The Parrot :o)

The Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back.  John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.  John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly open the door to the freezer, the parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?" 

 
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! J

What is a Massapequa? (Herman's Story)

What is a Massapequa?

When I was 22 years old, a friend who lived on Long Island near Massapequa, asked me to come out and share expenses with her. Her husband was going into the Army. Having just survived the most extreme year of my life, I was happy to change my geography, thinking that it might just change my attitude as well. I told her yes, I would be happy to move in with her.

There Is Something About A Man In Uniform.

I was able get a job at the 7-11 convenience store at 80 Brooklyn Avenue in Freeport, which was about 1/4 mile from the apartment we lived at. I walked to work everyday. I tried to work as many hours as possible to be able to pay my bills. I was working the 7 to 3 shift this June 2^nd Wednesday that the YooHoo man made his delivery. I was stopped in my tracks. I stared at him. Gawked is a better word for it. He went about his business not noticing me. He put away the bottles of chocolate YooHoo and brought me the packing slip. I wiped away the drool that was dripping from my chin and took a deep breath. I left to count the wares and signed the packing slip. He left without another word. He would return with more YooHoo on Friday.

Move Over Fabio.

For the next two days my fantasies had us in every romantic situation possible from riding white steeds to piloting airplanes to secluded islands. As Thursday turned into Friday, I walked to work with an extra bounce to my step. My YooHoo man was returning. He walked through the same series of steps that he had done on Wednesday. It was simply a prelude to the rest of our lives together. I counted the YooHoos and as I handed him the slip back, I asked him his name. "Herman." Getting him to say more was going to take tact. "Okay, Herman it’s nice to meet you." Ugh, meet him? I wanted to lay down in sweet green grass with this man and let him read poetry to me as we sipped Chocolate YooHoo’s til nightfall. Do better my mind shouted. "Doyouwanttogotodinnerwithmeandmaybemovieafterwardtonight?" He smiled at me and laughed. "Are you serious?" This was the most serious string of words that ever rushed out of my mouth. "Yup, serious." Oh My God Oh My God I’m sounding like a half-wit! "Sure, should I pick you up here?" At that point I think I did the Snoopy dance in front of him with a little yippee shout. I gave him my phone number and told him where I was staying.

You Call It Soda, I’ll Call It Pop.

On June 4, 1982 at 7:30 pm Herman and I went out on our first date. We saw the movie Poltergeist starring Craig T. Nelson, JoBeth Williams and Heather O'Rourke who played this really creepy five year old girl. I remember taking the opportunity that scarey movies allow to curl up close and tight next to Herman. He protected me from the fictitious demons on the silver screen and kept me safe from harm. We went to a little hole in the wall pizza joint for dinner. It was the best New York pizza I ever had. A slice of pizza pie with fresh mozzarella cheese and sweet basil on mine. I can’t remember what he had on his slice. We drank pop, he called it soda. I was in heaven. I remember what he smelled like when he put his arm around my shoulders as we walked down the street. Still some 27 years later, I remember what he smelled like.

Unfortunate Crucial Information.

It is unfortunate that I have to add the next few statements. It is crucial to the decisions that will unfold as this story is told. On September 14, 1981 I had a baby I named Christopher. She was born 6 weeks early. She lived four hours. When she died, I lost a part of myself, a part that would remain empty for the rest of my life. I think all mothers who lose children feel some part of the same way. I went wandering for a couple years, sometimes getting lost, and sometimes just hiding. I was resisting the urge to live. I was heartbroken and empty. This is what I eluded to in the first paragraph when I said, "Having just survived the most extreme year of my life ..." With that understanding I was certainly not ready to conceive another child. I barred my uterus from accepting any sperm whatsoever. I was on the pill. Knowing that the pill is only 99.8% effective, I also had a diaphragm with spermicide that I used religiously. Coupling the pill and the diaphragm might have been enough, but to add to my own sense of security I also used the ‘Today Sponge’. While still used today, it was most popular in the 80's. The whole spongeworthy concept and all. Four types of birth control used simultaneously every time I had an inkling that I even might have sex so I wouldn’t ever be put in a heart wrenching situation.

Hershey’s Can’t Make Them Sweeter.

