Old Friends

Funny how sitting comfortably in middle age you can be transported back to grade school by just walking through a door. I grew up in a very tight knit community. Everyone in the neighborhood was not just a neighbor, they were an extension of family.  My God-Mother turned 70, and her daughter who now lives in Florida threw a surprise bash for her. Everyone was invited. It was held in a local pizzaria in our 'old' nieghborhood. We all showed up. My mother, myself and my daughter walked through the door and there I stood, looking at my girlfriends, my childhood sisters and we were 10 years old again. Sure we carried ourselves in older, wrinkled, graying bodies, but we were 35 years younger. We were awed and amazed at our children and we gawked over the changes in the boys. They were old.  Some of them were more handsome with age, some not. They were still ours. We learned about love and life with these boys. They were our 'firsts'.   The same laughter and giggles erupted from us as we spoke in whispers behind hands so no one knew what we were saying about whom.  It was a wonderful day. Grown up learnings about each other,  catching up on 35 years of living. Who married who, meeting spouses and laughing over young antics. Meeting children who rolled their eyes at us 'old folks' Looking at out parents and pampering and smiling fondly at thier table as we continued into the late afternoon, our kool-aid and pop of old replaced with beer and coffee.  Remember skinny dipping at the gravel pit? How about the garage rafters? Skipping school to go to Hudsons? Shhhh our mom's never knew. Remember when... Who was it that... The powerhouse... Growing up with this group of people was a treasure. One that is tucked away in box in my heart. I got to visit it yesterday. I unwrapped it, held it touched it and fondly remembered it as I met with a middle aged group of people in a pizzeria in my old nieghborhood.

love me later ~ tj

Entry for January 06, 2006

I write. Sometimes some words come to me, a thought that takes place and extends itself as I write the words on paper. This thought came to life between last night and tonight. I wrote it down. I thought I would share it here. Mind you I didn't claim to be a 'good' writer of words and thoughts, I said, "I write."  Keep this in mind when you read.           love me later ~tj

Wishes and Dreams

I crawled into bed utterly exhausted from my day. I was dressed in pink fuzz and huddled under an ancient ivory quilt, my head settled in my fluffed up pillow and I fiddled my shoulders around to find that perfect spot. After my body agreed that I had found it, I sighed a long breath of release. My mind has a way of going where it may at this time of the night, and it posed a question I uttered in a whisper. "If I wish hard enough will it make my dreams come true?" A mixture of bewilderment and excitement beamed from him, because we weren't taking our usual route to slumber. He heard my words, and eventually I heard his comforting voice answering my posed inquiry, I shouldn’t have been surprised that he answered me, but I was.

His voice was soft and silky conversing with me. "Dreams are tangible, while wishes need encouragement, but all in all they are one in the same." "How do you know this?" I looked into his eyes in a lazy, unfocused kind of way as I asked him. He is so wise, he raised one of his hirsute eyebrows and he winked a gold-green at me. I smiled as I nuzzled in close and asked him again. "Just how do you come to know this as fact?" He purred into my ear as I felt myself drifting off to walk amongst the clouds and catch jars of starlight before the dawn, "Take my word for it, I know these things." I snuggled in a little closer, rubbing his back, feeling the whiskers on his face tickle me and I sighed out, "When I was a little girl my father used to say, "If trouble ever troubles you, just dream your cares away."

Somewhere off in the distance beyond the moon’s glow I could hear Bette Midler singing. "A dream is a wish your heart makes when your fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches, whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams and someday, someday your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true."

He must have heard the music in the night air as well, for a bit of time passed before he spoke again. "Dreams and wishes," now he spoke very carefully, deliberately. He was oh so knowing, "Dreams are to be fulfilled. You have so much more traveling to do. On your journeys you will find many stops and turning points, just look out for the one sign saying ‘Dream Boulevard’. Take it, and then, give it your best shot."

"And wishes?"  I whispered, with just a little too much hope in my voice.

"Now they are just a little bit different than dreams," He spoke to me in a hushed, husky, hypnotic matter. "Compared to wishes, dreams are substantial. The are a goal intended to be hit, and dreams stand a good chance of becoming the genuine real. True. Wishes are like so much fluff off a dandelion flower, one breath and it will scatter in the breeze. Now pay attention, my sweet girl, wishes were bestowed for a reason. It’s only a human’s nature to have an abundance of wishes. The secret is to pick out your most impassioned wish. Then you need to give courage to this wish, you may have to tweak it every now and again. Allow it time to grow and mature and eventually this wish will magically turn into a dream. A dream that has stemmed from a wish is a very powerful dream indeed, one that has every chance of fulfilling itself."

