Paying attention to my dreams, and other things.

5.29.08 Horoscope:

"Pay closer attention to your dreams -- they may help you identify patterns that could shed a lot of light on your life. Your subconscious mind is working while you sleep, playing out different potential scenarios and showing you alternate ways of looking at the world. Sure, most of the images are weird or downright disturbing, but sometimes being disturbed is the best way to wake up from the monotony of routine. Your brain is hungry for a change in your life, and your heart should be, too."

I’ve been MIA for about a month or so now. It’s not that I was ignoring my online friends and family. I haven’t been really inspired to write about anything. I’m still not – but paying attention to my dreams – I thought I’d start and see where I end up at.

On Pain.

I have been in chronic pain since November of 2007. In January I took time off work to do a medical work-up, an MRI, and to get my back better. The doctor limited me to 10 pounds, with no repetitive bending, twisting or stooping. That took me out of work for the duration. In pain with nothing to do except dwell on my pathetic situation. I became rueful and depressed. The routine was so repetitious, every day being the same as the one before it. The days became months and hazed over in my mind. November, December, January, February, March, April, May. Almost 7 months of pain, pills, physical therapy, pills, doctors, test, pills. Pain is a curious thing. It made me begin to doubt myself. In this difficult, painful near year of my life, I began to wonder if I was psychoneurotic. My mind making me ill, my mind making the pain burn in my back. Then May 22 came.

I had an appointment at the Pain Clinic. I waited six weeks to see this doctor. I wanted to ask him to help me. I wanted to tell him what the pain was making me think. I was surprised that he took my pain seriously. No one else in my life was. My friends and family began doubting my claims of pain, my declines of invitations, my lack of enthusiasm to join in on outings.

The doctor spent almost two hours pouring over my history. He had me move my body as he watched. He pressed and prodded, he made grunting noises and clucking sounds as I grimaced and moaned my way through the appointment. He made purple marker x’s on my back. He looked at a diagram and pressed my back here, and there. I hurt. That’s all. I just hurt. He wanted me to describe the pain. Shooting, burning, throbbing, achy. He listened and then he said to me the most amazing thing.

"I know what’s wrong with you."

I must have just stared at him, because he said it again. "I know what’s wrong with you, and I can help." "Okay, what’s wrong with me?" I played along.

Myofascial Pain Syndrome with Gluteal Trigger Points

"Whew",  I thought, "that’s a mouthful". After a series of shots, I did indeed walk out of the office without pain for the first time in 7 months. I came home and looked up the syndrome he diagnosed me with. It seems as mysterious as the pain.

In the week since I left that clinic I have gone on bike rides with my grandson. Take walks pushing my granddaughter’s stroller. Walked with my daughter. Drove to my friends home. I haven’t dwelled on the can’t. It’s amazing really. The pain may come back, but the treatment for the syndrome is available to me with a phone call.

On Mobile Telephone Contracts.

I use T-Mobile. I have for three and a half years. Near the end of April I got a letter in the mail that said they will no longer service me after May 28. Seems I use a roaming tower that T-Mobile rents space from to service me. I have known that I bounce my T-Mobile service off the Centennial tower, it says so on my phone, but I never paid extra for it and I got good service in my house, so I didn’t think too much about it. That is until I got the letter. I called them up. They were losing their contract to rent tower space from Centennial. Now it was going to cost way too much for T-Mobile to continue to service me as a customer. There would be no termination fees they assured me. Well, after all the dust settled, I switched to Centennial Wireless. I paid my final bill to T-Mobil on May 8^th, and haven’t looked back. Until today that is. I got yet another final bill from T-Mobile with a $200.00 early termination fee attached to it! I called T-Mobile. After MUCH explanation from me, and several ‘I need to speak to your supervisors’, I was put on hold. I was finally given a phone number to call. It’s the office of the representatives who dumped me from T-Mobil and will help me settle my bill. I’ll call that number tomorrow. I bet you can guess how that conversation is going to go huh? I can guarantee one thing... I won’t be paying a second final bill.

On Grandchildren.

I’ll love ‘em all. My daughter is expecting Number Three. She’s hoping for another girl. I’m hoping for a healthy baby. Cloey Jo is 7 months old now. She’s got two teeth and fine red hair. I took her to the shop and had her ears pierced before she could reach her ear lobes. She has the biggest smile for me. She’s giving out open mouth drooly kisses. (Yucky!) But, I accept them all gladly, and wipe away the slobber when she’s not looking. And of course, she’s beautiful.

Cloey Jo "Tink" 5.29.08

Brody is 2 years 2 months old. He’s riding his bike, with training wheels, like a champ. We ride bikes together. I ride slow and he rides fast and we both go the same speed. He adores visiting his ‘Yaya’ so he’s here everyday. Sometimes he stays for a half hour, sometimes he stays for two days. His antics keeps me stitches. He’s precocious, and fun, and of course he’s beautiful.

Brody "Booger" & Cloey "Tink" 5.1.08

Okay, enough for today. Maybe more tomorrow. I missed all y’all.

love me later~tj