Herman may have thought he would get lucky on our first date. I know just smelling him did things to my soul that I thought were dead to me. I was feeling again for the first time in a long time. I was wanting to feel again. He did that to me. It was instant combustion when I saw him the very first time. Whoosh - strike a match, set a fire, light up the sky with fireworks ... To my own surprise, Herman didn’t get lucky that night. We talked and held hands. We walked with his arm around my shoulders. He made me feel safe in his arms. We were both very surprised when we saw the sun coming up. We left and he kissed me goodnight - sweet, delicious kiss. A kiss I have not forgotten. A kiss that was to begin the rest of my life.

Meatloaf or Marriage?

On the beach. At night. Full moon. Water lapping at the shore. I loved him. He loved me. It was beautiful, he was beautiful. I wanted to live forever in his heart. I wanted to be the reflection in his eyes for as long as his eyes could see. I wanted him to marry me. I never said that. Asking for dinner is one thing, asking for a husband is an entirely different conversation. Our time together was coming to an end, but of course neither one of us could have possibly known that yet.

Instructions For Positively Negative.

Step 1.) Take the pill.

Step 2.) Squeeze a line of spermicide around the lip of my diaphragm.

Step 3.) Put the diaphragm in place.

Step 4.) Wet the sponge, squeeze it out, snug it up tight to the diaphragm.

Everytime. Period.

No Period.

One morning, I think it was Oct 29, of 82, I woke up knowing something was not copasetic . I was positive I was pregnant. I took a test and it showed negative. I took another, it too was negative. I was positively positive I was pregnant and did not know what to do. I felt so alone and so perplexed. How? How? How? I was 100% on my 1.), 2.), 3.), 4.). Everytime. So here is where I threw all my Baggage with a capitol B into my thought process. The way I saw it through my eyes, the same eyes that in the not so distant past had received a devastating blow to the soul was

1.) Herman would ask me to marry him. Yippee! I would have said yes, emphatically YES! Then I would spend the rest of our married life wondering if he felt stuck, forced, having no other option but to marry me, or,

2.) Herman would give me $300 bucks and point me in the direction of an abortion clinic, or

3.) Deny, deny, deny.

Dear John, err, umm Herman.

I wasn’t going to hear any of the above. I left. I skipped town. I ran away ... fast. Herman got a letter I left for him there at the 7-11. I didn’t mention the baby. I don’t remember what I wrote about, but I know it was a pack of lies. I was ‘going home’ to my mother’s house to have my baby. I probably told him something like ‘it was time to move on’ or perhaps, ‘I need to go visit a sick friend’. I don’t remember, I do remember crying the entire time I wrote. I so bad wanted to stay, but I was more afraid of what he would say. The next day I was gone.

Positively Positive Pee.

I urinated on so many sticks during the next couple of months. I was positively positive that I was pregnant, but it was showing negative on every single one of those taunting sticks. My sister in law said I was being wishful. My aunt asked me how did I know? I told her ‘I just do." My mom thought I was unbalanced. She knew what transpired within me during the aftermath of my Christopher. She fully expected me to turn up pregnant. Funny thing though, is, that I didn’t want to be pregnant, hence the overkill on the contraceptives, I just knew I was. It took 14 weeks for the pregnancy to show up on a contemptuous pee stick.

The Cowardly Lion has just received a Courage Medal.

July 13, 1983 came and I delivered the most beautiful baby boy. He looked just like his father, even at birth I could see Herman in him. Dark hair, dark eyes. Everyone said he favored my daddy, but I knew the truth. I found the courage I needed and I called Herman on December 31, 1983. We talked and laughed together for over five hours. Straight through the birth of the New Year. I had sent him a Christmas card with my son’s photo in it. Herman’s mother opened the card he told me. When she looked at the photo she said to Herman, "That baby is yours. He is you made over again." I told him then that, yes he was my son’s father. My son was almost 6 months old at that time. I remember there was a long, quiet time on the phone, then Herman whispered, "Why?" "Why now? I just got married." I remember all my air rushing out of my lungs. I couldn’t breath. The lights went dim, then they flared with blinding light. I blew it. Blew It Big Time.

