There was a Dead Skunk in the Road ... I oned it, you twoed it, I threed it ...

Deer Don’t. Mice and Rabbits Don’t

Bears do. Frogs, turtles and snake do. But the one that does that I take an interest in is skunk. Skunk do. They hibernate all winter. They wait till they know it’s nearly spring and start their waddling strut about. The most fabulous thing happened in this frozen tundra I call home. I smelled a most familiar odor, and I nearly shouted with joy! My poor momma didn’t know what to think of me as I whooped it up while driving home from the grocery store with her. It was quite evident that I smelled skunk last night. It’s almost over! Whew it has been one long winter!

I Hate Traction

I have checked out of life almost completely, except for the random jaunts to the market with momma, I have been to physical therapy and the doctor’ office. Period. For nearly a month now my back has been out. OUT. It hurts ... a lot. Can’t sit, can’t stand, can’t bend, can’t lay down. I gave up on the pain medication. I still hurt, I just didn’t give a rip if I did. I know that this physical therapy thing is helping. My back is getting a softer feel to it. It felt like a concrete wall for awhile. The one thing I don’t like, that’s too kind a phrase, the one thing I HATE during PT is traction. They strap me into this automated contraption and pull me apart. It sets off spasms and pain unknown to me. Well it was unknown till that first day. Then the PT and the Doc both tell me that traction is what’s gonna get me well. UGH! I cry though it, I try not to, but my eyes leak and my teeth hurt from gritting the pain. I just keep thinking that maybe tomorrow when I get strapped down, it won’t hurt. That day will come ... just not soon enough to suit me. Driving home from physical therapy today I saw a dead runned over skunk in the road, and I just hadta smile.

Red Dresses and Curvature

My son is getting married in August to the one person I would have chosen for him if I had met her first. My new daughter to be is the perfect match for my son. She completes him, and he completes her. I love the way they love each other. My daughter and my new daughter to be went out shopping for bridesmaid dresses. They had a ball and found the perfect dress. My daughter tried it on for me and I was astounded! She’s been so busy since she was just 18 having babies that I failed to notice that she is stunning! The dress is a size 8. My daughter never wore an 8, she was a 15 (non maternity) last I knew, or noticed. She filled this strapless dress out in all the right places and I don’t really know when that happened to her. I was sort of sad, and happy at the same time. It will be a beautiful wedding for a beautiful couple of kids.

Assholes

I have got to clear my life of them. I still have these two hangers on that won’t go away. I am much, much, much too nice a lady. I have a soft place to land but he’s only gonna put up with my assholes for so long and then where will I be? Anyone out here willing to teach me how to be a bitch? I’m never too old to learn I suppose. Hey! If somebody done runned ‘em both over in the road would it make spring come faster? Chit, probably not! It would just leave a horrendous smell about the air. It was a thought though ...

Pondering ‘The Real’ Of Us

I was thinking about this the other day. We blog to perfect headshots of folks out there. Hand selected perfect photos of us all. Not a full bodied recent photo in the lot of us (‘Cept for you Karen). That got me to thinking on this a bit. I was thinking that we should have a ‘Get Real’ day and show each other what we REALLY look like. Ugly as it might be for all y’all to see me, it would be nice to know that I ain’t the only one with too many Krispy Kreme Donuts in my past. Vanity aside, I think we should stop the perfectly angled, camera covered photos of us ... if only for one ‘Real’ shot of us. I’m game. Anyone else?

Shop Victoriously

I sell on eBay. I have a little store on there. Well the other day I put on a soap dispenser. It was a cool old thing from the 50's but it was a powdered soap dispenser. Metal instead of plastic. Stainless and enameled. It was sweet. It was a soap dispenser. So a fella emails me. He tells me he wants it and how much to end the auction. So I write him back. This is exactly what I wrote him, "$35.00 I pay shipping." He writes me back, now I ain’t making this up, this is verbatim his email to me. "Thanks for the kind reply. I WOULD like to purchase it. Can we make it $45 inclusive of item, postage and PayPal payment? If so, how would you like to proceed?" Is he joking? I say $35, he says $45. Should I come back with "NO! I said $35, now it’s $33.50 mister!" In hopes that he goes up to $50? I marked it sold at $45 for my Vintage 1950's LURON Heavy Duty Powdered Soap Dispenser. Last week I put a 10¢ Kotex Dispenser Coin Operated Machine on eBay from that was made in 1951. I thought, if someone buys this, they will buy anything. It sold the same day for $50. People continue to scare the hell outta me.

Momma’s Got A Pimped Out Ride

I got a fix-it ticket. I couldn’t believe it! For what you wonder? I drive a white Ford Ranger. No frills, no muss about it. I put a little light up Ford symbol on the rear. It lights up when I hit the brakes. No biggie. "Woo-Woo-Woo-Woo-Woo" The cop tells me it’s illegal. It shimmers a blue light. $75 later, the damned light is turned off and my blinkers are fixed and I get bragging rites for having a truck so pimped it’s illegal! Speaking of rides, my son just bought his very first brand new car. A 2008 Chevy Cobalt. Way to go Scott! You finally got a reliable ride. I’m proud for and of you!

Okay that’s all I have to say now.

love me later~tj