I unburdened my dreams and wishes on him, each one mumbled into the indistinct stretch of night. They came out garbled as sleepy-eyed slumber stole the words away, and placed them gently into the buckets of stardust the sandman held. Somewhere, sometime in the night, I looked down on hazy white fluff that twinkled from below. I felt safe enough to fall and land on it with an awareness of belief of wishes and dreams. ~ tj 1/6/06

Entry for January 05, 2006 I love words. Sometimes I think too much about them. Here's one....

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two-letter word ..

... and that is "UP."  If you are not confused after reading this you must really be messed "UP."

It's easy to understand UP,  meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list but when we waken in the morning, why do we wake UP.

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ?

Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends, we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special, and this is confusing.

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP.

To be knowledgeable of the proper uses of UP, look UP the word in the dictionary. In a desk size dictionary, UP takes UP almost 1/4th the page and definitions add UP to about thirty.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth.

When it doesn't rain for a while, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP , so I'll shut UP...

Love me later~ tj

Entry for January 03, 2006

"The time has come," the Walrus said,

"To talk of many things:

Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--

Of cabbages--and kings--

And why the sea is boiling hot--

And whether pigs have wings."



Lewis Carroll  in Through the Looking Glass

Entry for November 29, 2005

I work too much.

Here's to you Pecanman!

I was summoned by a friend tonight. He and I go way back to a time when my kids were small and thier life issues were smaller. He needed a shoulder to cry on tonight. I let him cry. I offered advise, it's his to take or not. Mostly I listened. His life as he sees it is spiralling downward. I know him well. I know what he's made of. It hurt to see him this way tonight.  He's tough, he'll make it through this.  He'll need to clean house and see with his heart what changes need to be made in his life.  He told me that he might just rent a U-haul and one day see him pull up out front. I told him I'd welcome the sight. He won't. I know him well enough to know he won't run away and hide. He will fight. He will win. Funny how friendship lives through the years. Even though we don't see each other for years, sometimes months go by and we don't even talk on the phone, but just hearing his voice throws us right back to the time we met. He says the same thing. It's like no time at all has slipped by. Friendship like ours are rare.  He would call and share the good times and the bad times. I would call and carry on about my kids growing up. We'd share music, and books and talk about the days flying by. Through some really tough times in my life I leaned  on his friendship to help me get on. He is supported by my friendship. We can still make each other sane. Even now, all these years later. I call him the Pecanman . He calls me Snook. It's a comfortable and easy friendship we share. I wish him well. He's a friend that friends envy. I'm proud to call Fred my friend. He is friendship everlasting.

Entry for November 17, 2005 ~ The Damnation OF Snow ~

Fire and Ice

by Robert Frost 

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

 

Frost said it best destruction ... I despise snow. I hate it. It is the evilness of winter that suffocates my spirit and makes me cringe in the stillness of it's cloying wetness. It leaves it's mark on me year after year. I love Michigan and all of it's wonders, but damn I hate this soft, white, fluffy percipitation that clogs my mind and stalls my heart. There is nothing that I can find worthwhile about the events of snow. I can drink hot chocolate with marshmallows melting on top in front of a roaring fire cuddled up next to my love in November without the white stuff tick, tick, ticking at the windows. Sure it's pretty, but I could look at it in photographs, while wearing shorts and drinking margaritas on a sunny beach. I shovel it, wipe it, sweep it, salt it, blow it, move it, melt it, drive on it, bundle up against it, curse it, slide on it, skate on it, and still more comes. Play in it? Rarely, and then only when drunk (I don't drink often). My boyfriend says there must be one good snowball fight a year. He also mentioned something about a facewash, and I hope he is meaning Oil of Olay, with a warm washcloth. Because if he thinks that picking up the white stuff and smearing it on a body is fun, he needs to rethink himself. He can call up all the folks he needs to have a snowballfights with, as for me, I'll be in the house waiting for spring.

 

 

 

Today was the first snowfall of the season.

 

 

love me later ~ tj