Love Letters and Roses

When my son was two years old I took him to Long Island to meet Herman. He brought me a red rose, (I still have it) and a romantic Hallmark card (I have that still as well). It didn’t turn out the way my minds eye had fantasized about it. He was aloof. He was uninterested. He cared less than I thought he might. I left New York knowing I had made the right decision, but yet, I still loved him. Still yearned for him. Silently.

And Even Though I Know How Very Far Apart We Are, It Helps To Think We Might Be Wishing On The Same Bright Star.

My son, now a man himself got married this past summer. It wasn’t long afterward that he came to me and asked me a bit about Herman. He said he found what he hoped was the right address on the internet. He had mailed him a letter. I called Herman, I wanted him to know that the letter was coming. I wanted him to answer the letter. I wanted just to hear his voice say my name one more time. I spoke with Herman’s wife. They are still married. I didn’t know if she knew about my son or not, so I thought I better not mention him to her. I did ask her to pass my phone number on to Herman. He called me two and a half weeks later. Nearly twenty seven years disappeared when I heard his voice. He apologized to me. I miss him. Funny how that is, but there it is, I miss him. I still love him ... somewhere in my heart there is a place where love resides solely for Herman. He gave me the best part of me - he gave me my son. I never asked a thing from Herman, ever. The only thing I ever really wanted from him I couldn’t have anymore. He gave it to another woman. That’s sad.

Ever After.

I don’t know how this story is going to end. I sit here writing this tonight and wishing he would call.

Strange how all this makes me imagine him riding white steeds to piloting airplanes to secluded islands ... ... ...

Several Weeks Later ....

My son recieved the letter he had hoped for. It was filled with the information he wanted to know. There was photographs of Herman's family, he has two brothers. He also saw who he looks like, something I have known all his life, but never told him. My son is happy with the news and found out that his brother wants to make contact with him has thrilled him.

Me? Well I haven't heard back from Herman, nor should I. He is a long ago, albeit important figure in my life. Hearing his voice spirited me back into a time that was comfortable and easy in memory. It's was a soft sweet place to visit.

... and I start to take things for granted.

I was worried when she told me she was pregnant again. She had Brody and 19 months later, she had Cloey. Now 14 months after Cloey we will be blessed by another baby in the family. Three babies in less that three years. She does pregnant really well. With the first two she slid into motherhood without so much as a twinge of morning sickness. I was with her during her labors, both of them, so I saw with my own eyes. She doesn’t feel the contractions. None of them. Hard labor for her is saying, "Oh, I felt that one a little." Brody was born in four hours, Cloey in two. So I start to take things for granted. I have two beautiful, robust, healthy grandchildren and I start to take things for granted. She’s flown through two pregnancies, and I start to take things for granted. Until last Wednesday.

Last Wednesday the Nurse called. She asked for Becca. I watched as my daughter’s face turned white. "Today!" I heard her say to the Nurse. A test that screens the baby for a few horribly upsetting diseases; spina bifida, Trisomy 13, Trisomy 18, Trisomy 21, anencephaly and encephalocele came back positive. The Nurse called Becca to make an appointment to come in to talk to the Doctor. Becca wanted it right then. After she hung up the phone she sat with me and told me what the Nurse had told her. Since the Nurse was not a Doctor she couldn’t say anything about the results, just that the screener came back positive. The soonest she could get Becca in was Friday morning at 9 o’clock. I started praying.

Becca couldn’t take the wait. She insisted I drive her to the Doctor’s Office on Thursday. The Doctor was out of the office and Becca, with tears across her cheeks begged the Nurse to tell her which disease her baby had screened positive for. After about 10 minutes of ‘ethics’ talk, the Nurse finally gave it up and shared that the positive markers were for Trisomy. Down’s Syndrome. Becca left the office somber, her face blanched white. "Mommy, I love it already. I’m glad the disease isn’t something that will kill it." I had to pull the truck over. She sort of fell into my arms and sobbed. I tried my best just to soothe her and reassure her, but I have to admit, I cried right along with her.

Friday morning came and we heard the Doctor tell us about the screener. It shows it’s results based on odds. There is a normal range, and Becca’s screener came back with her odds increased for the Trisomys. It doesn’t mean her baby has it, it just elevates the chance

that her baby may have it. Normal for Becca’s stats is 1 in 2000. Becca’s is 1 in 1148. So the Doctor scheduled an amniocentesis.

