips, a handmade ornament and a handmade keychain. She thoroughly spoiled me this year. But it wasn't a chicken purse or a framed picture, only my Michael would spoil me like that. He went with me today too. He had to wait in the car, so he drove down to the lake and fed the geese. It's 9:22 and I am ready for bed! It's been a long assed day. 

December 29, 2020

Bug man is coming today. I haven't seen a bug since Thursday. I have to spray the apartment down with Lysol since we been smoking in the apartment, I don't want Bob to notice. I'm getting a second cup of coffee here in a few. I was up at 5:30 this morning. 

I got a prompt from StoryWorth today, What is one of your favorite trips that you've taken? What made it great? I think I'm going to write some on my book. Other than the bug man, there is not too much going on today. Audrey is coming by to try on a pair of boots I have for sale on the Marketplace on Facebook. 

December 30, 2020

Up at 5:30 again this morning. Gonna take a nappy nap here real soon. So Audrey never showed up yesterday. As soon as I wrote about not seeing a bug since Thursday, Michael came out of the bathroom with a bug, and I found on my arm in the car yesterday. Today there were 2 crawling on me. I killed them all,, but still. 

I pulled out the cricut this morning and made Susan her saying, I made a nightshirt for sis and a bag for me. I ordered some huge ziploc baggies to put my boxes for eBay in to keep out the bugs. I gotta do something to keep them at bay. 

I talked to Michael this afternoon. Not quite the same as him being here, but it's still nice just to talk to him. 

I've been having bathroom problems all week. I wish I could stop with the running. I take pepto bismal and still got the trots. Yesterday me and Michael had to leave the apartment for 2 hours. We were in our pajamas. We went to Goodwill (found nada), to the park to feed the geese, and to the discount food store in Bronson. I bought us whoppie pies to eat on the way home. I was worried about being gone away from a toilet that long, but I held it off till I got home. We ate Whoppers for dinner. 

Well, off to nap. It's 2:50 pm. Woke up and it's 5:50. I guess I was tired. I finished up Mary's nightshirt and my bag I had to iron them on. 

Susan came by and picked up her saying. 

I have to be up by 9 so I can meet the lady who bought the tan boots. 

I finished up helping Connie one with her problem with her credit card. I took her info back to her. She was appreciative. 

I had a ham salad sandwich for dinner tonight. I wasn't too hungry. I'm waiting for Michael to call. Then I might put away my cricut. 

December 31, 2020

New Years Eve. I'm overdrawn in my bank account, sitting on a bug infested chair, and having the time of my life. I really have no worries. My bills get paid, it was an oversight on my part that the bank account was overdrawn, the bugs are being taken  care of and I'm on top of that situation, so even though it sounds bad, it's not. 

My New Year's resolution is to give up smoking for good. I can do this! 

This year brought a whole lot of new things into my life. Michael is one of them. I wear his ring now. Officially off the market. Wanting him in my life forever, I'm happy to wear his ring. I have moved away from my big drafty house to this new little apartment and I love it. No more money pit. No more worries that the house will catch fire, or leak, or bust again. Someone else has the house covered, so it doesn't have to be my problem anymore.  

And I retired from work this year. That is the most dramatic change in my life. Not getting up every morning to go to a job. I don't miss the stress of the job. I do miss my peoples though, a lot. I was approved for disability, not having to worry about money is a great thing.

I suffered through this pandemic alongside everyone else. I had Covid-19, and I came out on the other side with a few minor complications. I'm still fatigued, I tire easily. My breath is taken away easily. I do a few things and have to sit down and catch my breath. The doc says it takes a lot of time to fully recover, and I'm sure I will, in time. 

I guess mostly through, the changes in my life this year, I found peace. As I sit here today, I can say that I'm happy, and peaceful. My stress is lessened. I have a best friend who loves me and who I'm crazy about, I'm financially okay. I have a cute little home that someone else upkeeps for me. I have my friends and my family. I have love surrounding me. I guess you can't ask for a better year in the face of a pandemic. 

I took MaryLou to the WalMart. She needed to get a few things and I got a couple things as well. I got my coleslaw for tomorrow. Gotta have cabbage on the New Year's day. Something about helping it to be a prosperous year. Legend has it that way back in the day, if you had cabbage left from your harvest and ate it on the New Year, it would bring wealth and prosperity to your household. I'm going to make slaw dogs like I always do, It's tradition. 

I talked with Michael to ring in the New Year with him. It's 12:36 and I'm hitting the hay.