The amniocentesis was this afternoon. The procedure has it’s risks, but all went very well. When we left the hospital this evening she felt a little better. Becca won’t know anything for three weeks. They send the fluids to the University of Michigan and grow cultures to see all the chromosomes. They study the chromosomes to see if there are any triplets instead of the normal pairs. (That’s what causes Down’s Syndrome; that one extra 13^th, 18^th or 21^st chromosome.)

We were able to see the baby. They did an ultrasound prior to the procedure that showed us the most beautiful sight. I will never tire from the awe that I feel when I have an opportunity to peek inside my daughter’s womb and see my grandchild growing there. To not just hear, but see it’s heart beating, knowing that for the moment, all is well and good.

Becca is upstairs sleeping soundly tonight. I went to check on her a little while ago. She pulled her little ones out of their beds and cuddled up with her babies. Brody is on one side of her and Cloey is on the other ... and my tiny little precious granddaughter is safe in her mommy’s tummy tonight.

Please take a moment and say a prayer for my Becca’s baby, and while you are at it please say a little prayer that Becca finds the strength she needs to get through the unknowing next three weeks. It’s a very frightening time for her, for us, for our family. She has suffered so much emotional pain already at the hands of her husband. She is just starting to take her first tentative steps toward a brighter future. I know that when the results are in, all will prove to be just the way it was meant to be, but until then she could use a little extra prayer to see her through.

love me later~tj

Pass the Duct Tape and Kiss the Bride; A Week in the Life of Me...

Bridesmaid Dresses and Baby Bottles (Two days before the wedding.)

She called me on Thursday. Through her tears she said, "Mommy come and get Brody and Cloey and me." She never cries. Always stoic she told me over and over that everything was ‘fine’, but a mommy knows her children. Now she adds, "And hurry mommy!" I threw aside her bridesmaid dress that I was hemming for the third time. It was defeating me. I grabbed up my truck keys and headed out the door. Visions of her husband in the hospital or in jail circled my head. I knew it was bad, she never cries. When I got to the trailer, she stood there, with tears streaming down her face she told me, "We are getting a divorce." And the air was sucked out of my lungs.

Backing up to ‘The Last Straw’ (Four days before the wedding)

All her life she suffered from head lice. I used to say if she walked through a crowd the little lice bug would gather and their bugles would sound as they charged straight to her head. She’s 22 years old and she’s had lice about 22 times. I had her children at my house on Tuesday and I found some nits in my grandson’s hair. I bought the paraphernalia and took care of the issue. Anyone who ever deloused knows what it entails, so I will spare the details here. I called at the trailer she lives in and told her to check everyone there. When she told me that her boy hadn’t been anywhere, I told her to make sure that her husband checks her. When I returned her children to her on Wednesday, she told me it was indeed she that had the mother-lode in her hair and assured me that her hubby was taking care of it later in the day. I told her I would stay and help her. After all, I was a pro at nit picking... I’ve done it all her life to her. She was especially quiet, but she told me no he’d help her. As always she held a stoic face and everything was ‘fine’. I drove away wondering when her no good husband of hers would find them a home - They have been married only 3 short years and in that time they have moved 14 times. She is pregnant with my third grandchild. During part of her last pregnancy her husband thought living in a tent was a good idea, and my sweet naive Becca just said to me when I protested, "It’s fun mommy. Besides, he’s my husband." She always made excuses for him. I always looked for bruises on her, but I knew the bruises her caused her were hidden on her heart, because they were not showing on her body.

A Mommy’s Interjection

Now don’t you go wondering why she wasn’t living here with me before this. I tried.... Always I was told no. Always I was told that she would stick by him because he was her husband. They lived here with me for about a year and a half, until Brody was 3 months old. I about strangled her good for nothing husband 64,975 times. When they left here, I told her she and the babies could come home, but he would never live in my house again. I meant it. Of course I did what I could, but it fell so very short of what they needed. I kept praying that one day she would see the light, before it was too late for her.

So back to Thursday (Two days before the wedding)

I was shocked when it registered in my head that Becca has no hair. Seems hubby’s way of ‘taking care’ of the lousy situation was to hold her down and shave her head. Bastard. She cried again as she told me about the last straw. I assured her it was cute, but my heart was breaking for her. So I helped her pack up what she needed for her and the kids and moved her back to my house. After we got here and put her things away, I had to run a wedding errand. I left her alone for 15 minutes. When I got home she told me she was scared her husband would come and kill her or the babies while I was gone. That one sentence said it all to me. My shotgun is out from the closet now. It’s standing in the corner of my bedroom with the shells near enough by load it quickly. It’s silently waiting to protect her and the babies if need be. It’s all so sad. But I found my smile hidden somewhere, dusted it off and super glued it on my face. She was temporarily settled. The doorbell started ringing and I opened it. Next thing I knew I was hugging my cousins from West Virginia who came to stay with me during the wedding. Ahhhh, thank God for super glue!

Duct Tape and Potato Salad (One Day Before the Wedding)

I got up early. So much to do before 6 PM. The rehearsal dinner was at 6. The rehearsal at 7 and decorating the hall at 8. I told Becca that were putting her issues on the back burner. Not that it wasn’t important to me, but this weekend was ALL ABOUT THE WEDDING. I got out the super glue and she found her smile and dusted it off. I had to help her glue the edges but she went through the day with a smile. I started my day out this particular Friday boiling potatoes at 5:30 AM. My portion of the dinner was potato salad, noodle salad, beverages, peel and eat shrimp with dipping sauces, baked beans, a bridesmaid with a hemmed dress, a ring bearer with a fitted tux, someone to watch over Tink (Baby Granddaughter) while the wedding was taking place and me. HA! So by 10 AM all the food was ready. My cousin and my daughter and my ex-husband all pitched in and we got it done, packed it all away and hit the ‘easy’ button! The bridesmaid dress was serving up another can whoop ass on me Friday, so I went to Wal-Mart for some help. Did you know that they sell red duct tape? With a ruler and some tape the dress was FINALLY hemmed. Booger’s tux was finished, my outfit ironed and we had time left to hit a couple of Garage Sale. (My cousin Mary’s idea). I made it to the rehearsal dinner 10 minutes early. I made it through the rehearsal without tears and the hall was decorated by 11:45 that night. My head hit the pillow at 2:30 in the morning wondering what the weather would be like tomorrow. The wedding was outdoors ...

Pssst ... That's me there in the teal dress

Wedding Day

We all - all 9 of us got up dressed in wedding clothes and got to the wedding early. The photographer wanted us there early to take a few shots. I had packed a picnic lunch and after the photographer was done with us we changed into play clothes. We had three hours to kill and a two year old in a white outfit - well enough said. We played in the park, ate lunch and napped under a tree until it was time to get dressed again. The weather was in the 90's but there was a really nice breeze coming off the lake that kept us cool in our ceremony clothes.

I present to you Mr. & Mrs...

They were married in Polkagon State Park in Indiana overlooking the lake. It was absolutely beautiful. She will make him so happy. She made a stunning bride. But it was my son who took my breath away. He was so handsome as he stood there ready to except her hand in marriage. Through my tears I saw a boy, a gangly teen, but as I wiped away the tears, he was indeed a man. My only son. My pride and joy. He is her husband now. She is so lucky to have him. I am so blessed. My daughter walked up the isle in her duct taped bridesmaid dress. In spite of the haircut, she was beautiful. She hugged her brother. I cried. Then all eyes turned toward Chelsea. My eyes were riveted on my Scott. The beautiful look that overtook his face said it all to me. All was right and good. The preacher was Scott’s youth minister from his childhood. It was a more than wonderful ceremony.

                        

Everything went off without a hitch. The reception was filled with fun and laughter, good food and great people. We left at 9 PM. I brought the grandbabies home with me and the young adults went to the bar. There was a party waiting for them there. They danced and drank till closing time. My daughter and her one cousin were both pregnant so they were the obvious choices for designated drivers. I heard happy funny stories the next day. My Becca needed to have a release and she danced with her brother and new sister-in-law and had a great time with her cousins. I called my son and told him all the momma things I needed to, and then I wished him a safe trip on his honeymoon. They were on their way to Paris. He told me the Eiffel Tower was waiting. I could hear that he had a smile on his face, and his needed no super glue.

>

Today... (11 days after the Wedding)

Scott called me at 8:30 this morning. He and his wife are home from Paris. We talked for over an hour about the trip. I could hear Chelsea in the background laughing and saying, "Tell her about the ..." . They were in the car driving to their apartment in Michigan City. Their life starts back up tomorrow. Back to work, and college starts again for both of then in a couple weeks. We scheduled a date to have a pictorial view of Paris, but only if I would make him his favorite meal. Of course I will.

This morning my daughter is at the local college applying for school. The babies are at daycare and my ex-husband is at work. It’s very quiet here in my house. Life moves forward, it’s rearranged, but it moves forward. There has been no upset from my grandchildren’s daddy ... yet. I will stay cautious and leery on that respect. Scott and Chelsea are starting a journey building a life together that they both are working hard to achieve. Becca has taken her first timid footstep of achieving more for herself and her children. Life goes on.... and I am smiling without the help of glue.

love me later~tj

10 Questions - Luxy's Challenge

Luxy challenged us to answer these 10 questions ... and well here are my answers!

1) What do you like about your job? The children (I teach Inclusion Head Start) oh and I get a paycheck.

2) Favorite song/group/music type? Harry Chapin, and so many others. Josh White Jr. Has a line in one of his songs that says, "Music is the way, the music of the day, the total of the awe that I encounter." It's kinda like that with me too, I am in awe of most any kinda music.

3) What nicknames have you had and why? Why TJ because my name is Tammy Jo, and my daddy has called me princess all my life, does that count?

4) Favorite car and why? 1974 Green Voltswagon Beatle. Want one bad. Still.

5) Last lie you told, to whom, and why? I can't remember, so one of two thing may be happening here ... 1.) I don't lie. 2.) I've told so many that I can't recall the last one.

6) Dream vacation spot? Bathroom. Clawfoot bathtub. Millions of bubbles. A butler to refill my drink. A book.

7) Dream date? March 11, 2006 - I dreamt of that date for years. My first grandchild was born on that date.

8) Best friend and why? Jo - she and me we been together since 1979. I met her when she was dating my friend Jimmy. We have been there and back and still manage to love each other unconditionally.

9) What was the best job you ever had and why? Being a momma. If this is meant to be a paid job, it would have to be teaching. Or being a truck dispatcher for Coca-Cola when I was 19. I used to wait for the truckers to come in and I would ride with one. It was a lot of fun. One night I drove a double clutch 13 gear semi up I-75 by the Silverdome. I was scared but I had a good teacher - Lawdy the troubles I could have gotten into!

10) If you could pick any one super power what would it be? I guess I would want to be Band-Aid Chick. I'd make those who weren't - well. Or, I remember a dog cartoon from when I was a kid. This dog carried a satchel. Anything the dog needed - anything was in the satchel. From houses to boats to money to food hed would reach his paw into the bag and pull out whatever was needed. I'd like that power.

Leave your answers in the comments or in your own blog, you choose.

The Teacher Applicant

THE TEACHER APPLICANT

 

After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching prospect said, 'Let me see if I've got this right!

You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning. You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride! You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job. You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the state exams. You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English and Spanish by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card. You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps!? You want me to do all this and then you tell me........

 

I CAN'T PRAY!!!!!!

Paying attention to my dreams, and other things.

5.29.08 Horoscope:

"Pay closer attention to your dreams -- they may help you identify patterns that could shed a lot of light on your life. Your subconscious mind is working while you sleep, playing out different potential scenarios and showing you alternate ways of looking at the world. Sure, most of the images are weird or downright disturbing, but sometimes being disturbed is the best way to wake up from the monotony of routine. Your brain is hungry for a change in your life, and your heart should be, too."

I’ve been MIA for about a month or so now. It’s not that I was ignoring my online friends and family. I haven’t been really inspired to write about anything. I’m still not – but paying attention to my dreams – I thought I’d start and see where I end up at.

On Pain.

I have been in chronic pain since November of 2007. In January I took time off work to do a medical work-up, an MRI, and to get my back better. The doctor limited me to 10 pounds, with no repetitive bending, twisting or stooping. That took me out of work for the duration. In pain with nothing to do except dwell on my pathetic situation. I became rueful and depressed. The routine was so repetitious, every day being the same as the one before it. The days became months and hazed over in my mind. November, December, January, February, March, April, May. Almost 7 months of pain, pills, physical therapy, pills, doctors, test, pills. Pain is a curious thing. It made me begin to doubt myself. In this difficult, painful near year of my life, I began to wonder if I was psychoneurotic. My mind making me ill, my mind making the pain burn in my back. Then May 22 came.

I had an appointment at the Pain Clinic. I waited six weeks to see this doctor. I wanted to ask him to help me. I wanted to tell him what the pain was making me think. I was surprised that he took my pain seriously. No one else in my life was. My friends and family began doubting my claims of pain, my declines of invitations, my lack of enthusiasm to join in on outings.

The doctor spent almost two hours pouring over my history. He had me move my body as he watched. He pressed and prodded, he made grunting noises and clucking sounds as I grimaced and moaned my way through the appointment. He made purple marker x’s on my back. He looked at a diagram and pressed my back here, and there. I hurt. That’s all. I just hurt. He wanted me to describe the pain. Shooting, burning, throbbing, achy. He listened and then he said to me the most amazing thing.

"I know what’s wrong with you."

I must have just stared at him, because he said it again. "I know what’s wrong with you, and I can help." "Okay, what’s wrong with me?" I played along.

Myofascial Pain Syndrome with Gluteal Trigger Points

"Whew",  I thought, "that’s a mouthful". After a series of shots, I did indeed walk out of the office without pain for the first time in 7 months. I came home and looked up the syndrome he diagnosed me with. It seems as mysterious as the pain.

In the week since I left that clinic I have gone on bike rides with my grandson. Take walks pushing my granddaughter’s stroller. Walked with my daughter. Drove to my friends home. I haven’t dwelled on the can’t. It’s amazing really. The pain may come back, but the treatment for the syndrome is available to me with a phone call.

On Mobile Telephone Contracts.

I use T-Mobile. I have for three and a half years. Near the end of April I got a letter in the mail that said they will no longer service me after May 28. Seems I use a roaming tower that T-Mobile rents space from to service me. I have known that I bounce my T-Mobile service off the Centennial tower, it says so on my phone, but I never paid extra for it and I got good service in my house, so I didn’t think too much about it. That is until I got the letter. I called them up. They were losing their contract to rent tower space from Centennial. Now it was going to cost way too much for T-Mobile to continue to service me as a customer. There would be no termination fees they assured me. Well, after all the dust settled, I switched to Centennial Wireless. I paid my final bill to T-Mobil on May 8^th, and haven’t looked back. Until today that is. I got yet another final bill from T-Mobile with a $200.00 early termination fee attached to it! I called T-Mobile. After MUCH explanation from me, and several ‘I need to speak to your supervisors’, I was put on hold. I was finally given a phone number to call. It’s the office of the representatives who dumped me from T-Mobil and will help me settle my bill. I’ll call that number tomorrow. I bet you can guess how that conversation is going to go huh? I can guarantee one thing... I won’t be paying a second final bill.

On Grandchildren.

I’ll love ‘em all. My daughter is expecting Number Three. She’s hoping for another girl. I’m hoping for a healthy baby. Cloey Jo is 7 months old now. She’s got two teeth and fine red hair. I took her to the shop and had her ears pierced before she could reach her ear lobes. She has the biggest smile for me. She’s giving out open mouth drooly kisses. (Yucky!) But, I accept them all gladly, and wipe away the slobber when she’s not looking. And of course, she’s beautiful.

Cloey Jo "Tink" 5.29.08

Brody is 2 years 2 months old. He’s riding his bike, with training wheels, like a champ. We ride bikes together. I ride slow and he rides fast and we both go the same speed. He adores visiting his ‘Yaya’ so he’s here everyday. Sometimes he stays for a half hour, sometimes he stays for two days. His antics keeps me stitches. He’s precocious, and fun, and of course he’s beautiful.

Brody "Booger" & Cloey "Tink" 5.1.08

Okay, enough for today. Maybe more tomorrow. I missed all y’all.

love me later~tj